Mud Pies

 There are multiple ways to make a mud pie. You can use water from a puddle to mix with dirt to make them. You can also use a water hose to get water into the dirt. You can even haul water from a faucet to get the ground wet to make mud pies. Out of all the ways you might choose would you choose to use spit? Probably not I am guessing. Spit or saliva as it's properly named is gross. Who would want to handle dirt and spit? Hmmm... Jesus. 

In John 9 Jesus encountered a man who was blind from the day of his birth. Jesus noticed him and then acted. Jesus spit on the ground. I guess it was holy spit. He then worked the spit into some dirt making mud pie paste which He then plastered on the blind man. Some of your stomachs are turning just thinking about this. That certainly was not orthodox. 

What Jesus said next was even more unorthodox. He told the man to go wash in the Pool of Siloam. Some scholars estimate the distance about half a mile from the Temple to the Pool of Siloam. Remember the man could not see. If the distance was not enough of a challenge, it was also a steep descent to the pool. To further complicate matters, the streets were congested with travelers to celebrate a festival. 

The blind man must have stumbled, tripped, and bumped into numerous people on his way. Why did He do it? Each step the blind man took was a step of faith. Each challenge was overcome in the hope that once he washed in the pool he would be healed. People will endure a great deal if they have hoped their endurance will bring about a desired result. 

He must have looked ridiculous staggering along groping for anything to help him keep his balance and find the way. It did not matter that he walked down to that pool with saliva special mud pies caked on his eyes. It did not matter if people stared or whispered. He had one mission to get to the Pool of Siloam and wash. 

Jesus could have healed him instantly. Instead, He chose to heal through a process. He had to work and wait for his healing. I wonder how many reading this can identify. Many are waiting on your healing or your miracle. You are taking steps of faith. You are walking in the belief that Jesus will help you. You are waiting for the miracle to come to fruition. 

Maybe there are some days when doubts eclipse hope like the clouds can eclipse the sun. Maybe you grow weary and lose heart. Keep pressing on. Your miracle could be just around the next bend in the road. Just like the miracle for the blind man was waiting in the water at the Pool of Siloam, your miracle might be waiting at the end of the next prayer, step of faith, or act of obedience. 

Mud pies became miracles in the making. It could be something else for you. Your mud pie could be a Bible promise. A song of hope. A seemingly foolish step of faith in obedience to His instruction. Maybe your miracle will not occur instantly but be more of a process of several steps of faith. It will not matter in the end if God comes through in a powerful way. Will it matter how He does it in the end? Won't we still rejoice in either case? Press on. Keep stepping in faith and trusting our God for the right outcome. 

Scars Tell a Story

 Reading in Acts 16 this morning, I was once again challenged by the examples of Paul and Silas. Their faith was tested and proven under fire. When the heat turned up, they did not turn down on Jesus. In fact, they shone even brighter as heroes of the faith. 

Peter and Silas were arrested for delivering a demon out of a slave girl. This infuriated her masters. They took their complaints to the magistrates who were all too happy to hand out punishment. A beating with rods. Imprisonment and their feet in stocks. 

These two were beaten with bloodied backs exposed to filthy germ invested inner prison. Their feet were shackled in stocks. Everything about this screams discomfort. Search the scriptures and you will not find any whimpering, whining, or weeping. You will not even hear them complaining. If you listen closely, you will hear something else. You will hear them singing hymns of praise to the Lord. 

We complain to God in much less adverse circumstances. It does not take much to set us off on a pity party with God. We maximize our whimpering and minimize our worship when the tough times come. We ask our why questions and make accusations that God does not care. How preposterous that God doesn't care. See John 3:16 and Romans 5:8 and then say God does not care. He forever proved He cares. 

Paul and Silas were beaten and bloodied, but their faith was not broken. They sang through excruciating wounds from their torture. They endured the filth and squalor of their surroundings. They did not defend themselves. They praised in the pain. Acts 16:25 records them doing this at midnight. Things were pretty low in that moment. 

What is your midnight low point? The point when nothing makes sense. Where everything you believe about God is put to the test? To what level are you willing to endure hardship for Jesus and still praise Him? Will you do it with cancer, in the tragic premature death of a family member or close friend, or financial devastation? Will you continue to worship when you have been stabbed in the back by the very people you trusted in your inner circle? Will you continue to sing joyously to the Lord in the midst of chronic illness where good days seldom come, and the agony never ceases? Will you reject bitterness when you are battered and bruised while embracing faith and hope? 

Paul and Silas challenge me. I have complained and cried out unfair in much easier circumstances to my shame. It is so easy to live shortsighted. Paul and Silas were able to live and suffer with the long view of their circumstances. They knew something better awaited them on the other side of the pain at that midnight hour. 

The wounds eventually healed, but the scars remained. Scars are reminders. I see the scar on my right knuckle from knocking a guy's tooth out in a fight. There is a scar on my head from having a plastic chair broken on it. I have a scar where my appendix had to be removed. I added another whopper this summer on my left leg where I fell on Enchanted Rock ripping the flesh causing a deep gash. Each scar tells a story. 

Paul and Silas had scars. Those scars could have reminded them of turning on Jesus in their misery. Abandoning their faith in a crisis hour. Those scars told a far different story. A story of faith and faithfulness. A story of worship in pure sincerity few ever reach on a typical Sunday morning. Those scars testified of a love for Jesus that transcended their own personal comfort or safety. Those scars inspire me all these years later because two servants of God chose to worship rather than whine. I need God's help to follow in their example. What will we do in our midnight crisis hour? Will we quit, throw in the towel, take our hand off the plow, walk away, and turn our backs on the One who placed His back on a cross for us? What story will our scars tell whether they be physical or emotional?  May it never be Lord Jesus. May it never be that we turn on you. 

Titles

 I carry many titles. Pastor. Author. Preacher. President. Mr. Edwards. Coach Edwards. All of those titles mean a great deal to me. 

I take my role as pastor seriously. It is sober calling. I devote myself to all that serving as a pastor entails. Much of it centers around loving people. Caring about the flock is a huge part of my calling. This includes home visits, hospital visits, counseling, praying with people, listening, and leading them. The role of a shepherd/pastor is a huge honor for me. Many years ago I told people that if they could not just call me Matt, I preferred to be called Pastor Matt. It reminds me of my calling to shepherd people. 

I love being an author. It is pure joy to write these posts when the inspiration flows. Writing to me is as second nature as breathing almost. I cannot recall a time in my childhood that I did not want to write after I wrote my first creative writing project. I was hooked. That was nearly 50 years ago. Whether writing a book, poem, or a post for this site, I enjoy communicating through the written word. I am much more effective as a writer than a preacher. People from all over the world read these posts. At last count over 1,400 read on this site yesterday alone. I did not even preach to 100 people in person yesterday. People from countries like Singapore, South Korea, Switzerland, USA, and Spain have visited to read these posts in recent days. 

Some call me preacher. I love proclaiming God's word. It is a delight to expound Bible truths with God's help so that people can understand. Whether preaching on a normal Sunday morning to the flock, or fulfilling a preaching assignment for a meeting or a camp is joyous. I take my role as a preacher seriously. 

I carry the title of President for No Compromise Ministries. A 501 C3 non profit ministry Brenda and I started in 1998. This is the umbrella ministry for all my books, outside preaching ministry, and mission work. it is not nearly as active as it was when we first started. 

I have been Coach Edwards all the way back to my boys playing pee wee sports. In recent years that role expanded to coaching work at two different private schools. Whether coaching football, basketball, P.E. classes weightlifting classes, or summer workouts I enjoy loving students as a coach. Investing in them spiritually has been more important to me than coaching them physically. That is the very reason I coach in the first place. To invest in students To point them toward Jesus. It is an honor to be called Coach Edwards. 

I cherish each of those titles in my life. They are not the ones I cherish the most. Two titles mean more to me than all of those others combined. What are they? Husband and Dad. 

Brenda and I have been married for 33 years. We dated another three years. She has been a part of over half of my life. She is my best friend. We have adjusted to the empty nest. We love to spend our Saturdays together. Some days we just sit at home and watch movies on the television. We have been known to stroll through the Farmer's Market or Gipson's Department Store, a store that reminds both of us of our childhoods. We are more in love today than when we married. We have endured trials and enjoyed triumphs. She completes me. She encourages me. She listens to my dreams and works feverishly to nail down the details to make it happen. She is a tremendous follower of Jesus. I seek her counsel on decisions. We do not always see eye to eye, but through consistent communication we come to compromise and work things out. I enjoy growing older with her. I enjoy the simple things like working out together or making dinner. We also enjoy date nights and the big celebrations like birthdays and anniversaries. 

The fact that I grew up without a father, or even knowing my father, makes the title of Dad all the more special to me. I learned to be a dad with Jennifer first. She is Brenda's youngest sister who came to live with us as a teenager. She was troubled and needed love and discipline. She found both in our home. God instructed me to be a dad to her and I tried. Shortly thereafter, Brenda got pregnant with Taylor. We never dreamed of having a large family. We did not plan for any of our children, but God planned each of them. Not long after Taylor we had Tanner and Tucker in rapid fire succession. Then we bookended the last with Turner. 

I take my role as Dad to heart. I wanted to give my sons what I never had. I supported their activities whether it was a ball team or a field trip. I enjoyed the hours in the yard playing with them. Teaching them to throw and catch a ball. Most importantly to instruct them about Jesus. I was at ball games most of the time. I made special time for each son. Something I still enjoy doing today. I often take one of them out to eat alone to talk when they are home. It is special time we started doing when they were youngsters. Now that they are men the conversations are different but the enjoyment on my part is just the same. I listen to their dreams, offer counsel when they ask, and encourage them. They are all grown and out of the house. Taylor is married and has his own family. Tanner and Tucker are finishing up post graduate studies in their chosen fields. Turner is a senior in college and will graduate in May. We very seldom are all together as a family under one roof anymore these days. It is pure joy when we are. 

Husband and Dad mean more to me than pastor, author, preacher, president or coach. I am thankful to God for those relationships. Just having Brenda and my children make me a wealthy man beyond measure. 

God's Connection

 A bone tired traveller was exhausted from days of traveling and trying to sleep in strange places for his job. The fatigue won out over the the strange surroundings as the weary traveler drifted off to sleep. Getting a full night of sleep was a luxury he looked forward to getting. He went to bed with a lot on his mind. Confusing thoughts clouded his mind. Decisions had to be made. Several opportunities had closed on moving forward. He was unsettled about future direction. Subordinates were counting on his to get it right. 

That is when his sleep was interrupted with a vision. It seemed real. Let's define vision as a mental picture. Some of those mental pictures were clarion clear. Others were a little hazy. In his vision, the traveller saw one man calling for help. In the dream he could even make out where the mail hailed from. Did the man's dress give it away? Did the surroundings reveal the location? 

There were no specifics as to what coming to help would entail. It was vague. It could involve dozens of things. Come and live? Come and visit? Come instruct? Come consult? Come and train. Come start a new business? None of these things were spelled out in the vision. Just a man calling for help. 

For most of us, that vision would have been easy to dismiss. Not for our weary traveller known better as the Apostle Paul. The vision came to him after the Holy Spirit had shut doors for him to go to Asia to preach the word and to Bithynia. It was at Troas where Paul fell asleep and had that vision. You can read about it in [Acts 16:9-10] 

There are not many details in the vision other than the ones I listed before. The man was from Macedonia. He was standing and appealing for Paul to come to Macedonia to help. The word appealing has several meanings in the Greek language. It means exhort, encourage, to invite, to implore and to beg. This sounds like the man in the vision was desperate. There is a sense of urgency about his appeal. It was both an invitation and a call from God. 

God is able to do that. He can connect a real need with the person He chooses and calls to meet the need. That happens all the time. People share resources because God instructs them to meet a need in someone's life. God calls people uproot and relocate to meet a missionary need or ministry need. God interrupts plans and comfortable lives calling people to live on mission for Him where needs are not being met. 

Are we open to God connecting other's needs with our ability to help? God had a purpose for closing doors for Paul and opening the door to Macedonia. The same way God has purposes in closing some doors of opportunity while opening others for us. We cannot meet every single need around us. He did not design us to do so. There are some needs that He chooses us to help meet. Our job is to listen attentively. The way He communicates that vision is up to Him. It might be a scripture, a casual conversation, a heavy burden, an unusual occurrence, or maybe even a vision. When He reveals where we are to help, how will we respond? Do we respond in obedient faith? 

Somewhere in the place you live somebody is pleading for God to send help. God hears their plea and He just might be connecting that need to your attention and heart. He might be calling you to get involved. To give a generous donation to someone. To help in an already existing ministry. To start a new ministry where needs are not being met In extreme cases, God might even call you to relocate to connect the needs of other people with you ability to go and help meet them. May we all pray Isaiah's prayer, "Here I am, send me." [Is 6:8]

Payday Someday

 It is easy to lose heart when you see wickedness increasing in our society. As a preacher and writer, it feels like I make very little difference. I preach and write to a very miniscule group of people. Compared to the tsunami of satanic penetration and influence over culture my prophetic prose and pastoral pablum do not stand a chance.  Evildoers keep getting away with it. Justice is denied in favor of the rich and powerful who can buy their ticket to freedom. 

I would lose all hope if I did not keep one thing in mind. No matter how the corrupt climb the ladder of success or who they hurt in the process, there will be a payday someday. The Psalmist records this in [Ps 73]. The Psalmist pens how disheartened he is to see the wicked prospering. He does not understand it. It seems to him that living right and honoring God are in vain compared to those who commit sin and seem to prosper. 

Then he wrote [Ps 73:16-19]. He got a different perspective once he came into the sanctuary of God. In that place of worship God revealed a very important truth. The writer perceived the end for the wicked sinners. Everybody dies. Afterwards people have to face reckoning for what they have done. Nobody gets away with anything in eternity. There is accountability. There is recompense for evils committed. There will be a payday someday. A day of accounting. 

At that time, God will set the sinners feet on slippery slopes. They will have no firm footing as they slide right into the abyss of eternal damnation in hell. Sinners will be cast to destruction, only they will not die, but suffer for eternity for their rebellion against holy God. They will be swept away in sudden terrors. 

This sentiment is echoed in [Gal 6:7] Do not be deceived, God is not mocked, for whatever a man sows this he will also reap. NAS

Justice will roll onto sinners like huge boulders in an avalanche of God's fury. People will slip and slide into the hot molten lava of God's righteous indignation for rebellion and defiance against His laws. NOBODY GETS AWAY WITH ANYTHING. The guilty verdict will come down like an earthquake. Ten thousand regrets will rise but it will be too late. The fate is sealed, and the doom is certain. 

Sinners, I urge you to repent before it is too late. You will not cheat God. You will not bluff your way into Heaven. Neither will you pull the wool over His all-seeing eyes. All your deeds have been recorded in the annals of Heaven. The history of your life is written. You have no defense. Your father the devil will turn on you and accuse you of all the wrongs you have done. You only have one hope. Repent of your sins and turn to Jesus for His salvation. Believe His death on the cross was for your punishment. [Rom 5:8-9] [Rom 10:13] He took your place and suffered on your behalf. In return, He offers you His righteousness and He is willing to take your sin away and forgive you. [II Cor 5:21] You do not deserve it. None of us do. [Eph 2:8-9] It is a free gift of grace and mercy. If you do this turning to Jesus, you will not face the wrath of God at the Great White Throne Judgment. You can read about that in [Rev 20:11-15] 

I urge you to turn to Jesus before it is too late. Payday is coming someday. Each of us is just one breath and one heartbeat away from eternity. We are all appointed to die and afterwards comes judgment. [Heb 9:27] Let this be day of your salvation. The day you are forgiven. I plead with you to do this before it is too late. 

Sex Trade

 I am sickened this morning. A news article was emailed to me yesterday. I just got around to reading it this morning. In some ways I wished I never did. It is like a punch in the gut. A wicked wallop to my soul. I wish I could just bury my head in the sand and go about my business. I wish I could forget this information. I cannot. Over the past several years my own personal investigations have corroborated what I read this morning. 

Hollywood A-listers and leading politicians are involved in the satanic sex trade of children. Children are ritually abused and swapped like slaves on the auction block. The list of people associated with these evil practices on Epstein Island and now the Diddy Combs case is shocking. The Clintons, Obamas, Jay Z, Beyonce, Oprah, Tom Hanks, George H. Bush, Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, just to name a few. 

Several years ago, I read about a video found of Hillary Clinton abusing children. It was turned over to the New York Police Department. The video was reported to be so graphic that several of the officers who saw it were sickened. Some of those same officers have been murdered in the years since that video was released. A link to that alleged video was included in the article I read this morning. I could not bring myself to watch it. I don't want those images in my mind. 

If these abuses are true, why are the offenders walking free? Why have they not been arrested? Why have they not been convicted? If I write to you that the reach of this cabal of debauchery is much wider than you think, would you believe me? Would you believe that agencies like the FBI and CIA can be compromised and even weaponized against opponents in efforts to protect the people who put them in position? You will just dismiss me as another conspiracy theorists. 

Here is the pattern. Upcoming artists and politicians are lured to elaborate sex parties often with children. Cameras are set up in every room. Video evidence is captured of sexual abuse and satanic rituals. These videos are used as blackmail to keep these abusers in line. To have them vote in certain ways, donate money to certain causes, or push certain agendas if they are elected to political offices. 

I know as sure as I write this that I am doing no more good than spitting into the wind. People will label me and think this is just another crazy conspiracy theory. That is because people do not want to know the truth. Highly respected and admired celebrities and political power brokers are Satanists, sexually deviants, child molesters, and compromised morally to the most twisted fetishes imaginable. It is easier to turn a blind eye. To not see the truth. To refuse to go there. To discover the truth for yourself. 

People do not want to talk about the over 300,000 migrant children that have crossed the border in the past four years that our government has lost track of where they are. My best guess is that most of them have been caught in the sex trafficking rings and are sadistically abused repeatedly. 

People laughed off such things as Pizza gate, Epstein Island, and now Sean Diddy Combs. Few want to acknowledge the truth of what the Clinton Foundation and Bill and Melinda Gates foundations really do with all that money. Oprah flashes a smile for television cameras and reportedly does so much good. What happens when the cameras are off? 

This sex slave industry is bigger than any of us care to wrap our minds around. Some might argue, if it is so real why don't we hear more about it. Why aren't people arrested. According to my research the corruption reaches into every area of society. Churches, judges, lawyers, entertainment industry, media, politicians, business moguls, and even law enforcement. 

When whistleblowers break rank and begin to squeal, such people die mysteriously. Suicide. One witness supposedly committed suicide by jumping off an overpass into oncoming traffic. Did he jump or was he thrown people question. Others are killed in plane crashes. Some are just shot and murdered. The grip this has on society is scary. 

Jesus loves children. He welcomed them, embraced them, and most certainly protected them. I cannot imagine how the heart of Jesus must break to see the wicked crimes perpetrated on these precious little ones. How their lives are destroyed forever. He is powerful to heal the broken places. Jesus can renew their minds and reset their shattered hearts. He can lead them to wholeness. 

One of the toughest movies I ever watched was The Sound of Freedom. If you have never seen it, I challenge you to get uncomfortable for a couple of hours to see what really happens every day in our world. I challenge you to start doing your own investigations. Get on your computer and dig deep into the underworld of our society. It will not be easy to digest. Do it for the little ones who are scared, enslaved, broken, and see no way out. May God bring this evil industry down and burn it to the ground. Let the little children come to Him for He is the only One who can deliver them. 

Undesirable

 A very simple definition of undesirable is a person who is not wanted. Have you ever felt that way? I certainly have. It hurts when others look at you and consider that you are not desired. They justify the way they feel, but it does not take the pain away. 

Employers sift through resumes considering the desirable from the undesirable. They may cull certain people because they do not have enough experience, they are too young, too old, do not have enough education, and multiple other criteria. People are more than words printed on a resume. Things like work ethic, commitment to excellence, loyalty, and passion for the work cannot be measured on a job application or a resume. Still worthwhile candidates get cast to the side all the time. 

The same thing happens in romance. People make snap judgments just on the appearance of other people. They may be too tall, too skinny, too short, too fat, too pale or too dark to suit the fancy of prospective lovers. These rejections make people do all sorts of things like diet, do makeovers, shop for new fashionable clothing and get new hairstyles all in vain attempts to become desirable. None of these things reveals the heart of a person. Outward appearance only counts for such in love and romance. 

Undesirable people get isolated, marginalized, cast aside, overlooked, passed over, and rejected. I have known this on multiple occasions as a young man, and as an adult. It made ne work out incessantly as a student hoping to grab the girls' attention. It fueled me to further my education as a man hoping it would open doors for me down the road. Girls still found me undesirable. Churches still passed me over in favor of other pastoral candidates over the years. 

Jesus loves and accepts undesirables. He embraces imperfect people. He welcomes those marginalized by society. That does not mean that He overlooks sin. He sees sin and demands repentance turning to Him for salvation. That does not mean that He does not love. He loves the abused. He cherishes those with checkered pasts. He accepts the unacceptable. He desires the undesirables. 

Now a word to the wise. If Jesus loves all of us that much, and He does, then we do not have to duck our heads in shame. We don't have to live like rejected failures. We do not have to expend our days in isolation trying not to be hurt again. Jesus is attracted to weakness, brokenness, and those shoved to the ash heap of society. His arms are open. His heart is tender. His touch is loving and nurturing. His words are comforting. He has a place for undesirables like me and maybe like some of you. I'm thankful Jesus champions those unwanted. 

Solitary Wheelchair in the Sun

 I had a lot to do this morning. I had pastoral visits to make and in between them I thought I would go early vote to avoid the lines on November 5th. There were lines out the door on this October 23 early voting day. I waited 50 minutes to cast my ballot. 

Before I voted I stopped at a care facility to check on one of our members. This lady has been sick in and out of the hospital for much of 2024. After I parked, I noticed an older lady in a wheelchair out in the parking lot. She was sitting in sunny space just below the road. After my visit, I noticed she was still in that same position. She had not snuck out. Other residents were sitting outside as well. 

Alone. Bound to her wheelchair. Basking in the sun. I had no idea what she was thinking as she watched all the cars go by in a hurry to get to somewhere. Maybe she remembered times when she used to drive down that same road. Perhaps she was lost in thought and preferred to be alone. It is possible that she was lost in worship of God in the beauty of His creation. Maybe she is alone because she has outlived everyone who knew and cared about her. 

At one point, this lady was young. Filled with dreams and aspirations. She was filled with vitality and probably a stunning beauty. I am sure she lived a productive life. At some point that enemy we all must face began catching up to her. Time. Over time young people age. The young and vibrant eventually become old and feeble.

 I contrast the solitary lady in the wheelchair with a young couple waiting in line to vote a few people ahead of me. They had a young child of about two. The wife was pregnant and by the look of things due to deliver in the not-too-distant future. She looked with loving admiring eyes at her baby boy and her husband. The lady in the wheelchair was once young and vivacious just like that young lady today. 

Time catches up with all of us. My college roommate told me about pictures he saw from people we went to college with at the Howard Payne homecoming. He commented about how old they looked. It's nearly been 25 years since we graduated. That happens to all of us. We look older for good reason, WE ARE OLDER. The bodies age. Hair thins. Joints ache. The mind slips a little. Energy levels drop. We grow less sure footed with our balance. Muscles atrophy. Eyesight dims. Hearing may reduce. It is common among us as we age. 

Most of us take our independence for granted. We dash around on our own two feet, and we drive in vehicles with our driver's license making it legal. I visited with an 84-year-old lady today who still has a driver's license, but it has long since expired. She has not driven in years. She needs help to do a lot of things today she used to do on her own before. I have known this lady for decades and though her mind is still sharp, I see the body slowly withering. 

Many times, I stop and reflect in my pastoral ministry that one day it could be me in the wheelchair isolated in a care facility forgotten by people who once knew me. One day people will not care that I was a pastor. Pastors get replaced all the time. Love and loyalties are bestowed on the new man as time and distance make people forget about the aging pastor's ministry. 

We will all grow old one day should Jesus tarry long enough. The question I am pondering today is how we want to be treated when that happens. We can use our last days to be of useful service to the Lord in some ministerial area. We can also age gracefully. Choose joy in the triumphs and the tragedies. In our old age, we will want people to still care for us. So, while we have the chance, let us express that same kind of care to people we know who are getting long in the tooth. One day it could be us sitting solitary in a wheelchair basking in the sun. 

The Precious Word

 There is no book like the Bible. That is because God is the author. He inspired men to write the sacred text of scripture as is explained in II Tim 3:16. It is a living book. [Heb 4:12] God reveals Himself in the Bible. The truths in it are timeless. 

Here are some interesting facts about the Bible. Yearly 100 million Bibles are sold or given away. Let that sink in. 100 million. No New York Times bestselling titles even comes close. One of the best sellers for 2024 sold a mere 120,000 copies. 

The Bible has been translated into 3,000 languages. Think of all the people from all the different cultures who can read about God and the Savior Jesus Christ in their own language. Consider the multitudes that have come to salvation. Think of the numbers who find strength in persecution and afflictions. Can any other book be located that has been translated into 3,000 languages. I don't think so. 

The average American household has four Bibles. I counted my personal copies of God's word and estimate I have 14 different Bibles. Some are worn from preaching and teaching with certain sections becoming unstitched. I have replaced covers on two of them. My favorite preaching Bible had to be retired several years ago from every week use. I have met with God in the pages of those Bibles over the past four decades. 

In a surprising statistic, the Bible is the number one shoplifted book in the world. I think I know why. Desperate people steal a copy hoping to find help in the pages. I am sure if those same people just took the time to ask churches, a Bible would be given so they did not have to steal one. The Bible is a highly desirable book. Yet how many Christians have ones that does not get used. 

The Gideons estimate they have around 700,000 Bibles in hotels. Only God knows how many people have read those Bibles and found comfort, guidance, and some even salvation. What a tremendous ministry. 

One last fact. Every single second. Consider the brevity of a second. Snap your fingers. That is a second. Every second a Bible is sold or given away somewhere in the world. There are 86,400 seconds in a day. That means 86,400 Bibles are sold are given away. That is astounding. 

If my house were to catch on fire and I had my family safely secured outside, the next thing I would grab is my Bible. It is that precious to me. 

Theology

 The word theology is a compound word made up of two words. The word Theos is the Greek word for God. Ology means the study of. Put those together and theology means the study of God. He is worth studying. No subject in the universe is more inexhaustible than studying God. There will always be more to learn. 

The truth is God is infinite, and our study will always be limited by finite minds. We are able to grasp complex concepts, but to fully comprehend God is a whole other matter. It is impossible to know Him fully and yet God wants to be known. He delights to reveal Himself to us in fresh ways when we seek Him with all our hearts. [Jer 29:13] Our limited vocabularies cannot fully grasp all that God was, is, and forever will be. 

It is true that we have the holy book of the Bible where God reveals Himself. That is a living God breathed book. I have devoted 35 years of my life to studying that book, reading it repeatedly, and expounding the truths about God contained in those sacred pages. I have files of thousands of sermons and studies. They are like a thimble filled with ocean water. Nothingness in comparison to the whole of the rest of the ocean. 

We could spend hours devoted to studying one single aspect of God. For instance, consider His love. A love that is purer than other love. A perfect love. An undeserved love. [Rom 5:8] An enduring love. A love that cannot be separated from us no matter what happens or comes against us. [Rom 8:37-39] A proven love. [Jn 3:16] A love totally initiated by God. [I Jn 4:10] A love that began at conception. [Ps 139:13] Who can fully fathom the depths of His love. It is a forgiving love. [I Jn 1:9] An eternal love. [Rom 6:23] 

Mind you, that is just the tip of the iceberg of just one attribute of God. We could study His grace, sovereignty, power, wisdom, compassion, holiness, righteousness, justice, perfection, majesty, massiveness, creative genius, omnipresence, omniscience, omnipotence, tenderness, indignation, never grows weary, never slumbers, God in three persons. Go further and study Jesus. Another inexhaustible subject. Move onto contemplating the Holy Spirit in [John 14-16]. It is impossible to fully study God as it is to explore every single inch of every ocean in the world. Just as impossible as trying to count every grain of sand on a beach or desert. 

After you have expended all your days, all your energies, all your mental faculties, and given your best efforts to study God, there will be more to learn. The pursuit of knowing God is the most noble of all pursuits in this life. We should be grateful that true believers will have all of eternity to keep learning and experiencing more of Him. 

You Will Hear a Word Behind You

 Your ears will hear a word behind you, "This is the way walk in it whenever you turn to the right or to the left." [Is 30:21]

Life is filled with decisions. Some are of greater importance than others. The will of God is of the utmost importance. His will is not something so much to be discovered as it is something for Him to reveal. He can reveal His will in numerous ways. One of those ways is through the voice of the Holy Spirit. 

When I use the word voice, some may get the impression I am referring to an audible voice. That has not happened for me. The voice of the Holy Spirit in my life has been like a strong impression, like a persistent thought in my mind, like a holy hunch. I cannot give you an exact science on how to discern the voice of the Holy Spirit. 

He communicates in various ways. He may speak through scripture, through other people, through dreams or visions. He once spoke to Moses in a burning bush. He spoke to Mary through Gabriel the angel. He spoke to Paul in a vision in the night more than once. He spoke to the apostles all through the book of Acts in a way they could understand exactly what He wanted. The fact of the matter is God can speak through the Holy Spirit in anyway He wishes. That is not the point. 

The point is that He does speak. When faced with difficult decisions the Lord will communicate the best choice. He will guide our paths. He will make His will plainly evident for those seeking and listening. People in the Bible knew when God spoke and they knew what He called them to do. We should expect no less in our day. 

This is the way walk in it. That is what we should all desire to know. For God to guide us continually on this life journey. Like God guided Israel with a cloud in the day and a pillar of fire in the night. We need that same kind of guidance. We need to discern when He wants us to wait and when He wants us to move forward. 

If we are serious about listening, we may not always like the directives He gives. He may require us to turn left when we prefer to go right. He may tell us to pause when we want to charge forward full steam. He may tell us to pick up the pace when we start lagging behind. His ultimate goal is not to make us or keep us comfortable. His goal is His will. What He purposes to do. That requires living in a state of constant surrender on our parts. 

Living surrendered is total abandonment to God and His desires. You can throw five and ten year plans out the window. He does care about our vision and mission statements. He purposes to do things where we live. He chooses us to be a part of those plans. He assigns us certain roles in His unfolding drama. We do not get to choose the parts we play. We seek and listen. Then we trust and obey. 

We say we want God to speak to us. Sometimes I wonder if what we really mean is that we want Him to speak comforting devotional words. I am not sure we all want Him to speak life altering, course changing, faith requiring messages placing us on mission for Him. That is part of the price of wanting Him to speak. He can speak any message at anytime calling us to do anything He pleases. 

For Abraham in meant a change in location. For Moses that meant a change in vocation. For the disciples it meant a change in both. For Paul it meant living a nomadic life as a bi-vocational church planter constantly on the move. For several of Jesus' followers it meant death as a martyr. Others suffered violently for following His voice. 

I am thinking of that old song sung at altar calls in some churches where some of the words are; I have decided to follow Jesus, though none go with me I still will follow, the world behind me and the cross before me, my cross I'll carry until I see Jesus, no turning back. That is sometimes the price required for hearing Him speak. It's not always comforting words and soothing sounds when He speaks. Do we want a fresh word from Him? Do we invite Him to speak His message? Will we trust and obey?

Do I Dare Believe?

 I read [Jn 14:13-14] this morning. Do I dare believe what Jesus said? Can I really take Him at His word? If I truly believe what He promised, the implications are profound. Those are questions I jotted in my journal  this early morning. 

I do not want to be fooled. I have so much to trust God to do right now. He alone is my only hope in numerous areas. I started with one simple request. I asked God to speak a simple answer to a question I have asked Him for the past year. I prayed and waited for His reply. I am still waiting for Him to answer. 

Do I dare believe that if I pray wanting His will first and foremost, not motivated by selfish gain, and with the desire to glorify Him I can ask and believe that I will receive? If I dare believe Jesus will do what He said, then I should live in expectation on a daily even an hourly basis for the answers. Jesus is not limited today in His ability to do anything. He said in other places that if I had faith the size of a mustard seed He would do great things. That is a very tiny amount of faith and I know I have that much. Mountain moving faith is needed for the things that concern me. [Mark 111:23-24] If I pray according to His will He said I will have what I ask. [I Jn 5:14-15] I dare to believe that. 

I'd be crazy not to believe. It would be to my detriment, to the detriment of my family, and the people I serve as pastor not to believe. I come with a heart and mind full of faith asking and believing. Jesus did not say how quickly He would give what is asked. He just said we would receive it at some point. That could be today, weeks from now, or even years down the road. The timing is His concern. My job is to believe. For as long as it takes. 

So, on this 21st day of October in the year of our Lord 2024, I ask and believe Jesus to do some big things. So big, if I shared them with you, major doubts would creep into your mind. You might even think I am crazy. Shucks. You may think already after reading these posts over the past several years. Let's just say when the answers come the Lord will get plenty of glory. He will be praised. Testimonies will be shared to encourage others. Now it is waiting in faith. I dare NOT believe Jesus and NOT take Him at His word. He has earned the right to be trusted. He says what He means. He waits to be taken seriously. I for one dare to believe. 

Chasing Shadows

 Did you ever chase your own shadow as a child? I did. I ran after that shadow caused by the sun. I sprinted after that shadow, but if I ever caught up to it, I found that I caught up with nothing. Chasing shadows is an exercise in futility. 

Grown people do the same thing on a daily basis. They chase the shadows of some illusion of what they think will make them happy. A new marriage partner, a new job, a change of scenery, to get a job promotion, or to purchase a house. Always chasing something. Expending precious days in the persistent pursuit of phantom things that can never satisfy. Nothing on this earth can ever ultimately satisfy the deepest cravings of our soul. 

Those cravings can only be satisfied by God and eternal things. As long as Satan can keep us chasing shadows alluring with the next thing, we fail to stop and realize we are chasing these things in vain. Things we chased in the past did not satisfy, but we are deceived into thinking the next thing will finally bring that elusive contentment we have always longed for. 

I admit I have chased my share of shadows. Even when I finally caught them, or secured that thing I wanted so badly, I did not find any more contentment then than I had while still chasing. At one time I was convinced that owning my own home would bring that elusive satisfaction I sought. It did not. Just four years later I prayed begging God to sale that long sought after house after we relocated to a new ministry. 

The Psalmist wrote in Ps 73:25 that besides God there was nothing on earth he desired. Can we say that? Can we honestly confess that we crave God more than anything or anyone on this planet? God sees the truth. He knows how much of our time, energies, and even prayers are spent chasing shadows. What will it take to wake us up so we do not waste an entire life doing this?

I can read scriptures like Phil 3:7-8 and Phil 3:10-12, but I still get duped into chasing shadows from time to time. I am ashamed to admit how much I have wasted over my life chasing after empty allurements that could never fill the longings of my heart. The only way to wise up is to stay connected to God and focused on His word. It is when I peek my eyes above the pages that I get off track. Let me chase after Him and not after shadows. 

Living in the Present

 I visited with one of our senior adult ladies last night. We talked about life and getting older. I asked if she ever dreamed she would be where she is right now. She responded that her whole life she just lived in the present moment she was in. What a great way to live. 

There are plenty of people stuck in the past. They live their lives looking back over their shoulder at the good old glory days. The recall life when they were foot loose and fancy free in high school or college. The recount exploits they accomplished. You may especially see this in former athletes. They make themselves to be legends in their own minds. The tales get larger with time. 

On the other hand, there are people who live with past regrets. They cannot forgive themselves for a sinful blunder, a moral failure, or a very poor decision that resulted in painful consequences. I agree with the adage that we should learn from our mistakes. We cannot go back and undo them. Why waste the time pining away in regret and remorse. It is a waste of energy. Paul exhorts us to forget what lies behind and to reach forward to what lies ahead. [Phil 3:13] The past is in the past. We cannot recapture it. Yesterday is gone forever no matter how much nostalgia it still holds. 

There are other people who are wide-eyed dreamers. They live in the future tense. They are so focused on what they are going to do one day when they get around to it that they miss out on life right in front of them. Parents do this trying to make money and then one day realize the kids are grown and out of the house. They miss out of those wonderful bonding memories of early childhood all the way up to graduation from high school. 

Some dream so much about what they are going to do, but they never get around to doing it until it is too late. They are oblivious to the mercies and blessings of God all around them. They chase after the next dream, get rich quick scheme, or promotion. There is nothing wrong with having vision and pursuing goals. Not to the point of missing life in the here and now. If a person dreams but never does, they will waste a great of their life.

It is rare to find someone content to live in the present. These people age well. They do not try and hide their age with fashionable clothing more fit for teens than senior adults. They own their age with silver hair, wrinkles, and a few aches and pains to boot. Like Paul they learned to be content in whatever circumstances they are in at the moment. [Phil 4:11] It is a treasure to find people who enjoy life no matter what age they are. Singles who enjoy being single and the freedom to follow God on mission without the restraints of a family. Students who make the most of learning instead of wanting to hurry up and be grown and get into the work force. People starting their careers in entry level positions who are content to work faithfully where they are instead of striving to climb the ladder. Retired people who are not grumpy ranting about their dislikes. Middle agers who are not going through life altering mid-life crisis. 

Living in the present is a gift. For instance, it is nearing the end of a very productive day. I could shut it all down and call it done. Living in the present meant capturing that memory from last night and corralling those thoughts into words. I still have seven minutes before 5:00 p.m. Soon my bride of 33 years will walk through our front door. It really does not matter what we do tonight. I want to live in the present and just enjoy her company. A blessing I do not want to take for granted. 

Increase Our Faith

 Who wouldn't want stronger faith? Who does not need a more potent faith to cope with day-to-day challenges? In Luke 17:5 the apostles asked Jesus to increase their faith. Is that a prayer that we also need to pray?

The word increase in that passage means to add, be brought further, given more, and to proceed. For whatever measure of faith, we have today, we could all use more. We need God to add to our faith. To take us further in faith than we have been before. Give us more and more to match the challenges of life. To proceed further in life and kingdom causes than we could ever go in our own strength. 

Muscles grow and are strengthened when they are repeatedly put under stress. That is why track athletes train vigorously running to strengthen their legs and increase their lung capacity. The stress is not pleasant when going through it, but the return is optimal performance in competition. 

The same principle is true for lifting weights. The more stress the muscles endure the bigger they grow and the stronger they become. I teach a weightlifting class. The principle is simple. I do not repeat the same workouts for each class. I design the workouts to continually shock and strain muscles to do something that forces them to work harder. The end result is those muscles grow, and strength grows to lift heavier weights. 

If we really want God to increase our faith, we must be willing to have faith strained and stressed in a series of tests. We do not like these challenges. As we age, we want a more comfortable and secure life. We certainly do not want to have to exercise faith to endure some new challenge. That is the way faith is increased. With each challenge and prayerful belief for God to see us through the challenge, faith increases and grows stronger. In time, we are able to handle greater challenges because our increased faith believes God is able to handle each challenge before us no matter how daunting. We can look back on His past faithfulness to bolster faith for future answers. 

Do we really want the Lord to increase our faith? I certainly do. I am facing numerous faith challenges ahead. I can see them on the horizon. I can doubt and give into fear. Or I can flex that faith God has increased and challenged for the past three decades. Some of these challenges are big. I see no solution in my own resources. I'm not tapping into my resources. I am trusting God to do something miraculously marvelous. My favorite part of that cycle is when I get to sit behind this computer tapping the keys to brag on God or stand behind a pulpit and testify about what He has done. 

O Lord, we plead that you increase our faith. Give us more and more. Help us not shy away from the process to get that increase. May you be glorified by all the answers to prayer. 

Free?

 Martin Luther Jr. stood at the mall in Washington, D.C. and proclaimed his famous "I Have A Dream," speech. He worked toward racial equality. He wanted people to experience freedom. Liberty. Deliverance from racism and segregation. He worked tirelessly for it. 

Can people live in a land of freedom and not be free? You could be a citizen of the United States and yet be incarcerated. In that case, such people would not live in freedom. There are others who live in bondage day in and day out. Bondage to all sorts of things like fear, anxiety, addiction, and the opinions of others people. These people live in a land of freedom but are not free themselves. 

There are many Christians who do not live in freedom. Even though Jesus offers freedom. 

John 8:32–36 (NASB95)

³²and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” 

³³They answered Him, “We are Abraham’s descendants and have never yet been enslaved to anyone; how is it that You say, ‘You will become free’?” 

³⁴Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is the slave of sin. 

³⁵“The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son does remain forever. 

³⁶“So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed.

Such live in bondage. They are enslaved. They wear invisible chains shackling them to some emotion, sin, or thought that enslaves them like a prisoner. Christians under bondage work feverishly to keep their bondage a secret for fear of being judged. Satan loves to hold people hostage by their secret sins. 

It saddens me how many live in bondage to something. It is pornography for many men. It is a poor self image for many women. It is bondage to the opinions of people for some. Others battle the bondage of the will to continue doing things that displease God. Multitudes are in bondage to depression. Many are in bondage to addiction. A slavery they cannot seem to escape. 

Can such people be liberated? Jesus said they could. He said He could make people free. To deliver them from bondage. To break the chains. To set at liberty those held captive. [Luke 4:18-19]. Is this really true? Can we really expect people who are enslaved to sin to be set free? I certainly think it is. I know Jesus has the power to do what He says. Do we believe Him and take Him at His word? We need to see this again.  People delivered from demonic bondage. 

The fact is most people who are in bondage do not trust anyone enough to cry out for help. I get it. Christians can be gossiping judgmental immature husks of Jesus followers. It is understandable why those in bondage do not trust those in the church. Therefore, the cycle of bondage continues from one generation  to the next. Generational curses continue passed down for decades and even centuries. It appears freedom is out of reach when the truth is it is there for the taking by faith. When Jesus sets a person free, they will actually be free. This is good news. No, it is great news. May we walk in the freedom Jesus purchased for us. 

Bed Bugs

 I visited with a man in the hospital today. He is recovering nicely from his illness, but still grieves the loss of his wife several months ago. They were married 44 years. They were just teenagers when they married. People thought they were crazy kids. Truth is they were crazy in love and remained in love until she died of cancer. Her loss has been difficult for him to get over. 

We visited for a long time. He did most of the talking. I listened. Then he told me a story that I just had to get down for others to read. A story about bed bugs of all things. 

The story starts with him visiting his mother in law in a care facility. She brought something to him on a napkin and asked if he could identify what it was. He identified a bed bug. He went in to investigate her bed closer and sure enough those little creatures were everywhere. 

He told her to wrap a few belongings in a garbage bag and to come stay with him until the property owners could rectify the situation. The man testified God was in those bed bugs. He was so depressed he could not function. Memories of his wife were everywhere in the home. He sat there alone for weeks weeping his eyes out. 

God used the bed bugs to get his mother in law to come stay with him. God used the tiny vessels of beg bugs to send a minister to stay with him in his grief. He needed someone but was not going to ask for help. He knew she was also grieving the loss of her daughter and the loss of her husband six years ago. He believes God orchestrated the beg bugs to get his mother in law to come minister to him in this season. She is still there because the beg bugs are still in her assisted living apartment. 

How much does God care about His children? Enough to send bed bugs? Enough to send fleas? When Corrie ten Boon and her family were arrested by the Nazis and thrown into Jewish concentration camps, the conditions were miserable. It did not take long before her and her sister discovered the barracks they stayed in were infested with fleas. They could not sleep at night from the hundreds of bites and clawed their skin trying to find relief. If their imprisonment was not enough misery, they had to add the madding torment of fleas. This turned out to be a blessing in disguise. 

Because the fleas were so rampant the guards seldom came into their barrack. When they smuggled a Bible inside, it went undiscovered for a long time because the fleas kept the guards away. God comforted those women in torturous conditions with His word, and they were unafraid because they knew the guards feared getting the fleas personally, so they stayed away. 

How much does God care? Is He concerned about the minute details? He is concerned enough about the well being of His children that He will use a bed bug and a flea to accomplish His purposes. Remember that the next time you are inconvenienced. God might just use your inconveniences to show how much He cares. 

Teach Me to Pray

 In Luke 11:1 the disciples asked something of Jesus that I also asked of Him this morning. They asked Jesus to teach them to pray. I asked Him to teach me to pray. That may sound odd for a man who has devoted himself to prayer, preached on prayer, taken prayer retreats, written two books on prayer, and been a part of many prayer meetings. I still asked Jesus to teach me to pray this morning. I know I really am not that good at it and have so much to learn. 

A recent survey indicated that people who pray do so an average of 18 minutes a day. This is an average meaning some pray longer and others shorter. Out of a 24-hour period in a given day and night cycle, 18 minutes does not seem that long. That leaves 23 hours and 42 minutes. I do not even want to focus on the longevity of our praying. That is not the point. 

The point is out of those 18 minutes of praying for most people, are they praying effectively? Are they locked in with laser focus? Do they really communicate with God or are they just mouthing meaningless repetitious phrases? 

I can only look at me. I know I am not the man of prayer that God wants me to be. I have not been that man for decades. I have tried. There have been seasons when prayers increased, I got highly motivated, and I really felt connected with God. It never lasted like I hoped it would. There have been other seasons when I did not even want to pray, and I certainly did not pray effectively. I am tired of the roller coaster ride in my prayer journey. 

Prayer is way more complicated than most people think. There are multiple facets to prayer. Like worship, seeking, petitioning, listening, interceding, thanksgiving, mountain moving prayer, spiritual warfare, and praying in the Spirit. Prayer is very complex. The simple version is it is just talking with God. The deeper version is we need to explore all types of prayer and devote ourselves to learning how to pray more effectively. 

Do we even have the desire to learn how to pray better? Do we want the Lord to teach us to pray? I do and the first thing I need Him to teach me is to have the consistent desire to pray. To want to meet with Him. My flesh fights against going deeper in prayer because it requires more focus and more time. I need to learn to pray with faith. In other words, to learn to pray with greater confidence. To pray securing God glorifying answers. 

Many of my prayers feel more like babble than boldness before the throne of grace. [Heb 4:16] I am need of private tutoring. Personal training from the Prince of Peace. I know I cannot get to the next level on my own. No matter how many prayer books I read or write. If I am to ever learn how to pray, Jesus must teach me, empower me, discipline me, and help me. What about you?

I can only imagine how my life, family, ministry, and the church would change if I really learned how to pray. I cannot imagine how churches, communities and countries would change with people learning how to really pray. Learning to touch the heart of God in prayer. Learning to believe His promises. Learning to persevere in prayer against all odds. 

Lord, as sincerely as I know how I ask You to teach us how to pray. We ask You instruct us. To give us the hearts of eager students. Please personally train each of us to pray better with greater effectiveness. We ask for more than an emotional high that will wear off. We ask for a righteous resolve that will stand the test of time. We ask You to fuel our prayers with renewed faith. To increase that faith to match the assignments You put before us. Please Lord, teach us to pray because we believe it is Your will and pleases You when we devote ourselves to pray as You did. In Your name Jesus, I ask. Amen. 

A Massive Read

 Jess Little Sr. is a retired pastor friend of mine. He is 78 and still preaches every chance he gets. I never knew anyone personally who owned more books than he did. Thousands. He invited me to preach in his church numerous times. I used to sit in his office admiring all those books. I confess I coveted some of them. When he retired, he blessed me with thousands of those books. They are priceless to me. Not just because many of them are out of print, but more importantly because he gave them to me. He has been like a father to me for several decades. 

He is always recommending new books to me. He recently told me about this book I just had to get a copy of for myself. Little did I know that book was a mere 850 pages of heavy theological treatise. Months back he purchased a book for me written in the 1600's. That little book of 656 pages was considered one of the most influential books by Leonard Ravenhill who was one of my spiritual heroes. I have not read that one. Now a book of 850 pages! Daunting to say the least. 

I am more used to tackling books of 150-200 pages. On some occasions, I might wade through a biography or autobiography of 300 plus pages. I cannot say I have ever attempted to read a book of 850 pages. The book is called Theology for Today  by Elmer Towns. I started plowing through it and made it all the way to page 14. Only 836 more to go. 

I love to read. One of the last things I do each night before going to bed is to read. Typically I fall asleep trying to get through a chapter. I am not a fast reader. I wish I read faster. I am a plodder. I plod through books a little at a time. Typically I am reading several volumes at the same time. I start one and get bored and then move onto something else and then go back to the original book. 

I determined recently to finish all the books I started before moving on. I finally whittled it down to one  and now this massive hardback. I have never read anything that massive before. I did once read a book of 813 pages over the course of several years, but skipped a few chapters that did not interest me. 

I used to gut out each book I started from start to finish even if my mind wandered in the middle of it. It was a competitive goal to finish. I have a new motto. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO READ A BORING BOOK. There are so many great ones to be digested. 

I am no intellectual giant. Many times I have shied away from deeper books that make you think. It is work to comprehend these printed publications. Well, I am not getting any younger. There is still so much to discover. So I am tackling this massive read. I am sure I will put it down from time to time for something easier and lighter. I am resolved that I will read it. ALL OF IT. Even if it takes me the rest of my life. I may drown in that sea of words. I am sure I will be over my head before long. It will be good for me. A way to exercise and stretch the mind. A way to challenge my soul. In the end, I hope it brings me closer to the God I love. 

I Wonder

 Brenda bought me a book for my birthday. The book was used. Today when I turned to open the front cover, I noticed some handwriting on the inside. Turns out the previous owner of this book was a lady named Madeline from Pennsylvania. That set my mind to wondering. She even included her address with the notation, "Return to..." She must have treasured this book enough to want it back if she let others borrow it. I wonder how it ended up in my hands. Did she sell it? Did she lend it to someone and they sell it? I don't know. I just know Brenda purchased it online and now the book is in my possession. I wonder how much enjoyment Madeline got from the book over the years. 

I assure this is not a book you will find on the top most popular books list. It is a heavy theology book written in 2002 by a college professor. I wondered what sort of woman would be interested in such a book. Is she a housewife so devoted to God she wants to learn more? What motivated Madeline to purchase this book? Is she a teacher in her local church and used the book for help in teaching truth? Is she a college professor herself and used the book in her teaching material? Perhaps a high school teacher at a Christian School. So much I do not know. Did Madeline have a family? Is she married and have children? How old is she? 

I wonder if she is even alive. Did some relative find this book and put it up for sale after she deceased having no use for it themselves. As they say, one person's junk is another person's treasure. There is evidence that Madeline did read the book for I have discovered yellow hi lighted selections. I wonder about her quest to discover truth and deepen her understanding of Bible doctrine. 

I wonder about Madeline's salvation. When did she meet Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior? How did God show Himself faithful to her after that salvation encounter? I wonder how many other people she introduced to Jesus along her life journey. I wonder if she grew up in wealth and privilege or in poverty. I wonder what her favorite subjects were in school? Did she graduate from high school? Did she go on to pursue studies in college and graduate school? 

I wonder what passions consume Madeline. If she is still alive, I wonder about her devotional habits. I wonder if her Bible is tattered and worn from use. I wonder if she is a devout prayer warrior. I wonder if she even still resides at the address on the inside cover of that book. I wonder if I will meet Madeline in heaven. Our only connection being a relationship with God and this book. I wonder. 

Whatever reason for Madeline parting with this book, I am thankful to her for making it available to me as a gift from my wife. Madeline must be quite a lady. I wish I knew more about her. Today, I can only wonder. 

Why Do You Call Me Lord?

 And why do you call Me, "Lord, Lord," and do not do what I say? [Luke 6:46] NAS

The word lord can also be translated as master and owner. Jesus said, why do you call me Master and owner and do not do I what I say? That stings a little. If we really take an inventory of our spiritual vitality, we may discover several areas where we are not obeying the Lord. 

We don't have to look far. 

          And He said to him, “ ‘YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND. New American Standard Bible: 1995 Update (La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation, 1995), Mt 22:37.

Can we really say that we love God with all of our being? Are there people or things in our lives we love more than the Lord. This saying was in response to the question asked of Jesus as to which was the greatest command. In other words, which of the commandments is foremost, the chiefly important. Simple. Love God first and most. Are we doing that? Do we love God at such a depth that we do not have capacity to love Him anymore than we already do? 

I know I love God. Do I have the capacity to love Him even more? I believe I do. There are still untapped places in my mind where other things have taken root. There are places in my heart that have been closed off to Him. There are passions in my life that try to compete for His affection. I know I have not have always given Him my best effort in devotions and in service. Sometimes I am lazy. This verse points out areas in my life where I am not doing what Jesus says. 

What about...

Luke 6:41–42 (NASB95)

          41      “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 

          42      “Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother’s eye.

It is easy for me to criticize others. To hold them to a high standard. To scrutinize their lives while ignoring areas in my own life. The person that I have the biggest problem with on a day-to-day basis is the guy I see when I look in the mirror. That person gives me the most trouble. I can be impatient, harsh, unkind, abrasive, foolish, driven, and did I mention impatient. I can be overly competitive, quick to anger, filled with doubts, a person of small faith, keep account of wrongs done to me, and more. 

What business do I have to scrutinize someone else's life when my life is not in order. It is easy to nitpick others while giving grace to ourselves. We should meticulously pick our lives apart uncovering and uprooting sin instead of getting caught up in pointing out the faults in others. 

We have only looked at two passages and our failures doing what Jesus says is evident. Need I go further? We get the point. We are not nearly as spiritual as we think we are. Each of us has blind spots that we are unaware of or unwilling to acknowledge. 

I could point out pride. God is opposed to the proud. [James 4:6] I am a proud man. That means God has often opposed me to break me. That has not been a pleasant path. The school of brokenness is one in which I have advanced knowledge. My stubborn pride has hurt me more than once. From time to time, it still surfaces. Like trying to argue when someone points out a wrong, I have done. There are times when I do not humble myself to Brenda or my sons and tell them I was wrong. The conviction of the Holy Spirit can work heavily to bring me to repentance in such cases. Many times, I have returned to them with tail tucked between my legs asking for forgiveness. I bet I am not the only one who deals with pride. 

Here is the point. Most of us are not as high and spiritual as we may appear to be publicly. Do we sit before the Lord with open Bible and let Him do precision surgery on our hearts and attitudes? We need to do this on a regular basis if we call Jesus Lord and Master. The proof will be if we do what He says. 

The Salute

 Our second son, Tanner, is a GA coach for the Wayland Baptist University Pioneers. They played Nelson University in Waxahachie on Saturday. It is the closest opponent to us all season and we have not seen Tanner since back in the summer for a couple of days, so we went to the game. 

There were all the usual pregame rituals. The teams warmed up. Starting lineups were introduced. The teams went to midfield for the coin toss. Then we stood for the opening prayer and the national anthem. I almost did not notice him. Seated one section over from us and down on the front row stood a silver haired senior adult man. While most of us stood with our hands over our hearts, he stood at attention saluting the flag. The sight of this man saluting the flag with the utmost respect moved me. I deduced that he must have been in the military at some point. 

The national anthem meant something more to him than to most in the stands that day. I contemplated the time he spent in the grind of basic training. I wondered if he was a combat veteran. Seeing this aged veteran not in the best of health, but still with fierce loyalty to this country was inspiring. Navigating the steps to sit higher seat was too difficult so he and his wife opted to sit on the front row. Not a very good vantage point to the see the game with people obscuring the view as they scurried back and forth to the bathroom and concession stand. His feeble body did not keep him from standing at attention saluting the flag in respect for this country. 

In that man's life span, I can only guess how he must feel watching the destructive implosion of the United States. A country whom he gave his allegiance. To defend the country against all enemies foreign or domestic. I do not see such respect for country among all people. 

Many that day stood up but did not hold their hands over their heart. In a country where athletes took a knee during the national anthem, this man was a stark contrast. His body may have aged long past his prime, but he stood proudly erect in honor of a flag that means a great deal to him. He did not care what other people thought about him. He was locked in. Solely focused on that waving flag on that October afternoon. He was totally oblivious to the fact that I was even watching him. He inspired renewed patriotism in me. 

The United States is not a perfect country. It is still my country. One I love. I still swear allegiance to the flag like I was taught to do in grade school. I am still grateful to be a citizen of this country and to fight for the soul of this nation in a spiritual battle. Like the old soldier, I too salute. I salute God first, family, His church, and my country. I do not want to take the blessing of being born in this nation for granted. It is a gift I want to treasure well. 

Nothing Will Be Impossible

 For nothing will be impossible for God. [Luke 1:37] NASU 1995

The context of this verse is when Gabriel appeared to Mary and informed her that she would conceive the miracle incarnate Messiah by the Holy Spirit. How could a teenage girl even contemplate this in her wildest imaginations. It seemed far fetched. That is when God spoke through Gabriel and informed her that nothing is impossible with God. 

Just a few verses earlier we learn that Mary's cousin Elizabeth was barren and in her old age. It seemed all hope was lost that she would ever have a child of her own. That is until Gabriel met her husband in the temple and revealed that Elizabeth would conceive and they would have a son named John who would turn people to the Messiah. We know that son as John the Baptist. 

Nothing is impossible with God. Do we believe it? Do we pray like we are convinced this is true? I read Luke 1:37 seated alone in a favorite breakfast spot this morning. That word impossible means unable, powerless, cannot do. What is God unable to do? Name the things He is powerless to perform. List the things He cannot do. He can do all of it. Anything He wants. He is not limited in power, resources, or wisdom. 

Nothing is impossible with God. When I read that this morning, I jotted some things in my journal. Some things that would appear pretty impossible to mortal man. I am not leaning on mortal man. I am leaning on eternal God. The God who created the universe with spoken words. The God who parted the Red Sea for Moses and Israel. The God who helped a shepherd boy defeat a giant warrior champion. The God who sent fire out of heaven for Elijah to consumed the sacrifices. The God who sent the Messiah to be born in a manger. The God who became flesh and dwelt among men in Jesus. The God who healed diseases and raised the dead. The God who resurrected Jesus from the dead. 

We either believe this or we don't. If we believe we will pray some bold prayers and take some bold steps of faith. We will witness God do great things. We will continually testify of these great things He does. Marriages will be healed. Diseases cured. Lives transformed. A nation bowed in repentance. Churches will be planted. The gospel will be proclaimed in foreign lands. His provision will fund kingdom causes. We have only scratched the surface of some of the things God can do. 

What do you need Him to do for you? Restore a broken relationship. Provide a financial need. Open a closed door. Make a way where it looks impossible to travel. Move a mountain. Go ahead and take God at His word. I did. I am praying like nothing is impossible with God. I hope you will do the same. 

Amazing Grace

 I guess if you talk to many of the older generation, the majority will say among their favorite old hymns Amazing Grace is at or near the top. The words of that classic anthem are timeless. They have been sung in worship services, revival meetings, camps, and funerals. 

The grace of God is truly amazing. I will be the first to admit that life has hardships and sorrows. If were really honest, don't we have it better than we deserved? God has not allowed us to always experience the full potential consequences of our sin. Where He could have poured out wrath, He often pours out grace instead. It is understandable how John Newton could feel so overwhelmed by the grace of God. He wrote these words and ministered to millions through them. 

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace, my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see

 I feel the weight of those words penned by a former slave ship captain who knew about sin. God washed Newton in the tide of His loving grace bringing him safely ashore to salvation. God found the captain of the high seas and made Him a vessel testifying of amazing grace. Undeserved. Unmerited. Unattainable except by faith. Always amazing. 

This grace comforts and relieves fears of eternal damnation. This unmerited favor of God is held precious by those whom Jesus has saved. Not just an adequate grace, but an amazing grace. So amazing that we will never tire of rejoicing and praising God for it even after 10,000 years of practicing. It is a chorus we will sing for all eternity. 

Sometimes amid the hustle and bustle of life it is easy to forget about this amazing grace. When we win victory after victory and are soaring on high it is easy to forget what wretches we are. Just when we are riding high, we can blow it. A careless word. A sinful action. A moral mishap. A blatant blunder of God's laws. We all do it. We all fall and sin. We all fall short. In those moments it is both comforting and reassuring that God still loves us and still lavishes grace on us. 

I know it has been said countless times down through the ages. Others have said it far more eloquently than I can. It has been the theme of books, sermons, studies, and songs. His grace is still amazing. 

What's Wrong

 I noticed the body language of a teenage girl in our Bible study last night. It was obvious she was struggling with something. I stopped the study and asked if she was alright. She indicated that she was fine. I didn't buy it. I went back to teaching anyway. She was not herself. Not engaged. Distracted. Hurting. 

We finished our study, and I asked the girl again if she was okay. She said she was, but I looked in her eyes and told her that I did not believe her. The easy thing to do would have been to take her at her word and dismiss the group in prayer. I felt impressed to persist. Then the truth came out. She told us a friend of hers had recently been shot in the metroplex. I asked how the friend was doing, and she teared up saying he died. An 18-year-old young man another victim to a senseless murder. We prayed for the heartbroken girl in our group. 

If you read the room, you will often notice people who are not doing well. You can see it on their countenance. You can witness it in their body language. If you listen closely, you will even hear it in their voice. People are hurting. They carry heavy burdens. They struggle with mental health. They have broken hearts. These people need ministry but will seldom ask for it. If you do not pay attention, you may miss them. You can be so self-absorbed that you fail to notice those who struggle around you. Jesus noticed struggling people all the time. He made time to notice. He took the time to get involved and to minister to such people. 

Face the facts. Getting involved with struggling people can be inconvenient. It might take a little time to listen. It may require some heavy seasons of intercession. It might require some difficult conversations. It might require you to get your mind off your own problems for a while to help someone else with theirs. These are things we are supposed to do. 

Jesus stopped to help the leper in Matthew 8:1-3. He helped the man with the withered hand in Mark 3:1-5. In Mark 3:9-11, He healed many and cast out demons from others. In Mark 5 He cast out a demon from a man living in a cemetery, healed a woman who had been sick for 12 years, and then raised a 12-year-old girl from the dead. None of these incidents was convenient. 

Jesus has something we do not. He is omniscient. He knows everything. He does not have to ask anyone what is wrong. He already knows. Because we do not know everything we have to ask. Do we care enough to ask people around us what they are struggling with? Do we love enough to persist if they do not tell us the truth? A lot of people could be helped if we just ask the two-word question, "What's wrong?" If we want to be like Jesus, we will ask that question and help people in His name. 

World Gone Crazy

 Everywhere I look the world is going crazy. I cannot think of one specter of society where turmoil is the rule of the day. I cannot even stomach to watch the main news outlets anymore. I am fast losing interest at keeping up to date with alternative news sources I have used for years to keep informed about current affairs. It is all so disheartening. 

Let me start with politics. I am so disgusted and ashamed by politicians in BOTH parties. They no longer represent the best interests of the United States. Key players in both parties legislate laws that are not designed to help our citizens. I cannot for the life of me understand why our government would give hundreds of millions of dollars to people around the world or who have entered our country illegally but not help those devastated by the recent hurricanes. It does not make sense. I have heard multiple reports about supplies that are donated to hurricane victims being confiscated and given to sanctuary cities. Does that make any sense? 

What sense does it make to give illegals housing and money to live on while our own citizens face needs. In what world does it make sense to allow illegal aliens to vote in elections. That very thing is planned right here and now. What sense does it make to let terrorists come across our borders and to allow children to be sex trafficked while little is done to stop it. It is a world gone crazy. 

I have said this numerous times, and I will say it again today. The government has turned against us in many areas. Key globalists leaders are bent on one thing. The destructive killing of hundreds of millions of people through vaccines, pandemics, wars, and other ways. Few listen. They remain glued to ABC, NBC, CBS, and even FOX for their news narratives. It has been proven over and over again these news outlets lie and misinform the people. They insist the 2020 presidential election was the safest in history. Multiple facts that are suppressed by the news outlets hide the truth. It is a world gone crazy. 

The justice system has been used as a weapon to stop political opponents. There is no longer justice for all. There is justice for the side who can stack the deck of judges, jurors, and attorneys. Organizations like the FBI, CIA, and Secret Service have demonstrated they cannot always be trusted. Few want to believe this. It is a world gone crazy. 

Move onto education. Right before our eyes history is revised and rewritten as false facts are taught to students. Liberal ideologies are introduced at young ages in the classroom to reshape the way students view the world. The homosexual and transgender way of life is taught as normal. It is also pushed on students to identify with this lifestyle. If concerned parents voice their concerns to the local school boards, the Attorney General of the United States labeled such parents as domestic terrorists. It is a world gone crazy. Many students tell me that their schools are more and more pagan. The darkness is deepening, and many Christians are hiding the light of Jesus inside out of fear. Schools are no longer safe places. Students are treated like lab test animals to experiment with teaching different philosophies. It is going south. Even in private Christian schools the hypocrisy among faculty and students is noticeable. The salt has lost it flavor and the light is fading. It is a world going crazy. 

Look at the agriculture industry and the Food and Drug Administration. Certain poisons are allowed on our foods through pesticides, chemtrails from airplanes, and genetic modifying of foods. Scientists have disrupted the natural order God created and people are paying the consequences. Look at some of the drugs prescribed. Take a study about the harmful effects of many vaccines. The data proves the world has gone crazy. The people who are supposed to protect us, treat us, heal us, and protect our food sources do not always have our best interest at heart. It is world gone crazy. 

While I could go on, let me just focus on one more aspect of society. This hits close. The church is not immune from criticism. While people paste plastic smiles on their faces in local churches let me be truthful what often happens behind the scenes. There are blatant powerplays. Manipulation to be in charge. Evil practices employed to be in influential leadership positions by both preachers and parishioners. Some pastors are dictators acting like the Chief Executive Officer rather than the shepherd of the flock. Other parishioners oppose pastoral leadership and handcuff them with their policies and procedures. Hypocrisy is running rampant in the pew and behind the pulpit. I am grieved to hear about upstanding respected church members committing adultery. The same is true of pastors who cannot keep their penis in their pants and bring shame on the name of Christ. Churches operate like businesses for profits instead of serving the least of these. Many congregations are made up with lukewarm apathetic members who sicken the stomach of Jesus. Preachers are cowards in the pulpit reluctant to offend Mr. Big Bucks and Mrs. Gossip Leader with hard hitting Bible truth. Many churches have little to no influence on the communities they are called to minister in. The good news of the gospel is often a well-kept secret among many Christians instead of shared in the highways and byways among those who need to hear it most. It is a world gone crazy. God help us. 

This is not the first time in history a society has strayed from the Savior. God has chastised such nations in the past and I fear we are headed for some dire times ahead. We can still repent. We can still turn to God and plead for mercy. We do not deserve it, but who knows. Maybe God will have compassion. Maybe He will turn this world gone crazy upright again and bring people back to Him. Maybe God will give us a little more time before the Great Tribulation sets in and the rapture comes. If not, we have not seen just crazy this world can get. 

My Mountain Mover

 Many mountains I see on my path ahead, 

Mountains preferred avoided desired instead, 

The mountains looming impossible to surpass,

Requiring perseverance and a faith steadfast, 

I need Almighty God to be my mountain mover, 

No matter the number or the mountain grandeur, 

I come with a tiny mustard seed of simple belief, 

Seeking a miracle of impossibilities a path of relief,

Nothing is impossible to One so strong in power, 

No matter the deadline or how delayed the hour, 

You are a miracle worker my trusted miracle maker, 

Not a blessed assurance covenant promise breaker, 

I stand on Bible truth and your promise declarations, 

Ushering in new testimonies of joyous faith celebrations. 

Woefully Inadequate

 I want to state right from the start that my vocabulary is woefully inadequate to write this post. I will do the best I can, but the English language will fail me. I will trust God and give my best. 

 He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. [II Cor 5:21]

This is one of the simplest expressions of what salvation is. It is also a profound statement of what God did through Jesus to save us. It all started with God the Father. He sent Jesus from Heaven inside the womb of a frightened young girl. Mary gave birth to God's Son and Jesus began His earthly journey. Why would God that. Simple. He loved us. See John 3:16 and Romans 5:8. 

Jesus never sinned. Not in attitude, not a careless word spoken, not an act of rebellion against the laws of God, nor any act of rebellion. Nothing. Jesus lived perfectly. If Jesus had not lived sinlessly, His death on the cross would have been meaningless. His perfection enabled Him to satisfy the wrath of God through His sufferings. Jesus is the only one who could have been the substitute to make atonement for our sins. 

On the cross Jesus took on the sin of humanity. Perfection suffering for imperfect people. He became bearer of our sins. He did not deserve to suffer so much. He did it to pay our debt we could never pay. In exchange for our sin, Jesus offers His righteousness. His purity. His right standing with God. Apart from Jesus and His redemptive work on the cross nobody would ever be declared righteous. In Jesus, we are righteous. Not a righteousness of our own. A transferred righteousness. 

I am woefully inadequate to write about this. Woefully inadequate to express my gratitude to God. Woefully inadequate to fully grasp the consequences of what Jesus did for us. Woefully inadequate to spend the rest of my days in service as an act of continuous worship. 

I Don't Have Any Faith

 Those were the words spoken by Nancy (not her real name) yesterday afternoon at our 1Way detox ministry. Her full quote was, " I don't have any faith. I don't know where to go to get this faith. I don't where to begin." She was hard. Yesterday was the first time I met her. My co-worker told me she came once when I was out of town. She did not know where to find Bible passages. We had to give her page numbers. She listened but her statement made me think she had never been saved. 

To address her question, we did an overview of the Bible from creation to the resurrection. We hit the high points from Genesis through Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. We finished up that overview with the Roman road. She was ready to be saved. Jesus had softened her heart and enlightened her to gospel truth. She asked Jesus to save her. When she finished praying, her countenance changed. In addition, three people around her also asked Jesus to save them too. 

I want to state without reservation that Roman 1:14-16 is true.         

          14       I am under obligation both to Greeks and to barbarians, both to the wise and to the foolish. 

          15      So, for my part, I am eager to preach the gospel to you also who are in Rome. 

          16      For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. 

New American Standard Bible: 1995 Update (La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation, 1995), Ro 1:14–16.

I was an eyewitness to the power of God for salvation through the simple gospel message. Sin was revealed and revolted. Resistance was shoved aside in favor of repentance. Jesus took some addicts with sordid pasts and made them clean. I am not suggesting they will never sin or never battle addiction again. I am saying they are forgiven and now children of God. 

I have seen Jesus save many. Individuals and masses. Yesterday was unique. This one woman hung on every word of the Bible overview. The word of God came alive in her heart. I have seldom witnessed a person more eager to ask Jesus to save them. She prayed out loud without shame. I kid you not her countenance changed. One resident said, "Look she is glowing." I hope the Lord keeps letting me see things like that. 

She may have started with no faith and not knowing where to go to get such faith. She sure has it now. Faith starts with a relationship with Jesus. She told me later she grew up Pentecostal. When she was not filled with the Holy Spirit evidenced by speaking in tongues, she became bitter at God and drifted into a life of sin. God brought her into His family yesterday. She is leaving on Tuesday. She is not leaving the same. She is a new creation now. 

Hold Me Jesus

 I am not the man I want to be. I am not the man that God intends me to be. I have dark days when the light of hope is eclipsed by the clouds of despair. There are days when just showing up is the best I can offer. On the other hand, there are other days when my soul soars to new heights. Days when I feel connected to God in communion with Him. There are days when it is easy to take every thought captive in obedience to Christ. There are other days when toxic thoughts choke faith. 

Face it. This world is filled with battles. Daily skirmishes. Sometimes hourly fights in the foxholes of faith. The enemy never stops advancing to take new ground. He does not take days off. He's singularly focused on his mission to oppose God and His work every moment of everyday. Some days we get caught in the crossfire. 

Last night I watched a movie about the life of Rich Mullins. He lived a tormented life. He never received the approval he longed for from his father. His father ridiculed his musical talents and interests. He could never tell Rich he loved him and was proud of him. This haunted Rich most of his life. He met the love of his life in college. The relationship ended when Rich decided to go to Nashville to follow his music dreams. She married another man. Rich struggled with alcohol, cigarettes, and dark depression even as he sang to thousands and made millions of dollars with his music. He hated the popularity. 

He identified with ragamuffins. Dirty, outcast, dressed in ragged clothes. Rich typically wore a plain white t-shirt, tattered blue jeans, and often went around barefoot. He went on drinking binges. He never fit in with the contemporary Christian music industry. He was often at odds with his record label over the music he wrote. He refused to write songs just to make money. He chose to live on the salary of an average American giving the rest of his money away. He lived on an Indian reservation in Arizona in his last days when he was not touring. He died in a tragic car wreck while he was in the prime of life. 

He wrote a prayer song to God born out of his own struggles. He wrote:

Well, sometimes my life just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

So hold me, Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't you be my Prince of Peace?

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

So hold me, Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't you be my Prince of Peace?

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what you give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

I'm singing hold me, Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't you be my Prince of Peace?

I'm singing hold me, Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't you be my Prince of Peace?
You have been King of my glory
Won't you be my Prince of Peace?

I have felt that way. It's hard to make sense out of a lot of things in my life. The mountains are so big and sometimes my faith is so small. This is one of those times. I stayed up well past 3:00 a.m. watching that movie and praying. I need Jesus to hold me. When so many things are crumbling around me, I need Jesus to hold me. I feel like I beat my head against the same old walls. 

I am thankful Jesus holds me on my best days. When everything is going as it should. When blessing flow in abundance. When there is much fruit on the vine. When I am on top of the mountain. Jesus also holds me when I feel alone, when I fail, when I don't understand, and when all my dreams get shattered on the jagged rocks of reality, and when I walk through the valley. 

When I am alone with Jesus, I find peace and strength. He cast out all fears. He picks me up when I fall. He loves me even when my best is not good enough. He does not abandon me in the hard times, nor does He give up on me when I am ready to give up on myself. He still holds onto me in my guilt, shame, regret, failures, pain, sorrows, confusion, and doubts. I am thankful He holds me. He will hold you too.