Shattered Hearts and Bruised Faith

 It has been a grueling season. One of hard fought battles of faith. For many of us, especially for a young wife and mother of three boys battling cancer. From the first moment I heard about her situation God put it in my heart to fight for her. I only met her once on a night we gathered around to pray for her. I prayed for her like she was a close friend. In fact, the night we met she hugged me. We had battled together from different parts of town in prayer. 

I cannot tell you the number of nights God would wake me at 2:00, 3:00, to pray for her. I don't think I have prayed any harder for any other person for a long sustained period than I did this for this young lady. Despite bad doctors reports faith was not lost. We prayed scripture, we prayed fervently, we prayed without ceasing. We prayed with greater than mustard seed faith. 

Yesterday morning, right after I stepped down from the pulpit during the invitation, someone handed me a note informing that this young lady had died just a few moments earlier. I stood stunned. I sat down trying to process it while others were wrestling with God over things He had revealed in the message. I thought of a husband and three little boys left to cope with her loss. I thought of extended family and friends trying to make sense of it all. 

Many were moved to tears when I announced it publicly. Hearts were shattered. Broken in many pieces. It was hard to accept because so many prayed so hard for her physical healing. I have to admit my faith was bruised a little. I do not understand it. 

That does not mean that I do not trust. My heart may feel shattered for her family but not for her. I rejoice with her. I know where she is and have read about what she is experiencing in the tattered pages of my Bible. I cannot but smile when I think of how free and whole she is. It still does not make it easier for the family to live without her for the rest of their mortal lives. 

Life is cruel at times. Unrelentingly harsh. Bitter to the taste. Unflinchingly cruel. God is still good in the middle of the pain. Our hearts may break but that does not mean God has abandoned us. Our minds may not be able to comprehend why tragedies happen, but God knows what He is doing. Our faith may be bruised but God has proven trustworthy and reliable. He helps us weather the storms of life. 

So with a broken heart and a bruised faith I drag myself to the altar. I open that well worn Bible and find these words. 

I love the LORD because He hears my voice and supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, therefore I shall call upon Him as long as I live. [Ps 116:1-2] 

Even when our hearts are shattered and our faith bruised because we do not understand. He still listens. He does more than listen. He comforts. He strengthens. He consoles. He embraces. He loves us through the pain. He patiently lets us vent our frustrations and confusions. He heals broken shattered hearts and bruised faith. That is what I find today. I hope you will find the same in the day of your shattered heart and bruised faith.