Walking The Tightrope Of Faith

Here we go again. It is the same familiar routine. I seek God. He one day lays a heavy burden on me and follows that burden with a new assignment. Predictably, these assignments ALWAYS call for stepping out on the tightrope of faith with only His call and promises as a safety net.

Here I am again. Standing on the platform looking out into the adventure of God's call. So many unknowns. So many fears to overcome. Now I am still secure on safe and sure footing. God is nudging me to step out to the point of no return. Right now His call is a small embryo in my spirit. Nobody knows about it except for my wife and two trusted friends. It is such a small thing at this point, but daily this past week I feel it growing and consuming more of my attention and prayers.

You would think after two decades of faith walking I would be more accustomed to it. There is a dread in me to have to make this new assignment public. It is BIG. It is audacious. Right now it is safe and it is unknown. God wants it public. That means at some point I will have to take the risk of looking foolish in speaking about something out of the ordinary. He wants me to speak about something that only exists in His mind and in my heart. It will sound outlandish. Many will scoff and doubt. They always do. I will be standing out there alone, exposed, vulnerable and yet with firm resolve it is what God wills.

And, if I am honest, I have fears. So many times I have stepped out in some assignment from God and it failed. I always question if I heard God correctly. It makes me much more cautious. I don't want to fail. Two times Brenda and I tried to start churches. We labored at the first one for four years. We put everything we had into that church only to watch it die. We were left picking up the pieces of a shattered dream and shattered hearts.

We worked at planting the second church for six years. The longest I have served any church in my ministry. During that six years I went through the worst spiritual warfare of my life. So horrific that I can't even write about it. Suffice it to say I lived in spiritual darkness much of those years. That church no longer exists. Many were hurt along the way.

Now, let me ease any concerns Spring Creek. God has not called me to start another church or to even entertain leaving Spring Creek. This new assignment does not conflict with my ministry there. I am not able to say more at this time. I soon will be able to share more details.

For now I have one foot on the tightrope and the other on solid ground. Soon I will have to take the second step and take each successive step in faith. I could fall. I could be wrong. This may not be from God. I am believe it is, but I have been wrong before. I could fail again. I've crashed and burned many times in walking the tightrope of faith.

I have no choice. You see years ago I promised God I would go anywhere to do anything at any time He asked me. I meant that 20 years ago when I prayed it and I still mean it today. That one prayer has guided much of my life these past 20 years. God has also called me on it. Just thinking about the things He has called me to do makes my pulse quicken.

Jonathan Edwards made 70 resolutions that governed his life. After reading about him and his resolutions I thought I would make some. I sat down with pen and paper and prayed about my resolutions. I only came up with one. Here it. "I resolve to live by faith and when God calls me to a risky assignment to run toward it and leap trusting Him all the way." 

Like I said. I had no choice. Whether His call means getting out of bed at 2:00 a.m. through a leg cramp wake up call for the second time this week, or something bigger I have committed to obey. I have pledged my life to walking the tightrope of faith all my days.

Each time I pray through the assignment. When I became fully convinced it is from God I take a deep breath and step out to the point of no return. Here I am again. It would be easier to stay on the solid ground. The miracles are on the other side of obedience walking the tightrope of faith. Here I go again.

Hebrews 11:1 (ESV)
1  Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

Hebrews 11:6 (ESV)
6  And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.