Living in the Present

 I visited with one of our senior adult ladies last night. We talked about life and getting older. I asked if she ever dreamed she would be where she is right now. She responded that her whole life she just lived in the present moment she was in. What a great way to live. 

There are plenty of people stuck in the past. They live their lives looking back over their shoulder at the good old glory days. The recall life when they were foot loose and fancy free in high school or college. The recount exploits they accomplished. You may especially see this in former athletes. They make themselves to be legends in their own minds. The tales get larger with time. 

On the other hand, there are people who live with past regrets. They cannot forgive themselves for a sinful blunder, a moral failure, or a very poor decision that resulted in painful consequences. I agree with the adage that we should learn from our mistakes. We cannot go back and undo them. Why waste the time pining away in regret and remorse. It is a waste of energy. Paul exhorts us to forget what lies behind and to reach forward to what lies ahead. [Phil 3:13] The past is in the past. We cannot recapture it. Yesterday is gone forever no matter how much nostalgia it still holds. 

There are other people who are wide-eyed dreamers. They live in the future tense. They are so focused on what they are going to do one day when they get around to it that they miss out on life right in front of them. Parents do this trying to make money and then one day realize the kids are grown and out of the house. They miss out of those wonderful bonding memories of early childhood all the way up to graduation from high school. 

Some dream so much about what they are going to do, but they never get around to doing it until it is too late. They are oblivious to the mercies and blessings of God all around them. They chase after the next dream, get rich quick scheme, or promotion. There is nothing wrong with having vision and pursuing goals. Not to the point of missing life in the here and now. If a person dreams but never does, they will waste a great of their life.

It is rare to find someone content to live in the present. These people age well. They do not try and hide their age with fashionable clothing more fit for teens than senior adults. They own their age with silver hair, wrinkles, and a few aches and pains to boot. Like Paul they learned to be content in whatever circumstances they are in at the moment. [Phil 4:11] It is a treasure to find people who enjoy life no matter what age they are. Singles who enjoy being single and the freedom to follow God on mission without the restraints of a family. Students who make the most of learning instead of wanting to hurry up and be grown and get into the work force. People starting their careers in entry level positions who are content to work faithfully where they are instead of striving to climb the ladder. Retired people who are not grumpy ranting about their dislikes. Middle agers who are not going through life altering mid-life crisis. 

Living in the present is a gift. For instance, it is nearing the end of a very productive day. I could shut it all down and call it done. Living in the present meant capturing that memory from last night and corralling those thoughts into words. I still have seven minutes before 5:00 p.m. Soon my bride of 33 years will walk through our front door. It really does not matter what we do tonight. I want to live in the present and just enjoy her company. A blessing I do not want to take for granted. 

Increase Our Faith

 Who wouldn't want stronger faith? Who does not need a more potent faith to cope with day-to-day challenges? In Luke 17:5 the apostles asked Jesus to increase their faith. Is that a prayer that we also need to pray?

The word increase in that passage means to add, be brought further, given more, and to proceed. For whatever measure of faith, we have today, we could all use more. We need God to add to our faith. To take us further in faith than we have been before. Give us more and more to match the challenges of life. To proceed further in life and kingdom causes than we could ever go in our own strength. 

Muscles grow and are strengthened when they are repeatedly put under stress. That is why track athletes train vigorously running to strengthen their legs and increase their lung capacity. The stress is not pleasant when going through it, but the return is optimal performance in competition. 

The same principle is true for lifting weights. The more stress the muscles endure the bigger they grow and the stronger they become. I teach a weightlifting class. The principle is simple. I do not repeat the same workouts for each class. I design the workouts to continually shock and strain muscles to do something that forces them to work harder. The end result is those muscles grow, and strength grows to lift heavier weights. 

If we really want God to increase our faith, we must be willing to have faith strained and stressed in a series of tests. We do not like these challenges. As we age, we want a more comfortable and secure life. We certainly do not want to have to exercise faith to endure some new challenge. That is the way faith is increased. With each challenge and prayerful belief for God to see us through the challenge, faith increases and grows stronger. In time, we are able to handle greater challenges because our increased faith believes God is able to handle each challenge before us no matter how daunting. We can look back on His past faithfulness to bolster faith for future answers. 

Do we really want the Lord to increase our faith? I certainly do. I am facing numerous faith challenges ahead. I can see them on the horizon. I can doubt and give into fear. Or I can flex that faith God has increased and challenged for the past three decades. Some of these challenges are big. I see no solution in my own resources. I'm not tapping into my resources. I am trusting God to do something miraculously marvelous. My favorite part of that cycle is when I get to sit behind this computer tapping the keys to brag on God or stand behind a pulpit and testify about what He has done. 

O Lord, we plead that you increase our faith. Give us more and more. Help us not shy away from the process to get that increase. May you be glorified by all the answers to prayer. 

Free?

 Martin Luther Jr. stood at the mall in Washington, D.C. and proclaimed his famous "I Have A Dream," speech. He worked toward racial equality. He wanted people to experience freedom. Liberty. Deliverance from racism and segregation. He worked tirelessly for it. 

Can people live in a land of freedom and not be free? You could be a citizen of the United States and yet be incarcerated. In that case, such people would not live in freedom. There are others who live in bondage day in and day out. Bondage to all sorts of things like fear, anxiety, addiction, and the opinions of others people. These people live in a land of freedom but are not free themselves. 

There are many Christians who do not live in freedom. Even though Jesus offers freedom. 

John 8:32–36 (NASB95)

³²and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” 

³³They answered Him, “We are Abraham’s descendants and have never yet been enslaved to anyone; how is it that You say, ‘You will become free’?” 

³⁴Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is the slave of sin. 

³⁵“The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son does remain forever. 

³⁶“So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed.

Such live in bondage. They are enslaved. They wear invisible chains shackling them to some emotion, sin, or thought that enslaves them like a prisoner. Christians under bondage work feverishly to keep their bondage a secret for fear of being judged. Satan loves to hold people hostage by their secret sins. 

It saddens me how many live in bondage to something. It is pornography for many men. It is a poor self image for many women. It is bondage to the opinions of people for some. Others battle the bondage of the will to continue doing things that displease God. Multitudes are in bondage to depression. Many are in bondage to addiction. A slavery they cannot seem to escape. 

Can such people be liberated? Jesus said they could. He said He could make people free. To deliver them from bondage. To break the chains. To set at liberty those held captive. [Luke 4:18-19]. Is this really true? Can we really expect people who are enslaved to sin to be set free? I certainly think it is. I know Jesus has the power to do what He says. Do we believe Him and take Him at His word? We need to see this again.  People delivered from demonic bondage. 

The fact is most people who are in bondage do not trust anyone enough to cry out for help. I get it. Christians can be gossiping judgmental immature husks of Jesus followers. It is understandable why those in bondage do not trust those in the church. Therefore, the cycle of bondage continues from one generation  to the next. Generational curses continue passed down for decades and even centuries. It appears freedom is out of reach when the truth is it is there for the taking by faith. When Jesus sets a person free, they will actually be free. This is good news. No, it is great news. May we walk in the freedom Jesus purchased for us. 

Bed Bugs

 I visited with a man in the hospital today. He is recovering nicely from his illness, but still grieves the loss of his wife several months ago. They were married 44 years. They were just teenagers when they married. People thought they were crazy kids. Truth is they were crazy in love and remained in love until she died of cancer. Her loss has been difficult for him to get over. 

We visited for a long time. He did most of the talking. I listened. Then he told me a story that I just had to get down for others to read. A story about bed bugs of all things. 

The story starts with him visiting his mother in law in a care facility. She brought something to him on a napkin and asked if he could identify what it was. He identified a bed bug. He went in to investigate her bed closer and sure enough those little creatures were everywhere. 

He told her to wrap a few belongings in a garbage bag and to come stay with him until the property owners could rectify the situation. The man testified God was in those bed bugs. He was so depressed he could not function. Memories of his wife were everywhere in the home. He sat there alone for weeks weeping his eyes out. 

God used the bed bugs to get his mother in law to come stay with him. God used the tiny vessels of beg bugs to send a minister to stay with him in his grief. He needed someone but was not going to ask for help. He knew she was also grieving the loss of her daughter and the loss of her husband six years ago. He believes God orchestrated the beg bugs to get his mother in law to come minister to him in this season. She is still there because the beg bugs are still in her assisted living apartment. 

How much does God care about His children? Enough to send bed bugs? Enough to send fleas? When Corrie ten Boon and her family were arrested by the Nazis and thrown into Jewish concentration camps, the conditions were miserable. It did not take long before her and her sister discovered the barracks they stayed in were infested with fleas. They could not sleep at night from the hundreds of bites and clawed their skin trying to find relief. If their imprisonment was not enough misery, they had to add the madding torment of fleas. This turned out to be a blessing in disguise. 

Because the fleas were so rampant the guards seldom came into their barrack. When they smuggled a Bible inside, it went undiscovered for a long time because the fleas kept the guards away. God comforted those women in torturous conditions with His word, and they were unafraid because they knew the guards feared getting the fleas personally, so they stayed away. 

How much does God care? Is He concerned about the minute details? He is concerned enough about the well being of His children that He will use a bed bug and a flea to accomplish His purposes. Remember that the next time you are inconvenienced. God might just use your inconveniences to show how much He cares. 

Teach Me to Pray

 In Luke 11:1 the disciples asked something of Jesus that I also asked of Him this morning. They asked Jesus to teach them to pray. I asked Him to teach me to pray. That may sound odd for a man who has devoted himself to prayer, preached on prayer, taken prayer retreats, written two books on prayer, and been a part of many prayer meetings. I still asked Jesus to teach me to pray this morning. I know I really am not that good at it and have so much to learn. 

A recent survey indicated that people who pray do so an average of 18 minutes a day. This is an average meaning some pray longer and others shorter. Out of a 24-hour period in a given day and night cycle, 18 minutes does not seem that long. That leaves 23 hours and 42 minutes. I do not even want to focus on the longevity of our praying. That is not the point. 

The point is out of those 18 minutes of praying for most people, are they praying effectively? Are they locked in with laser focus? Do they really communicate with God or are they just mouthing meaningless repetitious phrases? 

I can only look at me. I know I am not the man of prayer that God wants me to be. I have not been that man for decades. I have tried. There have been seasons when prayers increased, I got highly motivated, and I really felt connected with God. It never lasted like I hoped it would. There have been other seasons when I did not even want to pray, and I certainly did not pray effectively. I am tired of the roller coaster ride in my prayer journey. 

Prayer is way more complicated than most people think. There are multiple facets to prayer. Like worship, seeking, petitioning, listening, interceding, thanksgiving, mountain moving prayer, spiritual warfare, and praying in the Spirit. Prayer is very complex. The simple version is it is just talking with God. The deeper version is we need to explore all types of prayer and devote ourselves to learning how to pray more effectively. 

Do we even have the desire to learn how to pray better? Do we want the Lord to teach us to pray? I do and the first thing I need Him to teach me is to have the consistent desire to pray. To want to meet with Him. My flesh fights against going deeper in prayer because it requires more focus and more time. I need to learn to pray with faith. In other words, to learn to pray with greater confidence. To pray securing God glorifying answers. 

Many of my prayers feel more like babble than boldness before the throne of grace. [Heb 4:16] I am need of private tutoring. Personal training from the Prince of Peace. I know I cannot get to the next level on my own. No matter how many prayer books I read or write. If I am to ever learn how to pray, Jesus must teach me, empower me, discipline me, and help me. What about you?

I can only imagine how my life, family, ministry, and the church would change if I really learned how to pray. I cannot imagine how churches, communities and countries would change with people learning how to really pray. Learning to touch the heart of God in prayer. Learning to believe His promises. Learning to persevere in prayer against all odds. 

Lord, as sincerely as I know how I ask You to teach us how to pray. We ask You instruct us. To give us the hearts of eager students. Please personally train each of us to pray better with greater effectiveness. We ask for more than an emotional high that will wear off. We ask for a righteous resolve that will stand the test of time. We ask You to fuel our prayers with renewed faith. To increase that faith to match the assignments You put before us. Please Lord, teach us to pray because we believe it is Your will and pleases You when we devote ourselves to pray as You did. In Your name Jesus, I ask. Amen. 

A Massive Read

 Jess Little Sr. is a retired pastor friend of mine. He is 78 and still preaches every chance he gets. I never knew anyone personally who owned more books than he did. Thousands. He invited me to preach in his church numerous times. I used to sit in his office admiring all those books. I confess I coveted some of them. When he retired, he blessed me with thousands of those books. They are priceless to me. Not just because many of them are out of print, but more importantly because he gave them to me. He has been like a father to me for several decades. 

He is always recommending new books to me. He recently told me about this book I just had to get a copy of for myself. Little did I know that book was a mere 850 pages of heavy theological treatise. Months back he purchased a book for me written in the 1600's. That little book of 656 pages was considered one of the most influential books by Leonard Ravenhill who was one of my spiritual heroes. I have not read that one. Now a book of 850 pages! Daunting to say the least. 

I am more used to tackling books of 150-200 pages. On some occasions, I might wade through a biography or autobiography of 300 plus pages. I cannot say I have ever attempted to read a book of 850 pages. The book is called Theology for Today  by Elmer Towns. I started plowing through it and made it all the way to page 14. Only 836 more to go. 

I love to read. One of the last things I do each night before going to bed is to read. Typically I fall asleep trying to get through a chapter. I am not a fast reader. I wish I read faster. I am a plodder. I plod through books a little at a time. Typically I am reading several volumes at the same time. I start one and get bored and then move onto something else and then go back to the original book. 

I determined recently to finish all the books I started before moving on. I finally whittled it down to one  and now this massive hardback. I have never read anything that massive before. I did once read a book of 813 pages over the course of several years, but skipped a few chapters that did not interest me. 

I used to gut out each book I started from start to finish even if my mind wandered in the middle of it. It was a competitive goal to finish. I have a new motto. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO READ A BORING BOOK. There are so many great ones to be digested. 

I am no intellectual giant. Many times I have shied away from deeper books that make you think. It is work to comprehend these printed publications. Well, I am not getting any younger. There is still so much to discover. So I am tackling this massive read. I am sure I will put it down from time to time for something easier and lighter. I am resolved that I will read it. ALL OF IT. Even if it takes me the rest of my life. I may drown in that sea of words. I am sure I will be over my head before long. It will be good for me. A way to exercise and stretch the mind. A way to challenge my soul. In the end, I hope it brings me closer to the God I love. 

I Wonder

 Brenda bought me a book for my birthday. The book was used. Today when I turned to open the front cover, I noticed some handwriting on the inside. Turns out the previous owner of this book was a lady named Madeline from Pennsylvania. That set my mind to wondering. She even included her address with the notation, "Return to..." She must have treasured this book enough to want it back if she let others borrow it. I wonder how it ended up in my hands. Did she sell it? Did she lend it to someone and they sell it? I don't know. I just know Brenda purchased it online and now the book is in my possession. I wonder how much enjoyment Madeline got from the book over the years. 

I assure this is not a book you will find on the top most popular books list. It is a heavy theology book written in 2002 by a college professor. I wondered what sort of woman would be interested in such a book. Is she a housewife so devoted to God she wants to learn more? What motivated Madeline to purchase this book? Is she a teacher in her local church and used the book for help in teaching truth? Is she a college professor herself and used the book in her teaching material? Perhaps a high school teacher at a Christian School. So much I do not know. Did Madeline have a family? Is she married and have children? How old is she? 

I wonder if she is even alive. Did some relative find this book and put it up for sale after she deceased having no use for it themselves. As they say, one person's junk is another person's treasure. There is evidence that Madeline did read the book for I have discovered yellow hi lighted selections. I wonder about her quest to discover truth and deepen her understanding of Bible doctrine. 

I wonder about Madeline's salvation. When did she meet Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior? How did God show Himself faithful to her after that salvation encounter? I wonder how many other people she introduced to Jesus along her life journey. I wonder if she grew up in wealth and privilege or in poverty. I wonder what her favorite subjects were in school? Did she graduate from high school? Did she go on to pursue studies in college and graduate school? 

I wonder what passions consume Madeline. If she is still alive, I wonder about her devotional habits. I wonder if her Bible is tattered and worn from use. I wonder if she is a devout prayer warrior. I wonder if she even still resides at the address on the inside cover of that book. I wonder if I will meet Madeline in heaven. Our only connection being a relationship with God and this book. I wonder. 

Whatever reason for Madeline parting with this book, I am thankful to her for making it available to me as a gift from my wife. Madeline must be quite a lady. I wish I knew more about her. Today, I can only wonder. 

Why Do You Call Me Lord?

 And why do you call Me, "Lord, Lord," and do not do what I say? [Luke 6:46] NAS

The word lord can also be translated as master and owner. Jesus said, why do you call me Master and owner and do not do I what I say? That stings a little. If we really take an inventory of our spiritual vitality, we may discover several areas where we are not obeying the Lord. 

We don't have to look far. 

          And He said to him, “ ‘YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND. New American Standard Bible: 1995 Update (La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation, 1995), Mt 22:37.

Can we really say that we love God with all of our being? Are there people or things in our lives we love more than the Lord. This saying was in response to the question asked of Jesus as to which was the greatest command. In other words, which of the commandments is foremost, the chiefly important. Simple. Love God first and most. Are we doing that? Do we love God at such a depth that we do not have capacity to love Him anymore than we already do? 

I know I love God. Do I have the capacity to love Him even more? I believe I do. There are still untapped places in my mind where other things have taken root. There are places in my heart that have been closed off to Him. There are passions in my life that try to compete for His affection. I know I have not have always given Him my best effort in devotions and in service. Sometimes I am lazy. This verse points out areas in my life where I am not doing what Jesus says. 

What about...

Luke 6:41–42 (NASB95)

          41      “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 

          42      “Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother’s eye.

It is easy for me to criticize others. To hold them to a high standard. To scrutinize their lives while ignoring areas in my own life. The person that I have the biggest problem with on a day-to-day basis is the guy I see when I look in the mirror. That person gives me the most trouble. I can be impatient, harsh, unkind, abrasive, foolish, driven, and did I mention impatient. I can be overly competitive, quick to anger, filled with doubts, a person of small faith, keep account of wrongs done to me, and more. 

What business do I have to scrutinize someone else's life when my life is not in order. It is easy to nitpick others while giving grace to ourselves. We should meticulously pick our lives apart uncovering and uprooting sin instead of getting caught up in pointing out the faults in others. 

We have only looked at two passages and our failures doing what Jesus says is evident. Need I go further? We get the point. We are not nearly as spiritual as we think we are. Each of us has blind spots that we are unaware of or unwilling to acknowledge. 

I could point out pride. God is opposed to the proud. [James 4:6] I am a proud man. That means God has often opposed me to break me. That has not been a pleasant path. The school of brokenness is one in which I have advanced knowledge. My stubborn pride has hurt me more than once. From time to time, it still surfaces. Like trying to argue when someone points out a wrong, I have done. There are times when I do not humble myself to Brenda or my sons and tell them I was wrong. The conviction of the Holy Spirit can work heavily to bring me to repentance in such cases. Many times, I have returned to them with tail tucked between my legs asking for forgiveness. I bet I am not the only one who deals with pride. 

Here is the point. Most of us are not as high and spiritual as we may appear to be publicly. Do we sit before the Lord with open Bible and let Him do precision surgery on our hearts and attitudes? We need to do this on a regular basis if we call Jesus Lord and Master. The proof will be if we do what He says. 

The Salute

 Our second son, Tanner, is a GA coach for the Wayland Baptist University Pioneers. They played Nelson University in Waxahachie on Saturday. It is the closest opponent to us all season and we have not seen Tanner since back in the summer for a couple of days, so we went to the game. 

There were all the usual pregame rituals. The teams warmed up. Starting lineups were introduced. The teams went to midfield for the coin toss. Then we stood for the opening prayer and the national anthem. I almost did not notice him. Seated one section over from us and down on the front row stood a silver haired senior adult man. While most of us stood with our hands over our hearts, he stood at attention saluting the flag. The sight of this man saluting the flag with the utmost respect moved me. I deduced that he must have been in the military at some point. 

The national anthem meant something more to him than to most in the stands that day. I contemplated the time he spent in the grind of basic training. I wondered if he was a combat veteran. Seeing this aged veteran not in the best of health, but still with fierce loyalty to this country was inspiring. Navigating the steps to sit higher seat was too difficult so he and his wife opted to sit on the front row. Not a very good vantage point to the see the game with people obscuring the view as they scurried back and forth to the bathroom and concession stand. His feeble body did not keep him from standing at attention saluting the flag in respect for this country. 

In that man's life span, I can only guess how he must feel watching the destructive implosion of the United States. A country whom he gave his allegiance. To defend the country against all enemies foreign or domestic. I do not see such respect for country among all people. 

Many that day stood up but did not hold their hands over their heart. In a country where athletes took a knee during the national anthem, this man was a stark contrast. His body may have aged long past his prime, but he stood proudly erect in honor of a flag that means a great deal to him. He did not care what other people thought about him. He was locked in. Solely focused on that waving flag on that October afternoon. He was totally oblivious to the fact that I was even watching him. He inspired renewed patriotism in me. 

The United States is not a perfect country. It is still my country. One I love. I still swear allegiance to the flag like I was taught to do in grade school. I am still grateful to be a citizen of this country and to fight for the soul of this nation in a spiritual battle. Like the old soldier, I too salute. I salute God first, family, His church, and my country. I do not want to take the blessing of being born in this nation for granted. It is a gift I want to treasure well. 

Nothing Will Be Impossible

 For nothing will be impossible for God. [Luke 1:37] NASU 1995

The context of this verse is when Gabriel appeared to Mary and informed her that she would conceive the miracle incarnate Messiah by the Holy Spirit. How could a teenage girl even contemplate this in her wildest imaginations. It seemed far fetched. That is when God spoke through Gabriel and informed her that nothing is impossible with God. 

Just a few verses earlier we learn that Mary's cousin Elizabeth was barren and in her old age. It seemed all hope was lost that she would ever have a child of her own. That is until Gabriel met her husband in the temple and revealed that Elizabeth would conceive and they would have a son named John who would turn people to the Messiah. We know that son as John the Baptist. 

Nothing is impossible with God. Do we believe it? Do we pray like we are convinced this is true? I read Luke 1:37 seated alone in a favorite breakfast spot this morning. That word impossible means unable, powerless, cannot do. What is God unable to do? Name the things He is powerless to perform. List the things He cannot do. He can do all of it. Anything He wants. He is not limited in power, resources, or wisdom. 

Nothing is impossible with God. When I read that this morning, I jotted some things in my journal. Some things that would appear pretty impossible to mortal man. I am not leaning on mortal man. I am leaning on eternal God. The God who created the universe with spoken words. The God who parted the Red Sea for Moses and Israel. The God who helped a shepherd boy defeat a giant warrior champion. The God who sent fire out of heaven for Elijah to consumed the sacrifices. The God who sent the Messiah to be born in a manger. The God who became flesh and dwelt among men in Jesus. The God who healed diseases and raised the dead. The God who resurrected Jesus from the dead. 

We either believe this or we don't. If we believe we will pray some bold prayers and take some bold steps of faith. We will witness God do great things. We will continually testify of these great things He does. Marriages will be healed. Diseases cured. Lives transformed. A nation bowed in repentance. Churches will be planted. The gospel will be proclaimed in foreign lands. His provision will fund kingdom causes. We have only scratched the surface of some of the things God can do. 

What do you need Him to do for you? Restore a broken relationship. Provide a financial need. Open a closed door. Make a way where it looks impossible to travel. Move a mountain. Go ahead and take God at His word. I did. I am praying like nothing is impossible with God. I hope you will do the same. 

Amazing Grace

 I guess if you talk to many of the older generation, the majority will say among their favorite old hymns Amazing Grace is at or near the top. The words of that classic anthem are timeless. They have been sung in worship services, revival meetings, camps, and funerals. 

The grace of God is truly amazing. I will be the first to admit that life has hardships and sorrows. If were really honest, don't we have it better than we deserved? God has not allowed us to always experience the full potential consequences of our sin. Where He could have poured out wrath, He often pours out grace instead. It is understandable how John Newton could feel so overwhelmed by the grace of God. He wrote these words and ministered to millions through them. 

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace, my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see

 I feel the weight of those words penned by a former slave ship captain who knew about sin. God washed Newton in the tide of His loving grace bringing him safely ashore to salvation. God found the captain of the high seas and made Him a vessel testifying of amazing grace. Undeserved. Unmerited. Unattainable except by faith. Always amazing. 

This grace comforts and relieves fears of eternal damnation. This unmerited favor of God is held precious by those whom Jesus has saved. Not just an adequate grace, but an amazing grace. So amazing that we will never tire of rejoicing and praising God for it even after 10,000 years of practicing. It is a chorus we will sing for all eternity. 

Sometimes amid the hustle and bustle of life it is easy to forget about this amazing grace. When we win victory after victory and are soaring on high it is easy to forget what wretches we are. Just when we are riding high, we can blow it. A careless word. A sinful action. A moral mishap. A blatant blunder of God's laws. We all do it. We all fall and sin. We all fall short. In those moments it is both comforting and reassuring that God still loves us and still lavishes grace on us. 

I know it has been said countless times down through the ages. Others have said it far more eloquently than I can. It has been the theme of books, sermons, studies, and songs. His grace is still amazing. 

What's Wrong

 I noticed the body language of a teenage girl in our Bible study last night. It was obvious she was struggling with something. I stopped the study and asked if she was alright. She indicated that she was fine. I didn't buy it. I went back to teaching anyway. She was not herself. Not engaged. Distracted. Hurting. 

We finished our study, and I asked the girl again if she was okay. She said she was, but I looked in her eyes and told her that I did not believe her. The easy thing to do would have been to take her at her word and dismiss the group in prayer. I felt impressed to persist. Then the truth came out. She told us a friend of hers had recently been shot in the metroplex. I asked how the friend was doing, and she teared up saying he died. An 18-year-old young man another victim to a senseless murder. We prayed for the heartbroken girl in our group. 

If you read the room, you will often notice people who are not doing well. You can see it on their countenance. You can witness it in their body language. If you listen closely, you will even hear it in their voice. People are hurting. They carry heavy burdens. They struggle with mental health. They have broken hearts. These people need ministry but will seldom ask for it. If you do not pay attention, you may miss them. You can be so self-absorbed that you fail to notice those who struggle around you. Jesus noticed struggling people all the time. He made time to notice. He took the time to get involved and to minister to such people. 

Face the facts. Getting involved with struggling people can be inconvenient. It might take a little time to listen. It may require some heavy seasons of intercession. It might require some difficult conversations. It might require you to get your mind off your own problems for a while to help someone else with theirs. These are things we are supposed to do. 

Jesus stopped to help the leper in Matthew 8:1-3. He helped the man with the withered hand in Mark 3:1-5. In Mark 3:9-11, He healed many and cast out demons from others. In Mark 5 He cast out a demon from a man living in a cemetery, healed a woman who had been sick for 12 years, and then raised a 12-year-old girl from the dead. None of these incidents was convenient. 

Jesus has something we do not. He is omniscient. He knows everything. He does not have to ask anyone what is wrong. He already knows. Because we do not know everything we have to ask. Do we care enough to ask people around us what they are struggling with? Do we love enough to persist if they do not tell us the truth? A lot of people could be helped if we just ask the two-word question, "What's wrong?" If we want to be like Jesus, we will ask that question and help people in His name. 

World Gone Crazy

 Everywhere I look the world is going crazy. I cannot think of one specter of society where turmoil is the rule of the day. I cannot even stomach to watch the main news outlets anymore. I am fast losing interest at keeping up to date with alternative news sources I have used for years to keep informed about current affairs. It is all so disheartening. 

Let me start with politics. I am so disgusted and ashamed by politicians in BOTH parties. They no longer represent the best interests of the United States. Key players in both parties legislate laws that are not designed to help our citizens. I cannot for the life of me understand why our government would give hundreds of millions of dollars to people around the world or who have entered our country illegally but not help those devastated by the recent hurricanes. It does not make sense. I have heard multiple reports about supplies that are donated to hurricane victims being confiscated and given to sanctuary cities. Does that make any sense? 

What sense does it make to give illegals housing and money to live on while our own citizens face needs. In what world does it make sense to allow illegal aliens to vote in elections. That very thing is planned right here and now. What sense does it make to let terrorists come across our borders and to allow children to be sex trafficked while little is done to stop it. It is a world gone crazy. 

I have said this numerous times, and I will say it again today. The government has turned against us in many areas. Key globalists leaders are bent on one thing. The destructive killing of hundreds of millions of people through vaccines, pandemics, wars, and other ways. Few listen. They remain glued to ABC, NBC, CBS, and even FOX for their news narratives. It has been proven over and over again these news outlets lie and misinform the people. They insist the 2020 presidential election was the safest in history. Multiple facts that are suppressed by the news outlets hide the truth. It is a world gone crazy. 

The justice system has been used as a weapon to stop political opponents. There is no longer justice for all. There is justice for the side who can stack the deck of judges, jurors, and attorneys. Organizations like the FBI, CIA, and Secret Service have demonstrated they cannot always be trusted. Few want to believe this. It is a world gone crazy. 

Move onto education. Right before our eyes history is revised and rewritten as false facts are taught to students. Liberal ideologies are introduced at young ages in the classroom to reshape the way students view the world. The homosexual and transgender way of life is taught as normal. It is also pushed on students to identify with this lifestyle. If concerned parents voice their concerns to the local school boards, the Attorney General of the United States labeled such parents as domestic terrorists. It is a world gone crazy. Many students tell me that their schools are more and more pagan. The darkness is deepening, and many Christians are hiding the light of Jesus inside out of fear. Schools are no longer safe places. Students are treated like lab test animals to experiment with teaching different philosophies. It is going south. Even in private Christian schools the hypocrisy among faculty and students is noticeable. The salt has lost it flavor and the light is fading. It is a world going crazy. 

Look at the agriculture industry and the Food and Drug Administration. Certain poisons are allowed on our foods through pesticides, chemtrails from airplanes, and genetic modifying of foods. Scientists have disrupted the natural order God created and people are paying the consequences. Look at some of the drugs prescribed. Take a study about the harmful effects of many vaccines. The data proves the world has gone crazy. The people who are supposed to protect us, treat us, heal us, and protect our food sources do not always have our best interest at heart. It is world gone crazy. 

While I could go on, let me just focus on one more aspect of society. This hits close. The church is not immune from criticism. While people paste plastic smiles on their faces in local churches let me be truthful what often happens behind the scenes. There are blatant powerplays. Manipulation to be in charge. Evil practices employed to be in influential leadership positions by both preachers and parishioners. Some pastors are dictators acting like the Chief Executive Officer rather than the shepherd of the flock. Other parishioners oppose pastoral leadership and handcuff them with their policies and procedures. Hypocrisy is running rampant in the pew and behind the pulpit. I am grieved to hear about upstanding respected church members committing adultery. The same is true of pastors who cannot keep their penis in their pants and bring shame on the name of Christ. Churches operate like businesses for profits instead of serving the least of these. Many congregations are made up with lukewarm apathetic members who sicken the stomach of Jesus. Preachers are cowards in the pulpit reluctant to offend Mr. Big Bucks and Mrs. Gossip Leader with hard hitting Bible truth. Many churches have little to no influence on the communities they are called to minister in. The good news of the gospel is often a well-kept secret among many Christians instead of shared in the highways and byways among those who need to hear it most. It is a world gone crazy. God help us. 

This is not the first time in history a society has strayed from the Savior. God has chastised such nations in the past and I fear we are headed for some dire times ahead. We can still repent. We can still turn to God and plead for mercy. We do not deserve it, but who knows. Maybe God will have compassion. Maybe He will turn this world gone crazy upright again and bring people back to Him. Maybe God will give us a little more time before the Great Tribulation sets in and the rapture comes. If not, we have not seen just crazy this world can get. 

My Mountain Mover

 Many mountains I see on my path ahead, 

Mountains preferred avoided desired instead, 

The mountains looming impossible to surpass,

Requiring perseverance and a faith steadfast, 

I need Almighty God to be my mountain mover, 

No matter the number or the mountain grandeur, 

I come with a tiny mustard seed of simple belief, 

Seeking a miracle of impossibilities a path of relief,

Nothing is impossible to One so strong in power, 

No matter the deadline or how delayed the hour, 

You are a miracle worker my trusted miracle maker, 

Not a blessed assurance covenant promise breaker, 

I stand on Bible truth and your promise declarations, 

Ushering in new testimonies of joyous faith celebrations. 

Woefully Inadequate

 I want to state right from the start that my vocabulary is woefully inadequate to write this post. I will do the best I can, but the English language will fail me. I will trust God and give my best. 

 He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. [II Cor 5:21]

This is one of the simplest expressions of what salvation is. It is also a profound statement of what God did through Jesus to save us. It all started with God the Father. He sent Jesus from Heaven inside the womb of a frightened young girl. Mary gave birth to God's Son and Jesus began His earthly journey. Why would God that. Simple. He loved us. See John 3:16 and Romans 5:8. 

Jesus never sinned. Not in attitude, not a careless word spoken, not an act of rebellion against the laws of God, nor any act of rebellion. Nothing. Jesus lived perfectly. If Jesus had not lived sinlessly, His death on the cross would have been meaningless. His perfection enabled Him to satisfy the wrath of God through His sufferings. Jesus is the only one who could have been the substitute to make atonement for our sins. 

On the cross Jesus took on the sin of humanity. Perfection suffering for imperfect people. He became bearer of our sins. He did not deserve to suffer so much. He did it to pay our debt we could never pay. In exchange for our sin, Jesus offers His righteousness. His purity. His right standing with God. Apart from Jesus and His redemptive work on the cross nobody would ever be declared righteous. In Jesus, we are righteous. Not a righteousness of our own. A transferred righteousness. 

I am woefully inadequate to write about this. Woefully inadequate to express my gratitude to God. Woefully inadequate to fully grasp the consequences of what Jesus did for us. Woefully inadequate to spend the rest of my days in service as an act of continuous worship. 

I Don't Have Any Faith

 Those were the words spoken by Nancy (not her real name) yesterday afternoon at our 1Way detox ministry. Her full quote was, " I don't have any faith. I don't know where to go to get this faith. I don't where to begin." She was hard. Yesterday was the first time I met her. My co-worker told me she came once when I was out of town. She did not know where to find Bible passages. We had to give her page numbers. She listened but her statement made me think she had never been saved. 

To address her question, we did an overview of the Bible from creation to the resurrection. We hit the high points from Genesis through Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. We finished up that overview with the Roman road. She was ready to be saved. Jesus had softened her heart and enlightened her to gospel truth. She asked Jesus to save her. When she finished praying, her countenance changed. In addition, three people around her also asked Jesus to save them too. 

I want to state without reservation that Roman 1:14-16 is true.         

          14       I am under obligation both to Greeks and to barbarians, both to the wise and to the foolish. 

          15      So, for my part, I am eager to preach the gospel to you also who are in Rome. 

          16      For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. 

New American Standard Bible: 1995 Update (La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation, 1995), Ro 1:14–16.

I was an eyewitness to the power of God for salvation through the simple gospel message. Sin was revealed and revolted. Resistance was shoved aside in favor of repentance. Jesus took some addicts with sordid pasts and made them clean. I am not suggesting they will never sin or never battle addiction again. I am saying they are forgiven and now children of God. 

I have seen Jesus save many. Individuals and masses. Yesterday was unique. This one woman hung on every word of the Bible overview. The word of God came alive in her heart. I have seldom witnessed a person more eager to ask Jesus to save them. She prayed out loud without shame. I kid you not her countenance changed. One resident said, "Look she is glowing." I hope the Lord keeps letting me see things like that. 

She may have started with no faith and not knowing where to go to get such faith. She sure has it now. Faith starts with a relationship with Jesus. She told me later she grew up Pentecostal. When she was not filled with the Holy Spirit evidenced by speaking in tongues, she became bitter at God and drifted into a life of sin. God brought her into His family yesterday. She is leaving on Tuesday. She is not leaving the same. She is a new creation now. 

Hold Me Jesus

 I am not the man I want to be. I am not the man that God intends me to be. I have dark days when the light of hope is eclipsed by the clouds of despair. There are days when just showing up is the best I can offer. On the other hand, there are other days when my soul soars to new heights. Days when I feel connected to God in communion with Him. There are days when it is easy to take every thought captive in obedience to Christ. There are other days when toxic thoughts choke faith. 

Face it. This world is filled with battles. Daily skirmishes. Sometimes hourly fights in the foxholes of faith. The enemy never stops advancing to take new ground. He does not take days off. He's singularly focused on his mission to oppose God and His work every moment of everyday. Some days we get caught in the crossfire. 

Last night I watched a movie about the life of Rich Mullins. He lived a tormented life. He never received the approval he longed for from his father. His father ridiculed his musical talents and interests. He could never tell Rich he loved him and was proud of him. This haunted Rich most of his life. He met the love of his life in college. The relationship ended when Rich decided to go to Nashville to follow his music dreams. She married another man. Rich struggled with alcohol, cigarettes, and dark depression even as he sang to thousands and made millions of dollars with his music. He hated the popularity. 

He identified with ragamuffins. Dirty, outcast, dressed in ragged clothes. Rich typically wore a plain white t-shirt, tattered blue jeans, and often went around barefoot. He went on drinking binges. He never fit in with the contemporary Christian music industry. He was often at odds with his record label over the music he wrote. He refused to write songs just to make money. He chose to live on the salary of an average American giving the rest of his money away. He lived on an Indian reservation in Arizona in his last days when he was not touring. He died in a tragic car wreck while he was in the prime of life. 

He wrote a prayer song to God born out of his own struggles. He wrote:

Well, sometimes my life just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

So hold me, Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't you be my Prince of Peace?

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

So hold me, Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't you be my Prince of Peace?

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what you give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

I'm singing hold me, Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't you be my Prince of Peace?

I'm singing hold me, Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't you be my Prince of Peace?
You have been King of my glory
Won't you be my Prince of Peace?

I have felt that way. It's hard to make sense out of a lot of things in my life. The mountains are so big and sometimes my faith is so small. This is one of those times. I stayed up well past 3:00 a.m. watching that movie and praying. I need Jesus to hold me. When so many things are crumbling around me, I need Jesus to hold me. I feel like I beat my head against the same old walls. 

I am thankful Jesus holds me on my best days. When everything is going as it should. When blessing flow in abundance. When there is much fruit on the vine. When I am on top of the mountain. Jesus also holds me when I feel alone, when I fail, when I don't understand, and when all my dreams get shattered on the jagged rocks of reality, and when I walk through the valley. 

When I am alone with Jesus, I find peace and strength. He cast out all fears. He picks me up when I fall. He loves me even when my best is not good enough. He does not abandon me in the hard times, nor does He give up on me when I am ready to give up on myself. He still holds onto me in my guilt, shame, regret, failures, pain, sorrows, confusion, and doubts. I am thankful He holds me. He will hold you too. 

Tormented Mind

 Unwelcomed thoughts cloud my mind with confusion,

Each an unwanted and unwelcomed dreadful intrusion, 

The theme playing daily in my head like a record broken,

With the same message of failure the loudest voice spoken, 

Voices reverberate in mental chambers from past echoes, 

You will never measure up no matter how hard you follow, 

I am left to ponder such thoughts in sorrowful meditation, 

Trying to make sense of it all in prayerful contemplation, 

Peace escapes like a wild stallion untamed freely running, 

Left alone with the enemy and his deceitful ways cunning, 

Only in the inerrant scripture do I find help that is reliable, 

Hope is contained in the sacred text of God's holy Bible, 

Help for a mind so tormented as mine with many troubles, 

Ushering in timeless truth and clearing away all the rubble. 

Blinded by the Light

 Brenda and I made a road trip last night. I knew from the outset I would face a challenge on the road. We had two and a half hours of pretty smooth sailing. We took the backroads and encountered very little traffic. We passed through small towns like Jacksboro, Graham, Albany, Anson, Roby, and Snyder heading toward Seminole. We drove past several churches along the way. It was weird not being at our church for our Wednesday evening teaching. 

Then it happened. We drove due west and the sun began sinking. I was blinded by the light. Sunshades and the visor did little to help. At times, Brenda and I both strained to see the road. I was driving blind at times. The radiance of the setting sun was no match for the sunshades. We enjoyed a spectacular sunset last night. That is one of the hi lights of west Texas. Spectacular sunsets and stunning sunrises. 

My attention is drawn to Acts 9 and Paul's encounter with the Lord Jesus on the Damascus Road. The Lord's glory blinded Paul. We cannot even fathom the glory of the Lord. Moses' face shown with illumination after he just saw the backside of God passing by the cleft of the rock. The priests could not even enter the temple when the shekinah glory filled the house of God at Solomon's dedication prayer. Peter, James and John beheld the transfigured glory of Jesus on top of a mountain. The sun is no match for that. In the millennial reign of Jesus His glory will be on full display in the new heaven and the new earth. It will light up the night. 

I am thankful for a visual reminder of the power and glory of the Lord through a common sunset last night. Something I take for granted over and over again. A wonderful reminder of the power and majesty of the God I serve. One day I will be blinded by the light of His presence around His throne hearing the chorus, "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty." Revelation 4:1-12 

The Rooster Crow

 Brenda and I are in Seminole for a funeral. We are staying on a 20,000-acre ranch. This is sacred soil as the last time I stayed here I had a profound encounter with God. That was my aim when I got up this morning. At exactly 5:20 a.m. I heard the rooster crow outside. He proudly gave his cock-a-doodle-doo for at least 30 minutes. 

It has been decades since I have heard the crow of a rooster in the morning. I was awake and seeking the Lord for nearly an hour and a half before he started strutting his stuff. I read Mark 1:35 about Jesus getting up before daylight and departing to an isolated place to pray. That is what this place is. An isolated place to seek God. To listen for His still small voice. To sit still in His presence without feeling rushed to get onto the next event. It has just been the two of us while Brenda rests from the long road trip. 

There is something about those early morning encounters with God. When the world still sleeps and there are no distractions. God meets us in the secret place in those early morning private meetings. He opens His word and speaks living truth into our dry and weary souls. He waits for us there. He longs to give us His fresh revelation of Himself and His ways. 

When you live in the country, you grow accustomed to the rooster's crow. Much like a person who lives near train tracks, you eventually get to the point when you don't hear them anymore. They become white noise. The rooster reminds me this morning that seeking God early is worth it. I confess it hurt a little more than normal to climb out of bed. I am not usually this tired except after a full day of preaching and teaching on Sundays. Brenda and I drove five hours to get here once she got off work. We pulled into the gate at 9:25 last night. We visited with our hosts until after 11:00. That is WAY LATER than I normally go to bed. 

It is worth it. Worth it to sacrifice a little sleep to meet with the Master. If the rooster can get up early to crow, then I should get up early to seek God. It is the best part of my day. What a privilege to get to draw near to Him. What a delight to hear Him speak through the pages of His word. O how He spoke.

We were privileged to spend the night here. I wish we had several nights to slow down and spend some great time with God. I have taken numerous prayer retreats over the years. It has been a year and a half since I took my last one. My schedule just has not allowed me time to get away. That does not mean that I do not get up early to seek the Lord wherever I am. In the living room. Most frequently in my office. Sometimes the prayer room. While the world sleeps and the rooster still rest, I want to be up seeking my God. 

The late Rich Mullins wrote a song called Step by Step. A line in that song captures my attention right now. He wrote, "I will seek You in the morning and learn to walk in your ways. Step by step You'll lead me, and I will follow You all of my days." That is my desire long before the rooster crows. 

The Library

 For months I have driven Brenda to rehab and work. I go to the library waiting for her to get off work to study and to write. Things have changed. When I was a child, we were told to be quiet in the library. If we talked, we did so in hushed whispers. The same was true for high school, college, and seminary. Not in this one. I am barraged with noise. 

Let me say that is no longer the case. Just today, I have heard a toddler throwing multiple temper tantrums. People holding conversations all around me. Seated behind me is a tutor and a student trying to learn math. It has been excruciating trying to write while having to listen to things like square roots and algebraic equations. A real downer. One student left and another is taking her place. Right behind me. There are open spaces with desks and booths all over the place. I was here first. They chose to sit right behind me. I got the opportunity to hear evangelism in action by that tutor. 

I overheard the tutor sharing the gospel with the first student. The student was lost. At one point, I heard her tell the tutor, "If Jesus helps me get math I will believe. I will become a true believer." Later in the conversation when the tutor explained sin, the girl said, "I don't sin." The conversation did not progress about Jesus much past that point. The tutor did say that Jesus came to save us from our sins and not just to help with math. 

The lostness of people around us is overwhelming. Lost people are in every fabric of society. So much of my life can be insulated from lost people as a pastor and working at a Christian school. We can become entrenched in our holy huddles. Jesus did not allow that to happen. Jesus rubbed shoulders with sinners, and they were attracted to Him. We cannot say unbelievers are always attracted to Christians. Many times, they are repulsed from Christians. 

I admire the tutor in the library. She used her platform of teaching math to share the good news of Jesus. Her style was conversational, loving, patient, and far from judgmental. She is keeping the Great Commission according to Matthew 28:19-20. The library has become her mission field. I applaud her efforts. May we all be inspired to follow her example. 

Rejected

 One of the definitions of reject is to dismiss as inadequate. At some point we all are rejected in one way or another. In school by peers who exclude people from their social groups. Some athletes are rejected or cut from the team roster. People are rejected from being accepted in the gifted and talented programs at local schools. 

It hurts to be told or treated as inadequate. This happens as people apply to college or the workforce. People are rejected from enrollment and for jobs. The grades are not good enough. The qualifications are not up to standards for a person to get the job. All rejection. 

In the dating game, people are rejected as potential spouses. One of the common things to say is, "I think we should just be friends." The sting of rejection still hurts. What is much worse is when a spouse tells another spouse that they no longer want to be married to them anymore. Divorce is a harsh form of rejection. 

Over the years I have experienced my share of rejection. On occasion, I still get rejected. People come and visit the church and do not return. Some who attended for lengthy seasons suddenly decide they are going to worship elsewhere. In round about ways, this is like them saying you are inadequate. You are not good enough. While I have learned to roll with it over the years, I would not be telling the truth if I said it did not hurt a little. It does not feel good to be treated like you are not good enough. 

How many of you feel rejected? Dismissed as inadequate? There are several ways to deal with this. You can work to prove yourself. That is how I have often decided to deal with rejection. I guess for me it goes back to my childhood. My mother moved me to a new school where I had no friends. When we went to the playground for recess, most of the boys sequestered to play football. The two most popular boys were team captains. I stood on the fringe wanting to be picked. I was picked. Dead last. My drive and competitive streak kicked in. In football games like this the quarterback only throws the ball to his friends. I ran my patterns to perfection getting open but was never thrown the ball. I knew I was faster than the boy covering me. 

I ran my pattern again and everyone was covered. I was open and finally the ball was thrown to me. I had it all figured out in my mind. I would catch the pass, turn up field, and then score a touchdown proving my worth on the football field. The ball came to my hands and.....bounced right into the dirt. My fate was sealed for the rest of the year. I would always be chosen last and never get the ball thrown to me again. 

The drive to belong as an athlete drove me to push myself in private workouts. When I aged and my friends were out playing and partying, I worked out. Running in the hottest part of the day. Lifting weights in a storage building with no a/c or heat. I sweat in the summers and had to create my own heat in the winters. I climbed the fence at our football stadium to run bleachers. I worked when nobody was looking. It finally paid off when I was a sophomore in high school. Other than part of my freshman year in college for the first few games, I never sat the bench again in my playing career. 

That drive has followed me all of my life. Truth be told it really doesn't always work. No matter how hard I worked many churches we have served have not grown. No matter how much I prayed, studied, visited, invited people, or how passionately I preached people did not come. I even knocked on 1,000 doors at one church. It did not make a difference. 

As a youth pastor, I got passed up by bigger churches with bigger salaries. One church even rejected me because I am not skinny. They thought my being overweight meant that I was lazy. Not good enough. Inadequate. The pastor later told me when I was a different church, he regretted the decision to pass on me. 

Now at 58 the facts are in. I am not tall. I am still overweight. On top of all that, my hair began thinning years ago. I decided if that ever happened, I would burr cut it. Not try to hide it with comb overs and other silly tactics. My education level is more than some, but not as much as others. My track record in selling books is dismal. My last book has netted $40 for 2024. Past book signings were utter failures with woefully few people ever coming to get a book. More rejection. 

Drive does not always overcome rejection. The best way I have learned to overcome rejection is to really discover my identity in Jesus. He loves me. He does not reject me. He knows I am inadequate to measure up to sinlessness. He still loves me and chose to take my punishment on the cross. He forever embraced me. He included me as one of His sheep. He does not look at stature, balding hair, or other things that people reject others for. He loves unconditionally. He embraces me when I succeed or when I fail. He loves me when I am walking in holiness and even when I fall into sin. My worth is forever settled on the cross and Jesus' willingness to die for me. On that day, He declared for all time that I was not rejected. Hallelujah. 

I am sure I will still face rejection in this world. My self-worth is not tied to that. I am a child of God. Blood bought. Redeemed by the blood of the Lamb. Forgiven. A new creature. In the process of sanctification. My name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life. I have a reserved seat at the marriage supper of the Lamb. With Jesus I belong. You can too.