Powerless Preacher

Shame. Regret. Remorse. Repentance. That summarizes my prayer time this morning. What about you might ask?

The years I have spent in powerless ministry. I was deeply convicted that somewhere along the way I just settled into ministry. I hated the status quo and ho hum results. I detested them. Yet, I learned to accept them. I learned to just keep plodding forward week after week, month after mont and year after year. Many times I comforted myself with the fact I preached and taught Bible truth. That was enough I rationalized. WRONG. Sinfully wrong. I should have continually pleaded with God for fresh anointing and power.

It always bothered me to read how Jesus ministered in power as well as the apostles in Acts. It bothered me to read about faithful servants from the past whose names I mention often. The anointing of God rested on them. The power of God flowed through them.

Looking back over the past several years of my sin caused me to shamefully repent of lack of power. I repented of lack of even desiring that kind of power in my ministry. It all felt so out of reach and I've felt so inadequate. I just lost heart that God would put power in my life and ministry. I quit asking for it. I quit seeking it. I quit pleading with Him to move powerfully in our gatherings. Slowly I changed. I became what I always detested. Just another professional preacher. Just dutifully laboring but with few results.

Until early this morning. God showed up. He used another preacher's sermon to pierce my heart. An old preachers named Jack Hyles preaching his famous sermon "Fresh Oil." I heard that sermon over 25 years ago still young in the ministry. I pleaded with God for fresh oil and power on my ministry back then. I stayed up late pleading with God to put real anointing on me.

Then disappointments set in. Failed ministries began to pile up. Shattered dreams blinded to me to anything different. I accepted pitiful ministry fruit. I SERVE  A GREAT GOD! HE DESERVES AND IS ABLE TO WORK MIRACULOUSLY. HE IS ABLE TO SAVE THE MASSES. HE IS ABLE TO REVIVE THE CHURCH. HE IS ABLE TO AWAKEN A NATION AND NATIONS ALL AROUND THE WORLD. HE IS ABLE TO CALL THE CHURCH TO REPENTANCE. HE IS ABLE TO RESTORE THE WAYWARD. HE IS ABLE TO SATURATE HIS PEOPLE WITH HOLINESS. HE IS ABLE TO PICK PEOPLE TO SACRIFICE THE AMERICAN DREAM FOR HIS DREAM. He is able to do all of that and somewhere I lost sight of it all.

Somewhere along the way I learned to settle. I learned to live with a broken heart from empty altars and dry baptistries. I coped with small crowds. I didn't like it but I coped with it. I accepted it. I believed it was my lot in life.

This morning my eyes were opened to how far I've fallen. I repented. I cried out to God to put His hand back on my ministry. I pleaded for power. I pleaded for fresh anointing on every facet of my ministry. Prayer. Evangelism. Preaching. Teaching. Writing. All of it.

I'LL NOT BE CONTENT TO BE A POWERLESS PREACHER! NOT TODAY. NOT AGAIN.

Holy Ghost, come breathe fresh on me. Stir my mind with your truth. Great God, please do not pass me by. I live in wicked times. I am powerless to make any difference for you in my ability and strength. I ask You to endue me with power like You did the saints of old. I am not asking You for a large ministry. I am pleading with You for an effective ministry. Help me never ever ever be content to be a powerless preacher again.