A Father to the Fatherless

It is estimated over 19.5 million children grow up without a father. That is one out of every four children. This has devastating impacts on those children and society. I ought to know. I grew up the same way in the late sixties all the way through getting married. I HAVE NEVER KNOWN THE LOVE OF A FATHER. NEVER HEARD A FATHER CHEER ME ON IN ANY ENDEAVOR. 

It is hard to describe the ways this impacted me. I felt inferior. Unsure of myself. An outsider looking at the rest of the crowd. I grew up an angry and abused little boy. There were multiple sexual abuses by family members and friends of the family. On one occasion there was physical abuse. I carried the baggage from those things for decades. In some ways, I may still carry some residuals. 

What are some of the lasting effects? Growing up without a healthy esteem, feelings of abandonment, trouble connecting with others relationally, poor academic performance, lack of trusting others, and mental health issues like depression. Fatherless children are also more likely to be aggressive. That was my number one problem. I fought and scrapped seeking to earn respect. I was a little boy parents told other little boys not to play with or befriend. All my anger and fighting was just a heart cry for someone to love me and accept me. My attitude repelled others from me. 

It was hard to navigate those early childhood years especially when it came to sports. I had nobody to teach me to catch and to throw a ball. I was driven though. My maternal grandfather was the closest thing I ever had to a father growing up. When we moved in to live with my grandparents, I loved time spent with my Papaw. We both shared a love for sports. I idolized Papaw. He was a legendary sports hero in my hometown. He was what we called a four sport letterman. That means he was on the high school varsity football, basketball, baseball, and track teams. I used to get in bed with him to watch Monday Night Football and baseball games. He was the most influential figure in my life other than my mother up until I was a sophomore in high school. He died of leukemia. That totally wrecked my world because he never got to see me play one single down of varsity football. I wept uncontrollably and was inconsolable for days afterward. 

I drifted through the next year pouring my pain into sports especially football. Long will I remember that Thursday night in October of 1983. I had no idea going through that day my whole life would change that night. Most who know me know that a local youth minister came into the stands of a junior varsity football game where I watched the game with my girl friend. That guy was sent by God on a different mission than watching a football game. He was sent to share the good news of Jesus to any who would listen. Just so happens he zeroed in on me. It was the first time in my life someone clearly spelled out what the death of Jesus on the cross meant. It also was the first time I understood my need for a Savior. Jesus saved and rescued me that night in the stands while the game played out below on the field. Everything changed. 

I did not realize it then, but for the first time I actually had a Father. A Heavenly Father. One who is a Father to the fatherless like me. [Ps 68:5] How can I put into words what that has meant to me over the years. God has been the Father I never had. He loves me, counsels me, reassures me, strengthens me, helps me, provides for me, and many other things earthly fathers do for their children. Things I have done for my own children. He is patient, but also willing to chastise me when needed. He forgives and also admonishes to do better. 

There is nothing an earthly father does for his children that my Father has not also done for me. He gives me purpose. He created me with intelligent design to fulfill His ordained assignment. To preach His word, shepherd a flock, lead others to know Him, and to write truths to help people on their journey. He is a faithful Father. Always there when I need Him night or day. He is a great listener. Patient. Merciful. Kind. Strong. Everything a child, or grown up, needs in a father. 

I am humbled and thankful God brought me into His family. I brought nothing with me. I had nothing to offer in exchange for redemption and adoption. When others ignored me, cast me aside, and refused to see my worth, my Father embraced me and cleansed me. He brought me into the family and gave me a seat at His table. All the good that I am or ever do is not because of me. It is all because of Him. I only boast in Him. [Gal 6:14] I celebrate that I now have a Father who is also Father to the millions of other fatherless children out there.