Faking It

I have seen people fake it in public. The laugh. They joke. They are the life of the party. They are bubbling with personality, charm and humor. And I have seen the ugly truth behind all of that at times. Sometimes it was all a show to masquerade the deep seated sorrow in someone's broken world.

Proverbs 14:13 (NKJV) 
¹³  Even in laughter the heart may sorrow, And the end of mirth may be grief.


Behind some smiles is a broken heart and a sorrowful soul. We all fake it sometimes. Someone asks how we are doing and we reply, "I'm doing well. I'm good. I'm doing just fine." We are content to leave it at that and not probe any further. 

I recall a lady in a previous church I served who smiled a lot and appeared happy and joyful. Something about her did not convince me. One day the two of us were walking down a hall. It was her eyes. Her eyes betrayed the truth in her innermost being. I felt there was deep sorrow behind the smile she worked so hard to present before the public. She faked it. 

A question came to me and I acted on it. I asked, "Who hurt you?" She stopped in her tracks. Her stunned look likened to a person who just got suckered punched. Those sad eyes moistened. She tried to evade any further probing. She never did tell me who hurt her. Later I learned of many things hidden in a sorrowful heart and disguised behind smiles and laughter. 

On another occasion I attended a meeting with several preacher friends planning an event. I knew most of these guys. We were close. One of those guys I count as a close friend and brother. He is usually jovial. He was on that day. Yet behind the scenes he had been hit with the death of several loved ones in a relatively short period of time. 

After the meting I got him alone and asked how he was really doing. We walked outside and he broke down into tears. His heart crumbled in pieces right before my eyes. His truth that day communicated his whole world seemed like it crumbled before him. The intense grief he carried inside broke my heart. I loved on him and prayed with him in those few moments. Moments deeply etched in my mind.

How many others? How many hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands and maybe millions walk through life faking it. They labor to hold it all together though they feel like they are coming apart at the seams. Will we ignore these and go through life business as usual?

Sometimes I wonder if people really care. Do we really want to know the truth about people? I am an academy award winner at faking it. I can hide the truth of my circumstances when talking to friends, preaching and writing. I know how to keep people at arms length. I know how to build my defenses for protection and preservation. 

I know many people really don't care. They don't want to hear about sorrows. The masses don't want to enter into other people's private pain. If on occasion they do it is rare that they endure and stay the course util healing ndd breakthrough come. Bless God some do. 

So we all learn to fake it at times. To pretend we are happier than we really are. How many women dry their eyes and wipe away smeared make up to hide the truth in public. How many men choke back the pain behind a joke or small talk. 

It breaks my heart to think of the scores of people who gather for worship wearing plastic smiles and hiding the reality of sorrow. They never share it. They live in their own private prisons of pain. Grief suffocates true joy. The smile comes from rote memory more than from a merry heart. 

I am challenging you to do two things. First, look deep into the eyes of people. The eyes are the window to the soul. When you look deep into other's eyes what do you see? Study those eyes. Do they dance with light and joy. Are they sunken in sadness? Do you see life or lifelessness? What do you see? If you see sorrowful eyes will you be Jesus to that wounded soul? Will you courageously probe deeper to discover the truth? Will you enter into their pain and walk those grievous steps with them so they do not have to walk alone? If we all did that I think we would see more genuine smiles. If those smiles were genuine the joy behind them would be contagious. 

Secondly, I challenge you to open yourself up to a trusted person about your own sorrows. God created us to be in community with one another. God desires us to live connected to others. That means we will have to be real. The people of God should have the freedom to be authentic. To be honest about struggles and sorrows. To open the vault of the heart This takes courage. 

It takes courage to be authentic and not to fake it. Churches are filled with people faking it. They work hard at covering up the truth. They convince themselves they can never be honest. So they live in bondage to sorrow. They live in bondage to opinions of people. 

God offers freedom. Freedom for those who decide to quit faking it.