I remember well the absolute dejection I felt on the evening of June 28, 2020. I had just preached my heart out. People sat stone hearted in the pews. No-one moved. No visible response. I exited both tired and devastated. Not that I have not seen my share of barren altars over the past three decades. That was not the reason for my lowly state of mind. I realize God can work in hearts without anyone ever coming down front to pray. Those were not the reasons for my discouragement.
It was a culmination of months of hard labor, intense prayer, fasting, intercession, and a huge step of faith. What happened on June 28, 2020, or I should say what did not happen, sent me in a spiritual downward spiral for the next six months. I did not talk about it openly to many. I suffered in my private dungeon of depression and tried to find the key to get out unsuccessfully for months. My prayer life suffered most. Maybe some could tell. I tried to hide it. There is no other way to describe it other than to say I left the sanctuary June 28, 2020 devastated. Why you might ask?
Back in the fall of 2019 God began dealing with me about His plan to send a revival to Spring Creek. I did not receive it immediately. I have been down that road before believing God would send revival and it did not happen. So I doubted. Twice God rebuked me. Once in the prayer room. Once while driving and listening to a sermon. I had no choice but to repent and to obey.
I tried to follow instructions from the Lord about writing devotion material for the church to go through in preparation. We invited Sherman and Tami Aten to lead worship with us for the meetings. They were instrumental in the 23 day revival at Seminole. God's hand rests on them.
I put my whole soul into preparing for those days. We started on June 14th 2020. It just so happens a pandemic broke out the spring of that year and attendance dropped to about a dozen people for several months. We still forged ahead to the chagrin of some. Attendance picked up gradually. Many were scared as those days of revival meetings began.
Suffice it to say revival did not come in the summer of 2020. God did gloriously save my youngest son Turner. For that I will forever be grateful. There was no great move of God. Revival did not come. I am sure God worked. It could not be described as revival. To make matters worse, the following day I got Covid and then a dozen more people also were infected with the virus in the church and among some who attended from out of town. . Everything came to a grinding halt.
As I sat in quarantine with Brenda, I wrestled with why God did not do what I thought He told me. During those sleepless nights of incessant coughing, I also wrestled with the fact that I must not have heard from God. This only served to drive me deeper into depression. I determined then that I never wanted anything to do with revival ever again unless it was the real thing.
I eventually got over Covid and returned to Spring Creek. We labored with much smaller crowds and made the best of it. I labored and preached with a broken heart. I could not get over the lack of revival and the fact that I must have missed God totally. I tried to masquerade the pain in my heart. I am sure it seeped out in sermons.
2021 we put our noses to the grindstone to try to recapture the momentum we were experiencing in early 2020. Then it happened. Like a blindside. Totally unexpected and unsolicited. To be honest, the intrusion was not even welcomed. God hit me hard. He brought conviction, rebuke, reproof, and words I did not want to hear. "I am sending revival to Spring Creek." My heart was closed and immediately went back to the pain and devastation of June 28, 2020 when our last revival service ended without fanfare. I rejected that word with everything within me.
Over the course of the next year and a half the rebukes, reproofs, and same revival message came from the Lord. He wore me down. One day I cried out to Him from the prayer room pleading with Him to speak to me. He had been silent for weeks. His stinging response centered on my refusal to believe Him for revival at Spring Creek. Reluctantly I caved in.
More rebukes came as I doubted and retreated. I kept these things to myself. A deep secret I could not share with the church. I told a couple of really close friends who live a long way from Weatherford. I trusted them to keep my secret safe. I half heartedly believed God for revival and from time to time hinted around at it, but I dared not openly confess my secret.
God became more persistent. Dozens of dreams and visions about revival came in 2021 and early into 2022. There were also clear instructions about personal preparations to be made. I continued to doubt and repeatedly asked God to clarify. Over and over again He told me He was going to send revival to Spring Creek. Then, He began revealing things I could barely believe. Like how long it would last. How many would be saved. How the revival would spread far beyond Spring Creek. Things so outlandish I could not believe. More conviction of unbelief. More repentance.
This past Sunday after a fellowship meal, I sat with three others talking. Everyone else had already left and things were cleaned up. Krista asked, "What is wrong with. you? I can tell something is wrong." I told her she was wrong. I felt fine. I was physically exhausted from a busy weekend. I felt quite contented by what the Lord is doing at Spring Creek. She persisted with her husband Brian and daughter Eiseley listening. At some point, I shared a sneak peak about my secret concerning the coming revival.
I told them all about the 23 day Seminole revival. I shared how I believed God had something very powerful in mind for Spring Creek. Then I told them that God had shown me how long the revival would last, but that I had not told but one person. I never shared that with Brenda because it seemed a foolish pipe dream. Without hesitation Krista replied, "____." I stared in disbelief. It was the exact number God had put in my heart months before. She told me later, "It was not something I thought in my mind. The number came up out of my spirit."
Needless to say that got my attention.
I came into the office this morning to start my day with prayer. I did not want to go through another routine devotion. I cried out to God for an encounter. He gave me one. He reminded me of Bible characters He invited to join Him in exciting adventures. Each had to respond by faith. Not something I have done.
I went back through my journals from the end of 2021 and the start of 2022 and wrote down the things I sensed God had shown me. I rewrote them in one place so I could see the whole picture. I did not re-record the multiple dreams and visions. Just the things He showed me. Over and over again I read the words, "I am bringing revival to Spring Creek. I am sending revival to Spring Creek." Even as I write those words I am tempted to delete them to keep my secret safe in the confines of my heart and mind. Writing those words is my first initial step of faith.
Here is what I have liberty to share with you. Starting in March, with God's help and your faithful prayers, I will write devotional materials on this blog to prepare for revival. We will call those days "Camp Meeting." Each summer tens of thousands of children and teens go to summer camp. We do not get that luxury as adults. Consider this our summer camp. It will start slowly but build momentum. God will be gloried. If God does what He has shown me, none of us will have ever experienced anything like this. We must get ready.
I also discovered something else going through my journals. An entry when I sensed God speaking to me about the lack of revival of 2020. Two reasons. One, we did not prepare as a church like we should have. Many did not take those preparations seriously. The second reason is we were not prepared for the growth God will send as a result of those revival days. We had too many holes in the body. We were not ready.
The start date of Camp Meeting 2022 will be May 29th, 2022. Even as I wrote that I sat contemplating whether I could really hit the publish button to make this public. I paused to pray. One click and my secret is no longer safe in the shelter of my heart and mind. It will be open to criticism and skepticism. I covet your prayers. I plead with you to begin preparing yourself for what God wants to do. That includes prayer, repentance of known sin, and fasting. I ask you to take these preparations seriously. I have unloaded my secret and been obedient to what was required of me. The rest is up to God.
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