The Bitterness of Unforgiveness

You cannot go through this life and not be hurt, wronged, abused, or betrayed. We are sinners and live on a planet shared by other sinners. We choose the wrong instead of the right often. We both sin against others as well as have others sin against us. That is cold hard truth. We cannot avoid the trauma of others people hurting us. The natural response is unforgiveness and bitterness. We resent those who did us dirty. We allow bitterness to fester like a sore. 

Bitterness is anger and resentment. Have you ever been around bitter people? They are not pleasant people. I picture a scene around the Edwards' dinner table many years ago. I served a church that did not live up to what they promised and I was bitter. I was also bitter at the community that turned on us after years of service. Something got said around the table that night about both of those situations and I went off. My oldest son called me out for being bitter. I didn't like it at the time, but he spoke truth. I have grown to appreciate his remarks because God used them as a turning point in my life. The circumstances did not change but my attitude did. 

I recall a story told Corrie Ten Boon who was a Holocaust survivor. She had just finished speaking at a church and stood to shake hands with the people. A long line formed to speak with her. She graciously gave her time and attention to each one of them. She noticed a familiar face in the line several people away. She tried to recall where she saw this guy before. Then it came to her. He was the meanest guard in the Nazi concentration camp where her and her sister were incarcerated. Bitterness rose in her heart as she shook hands with the others. She recalled the tortuous and humiliating things this guard did to the Jewish prisoners. She had a choice to make before he got to her. She could forgive or cling to her bitterness and unforgiveness. She chose to forgive. Turns out the guard was repentant of his former actions. He did not recognize Corrie. Forgiveness is a choice. 

Jesus instructed in Matthew 18:21-22 that we are to forgive people for their offenses 70x7. Do the math. That is 490 times. Can you imagine forgiving someone that many times? Jesus did so to an even greater degree. If He was and still is willing to forgive, then what leg do we have to stand on not forgiving? It is a choice. Admittedly a hard choice. It is also a supernatural choice. It goes against human nature to forgive other people who have wronged us. It has to be the work of God in us to move us to this action. 

Bitterness only hurts the angry and resentful person. Some people may be oblivious that we hold a grudge against them. They may not even be aware we are bitter toward them. It eats up the bitter person. Bitterness can trigger the release of stress hormones in the body. It can increase the chances of heart disease. It can impact gut and digestive health as well as weakening the immune system. It put a strain on relationships and negatively affects mental health. It is to our physical well being that we choose the path of forgiveness. Because Jesus offers us forgiveness we should extend to that others who may not deserve it as well. 

The Sheep and the Shepherd

 Jesus is the Good Shepherd. He cares for those sheep in His flock. That is every saved person. Even though that includes hundreds of millions of people, He knows each of us by name. He also knows the imposters who try to sneak into the flock. He will separate them at the end of the age. He knows His own and they know His voice. [John 10:14] Not only that, but those sheep who or His also hear His voice. [John 10:27] 

Sheep are defenseless animals. They need a shepherd to protect them from harm. They are also not intelligent animals. They do not have the sense enough to protect themselves from danger. That is why they need a shepherd  to guide and guard them. It is interesting that Jesus compares us to sheep so often. We need a shepherd also. We need Him to protect us from evil and temptation to stray. We need Him to nourish us in our souls. We need Him to care for us and bind up our wounds when we are hurt. We need Him to lead us to the living water of His Spirit when life is hard and our souls get parched. 

There is another thing we need. We need this from our Good Shepherd even though many will reject it after reading it. Before I go into it, I need to tell a story. At a previous church I pastored, one Sunday morning one of our men's father came to visit. He also was a pastor and preacher. At the end of the service, I stood by the back door to visit with people as they exited the building. That preacher dad asked me if I knew what a shepherd would do for a sheep that kept running astray. I did not know. I was surprised when he said, "He breaks the sheep's leg so it can't run off." I was mentally digesting that when he turned and looked at his full grown son in the eye and then back to me. He commented, "Break his leg if he starts to stray." That was two decades ago and I still have not forgotten it. 

We need the Good Shepherd to chastise us when we stray. Sometimes that chastisement might be severe if we stubbornly refuse to stay close to Him and follow His leadership. In fact, [Hebrews 12:4-11] informs us such chastisement is proof of God's love. We have all strayed at some point. The Good Shepherd did not give up on us. He chased us and reclaimed us restoring us to the flock. I for one am grateful for a Shepherd who has brought me back time and time again. I'm thankful He did not give up on me in my stubborn prideful rebellion. I'm thankful He knows Matt and I know Him and His voice. I'm beyond thankful for His love that never lets go. If you are truly one of saved ones He knows you by name too. He loves you too. He faithfully pulls you back from straying also. Getting to be a part of His flock and protection is a blessing we must not take for granted. Jesus our Shepherd is always watching us and always watching out for us. May we find comfort and contentment in those truths.