Rejected

 One of the definitions of reject is to dismiss as inadequate. At some point we all are rejected in one way or another. In school by peers who exclude people from their social groups. Some athletes are rejected or cut from the team roster. People are rejected from being accepted in the gifted and talented programs at local schools. 

It hurts to be told or treated as inadequate. This happens as people apply to college or the workforce. People are rejected from enrollment and for jobs. The grades are not good enough. The qualifications are not up to standards for a person to get the job. All rejection. 

In the dating game, people are rejected as potential spouses. One of the common things to say is, "I think we should just be friends." The sting of rejection still hurts. What is much worse is when a spouse tells another spouse that they no longer want to be married to them anymore. Divorce is a harsh form of rejection. 

Over the years I have experienced my share of rejection. On occasion, I still get rejected. People come and visit the church and do not return. Some who attended for lengthy seasons suddenly decide they are going to worship elsewhere. In round about ways, this is like them saying you are inadequate. You are not good enough. While I have learned to roll with it over the years, I would not be telling the truth if I said it did not hurt a little. It does not feel good to be treated like you are not good enough. 

How many of you feel rejected? Dismissed as inadequate? There are several ways to deal with this. You can work to prove yourself. That is how I have often decided to deal with rejection. I guess for me it goes back to my childhood. My mother moved me to a new school where I had no friends. When we went to the playground for recess, most of the boys sequestered to play football. The two most popular boys were team captains. I stood on the fringe wanting to be picked. I was picked. Dead last. My drive and competitive streak kicked in. In football games like this the quarterback only throws the ball to his friends. I ran my patterns to perfection getting open but was never thrown the ball. I knew I was faster than the boy covering me. 

I ran my pattern again and everyone was covered. I was open and finally the ball was thrown to me. I had it all figured out in my mind. I would catch the pass, turn up field, and then score a touchdown proving my worth on the football field. The ball came to my hands and.....bounced right into the dirt. My fate was sealed for the rest of the year. I would always be chosen last and never get the ball thrown to me again. 

The drive to belong as an athlete drove me to push myself in private workouts. When I aged and my friends were out playing and partying, I worked out. Running in the hottest part of the day. Lifting weights in a storage building with no a/c or heat. I sweat in the summers and had to create my own heat in the winters. I climbed the fence at our football stadium to run bleachers. I worked when nobody was looking. It finally paid off when I was a sophomore in high school. Other than part of my freshman year in college for the first few games, I never sat the bench again in my playing career. 

That drive has followed me all of my life. Truth be told it really doesn't always work. No matter how hard I worked many churches we have served have not grown. No matter how much I prayed, studied, visited, invited people, or how passionately I preached people did not come. I even knocked on 1,000 doors at one church. It did not make a difference. 

As a youth pastor, I got passed up by bigger churches with bigger salaries. One church even rejected me because I am not skinny. They thought my being overweight meant that I was lazy. Not good enough. Inadequate. The pastor later told me when I was a different church, he regretted the decision to pass on me. 

Now at 58 the facts are in. I am not tall. I am still overweight. On top of all that, my hair began thinning years ago. I decided if that ever happened, I would burr cut it. Not try to hide it with comb overs and other silly tactics. My education level is more than some, but not as much as others. My track record in selling books is dismal. My last book has netted $40 for 2024. Past book signings were utter failures with woefully few people ever coming to get a book. More rejection. 

Drive does not always overcome rejection. The best way I have learned to overcome rejection is to really discover my identity in Jesus. He loves me. He does not reject me. He knows I am inadequate to measure up to sinlessness. He still loves me and chose to take my punishment on the cross. He forever embraced me. He included me as one of His sheep. He does not look at stature, balding hair, or other things that people reject others for. He loves unconditionally. He embraces me when I succeed or when I fail. He loves me when I am walking in holiness and even when I fall into sin. My worth is forever settled on the cross and Jesus' willingness to die for me. On that day, He declared for all time that I was not rejected. Hallelujah. 

I am sure I will still face rejection in this world. My self-worth is not tied to that. I am a child of God. Blood bought. Redeemed by the blood of the Lamb. Forgiven. A new creature. In the process of sanctification. My name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life. I have a reserved seat at the marriage supper of the Lamb. With Jesus I belong. You can too.