Sticks and Stones

 The young man was nearly in tears. He kept beating himself up for missing shots in basketball camp. He punched the wall, fell down and stayed on the floor, and talked negatively to himself. It did not make matters any better that his older brother, who is an excellent player, was also at the camp speaking derogatorily to his younger sibling. 

When camp ended, I asked the dejected young man to stay behind. I exhorted him with all the positive things I saw in his abilities. I told him I believed in him, and more importantly, I believe in the God that lives inside him. That is when the eyes moistened and it became impossible to differentiate between the tears and perspiration running down his cheeks. I tried to build him up. The words from his older brother stung. He has been wounded with words from himself and others for a long time. 

Our words can wound or heal. Three times yesterday I got angry and spoke words that wounded. I had to apologize to those I hurt. Words do hurt no matter what the old nursery rhyme communicates. Words may not wound on the outside, but they sure do an awful lot of damage on the inside. We live in a society of the walking wounded. Children, teenagers, and adults a like. People living with gaping wounds from machine gun style words that have assaulted over and over in rapid fire. 

I can look back in my past and recall words that wounded back to my childhood. There are several that stick in my mind as an adult too. No matter how much I may try to ignore them, those wounding words hurt. and some still linger just beneath the surface.  I may not always show it on the outside, but inside I sorrow. It is true that you cannot please all the people all the time no matter how hard you try. You have to take some people with a grain of salt. 

Because I know how it feels, I do not want to be a person who wounds with my words. I want to build others up with them. I want to do that with my family, with my friends, with the flock I serve, and the messages I preach. I am not saying that speaking hard truth should be excluded. Some words offered in love firmly may sting, but they bring ultimate healing. That is far different than seeking to tear someone down with wounding words. I think encouraging people is one of the most beautiful of ministries. 

What type of words have you been speaking? Let the Holy Spirit reveal it to you. If you make a habit of building others up, especially those closest to you, I applaud you. If you are in the habit of tearing others down with the words that you say, I challenge you to repent and make restitution. A positive word that encourages may be just what the doctor ordered for some weary discouraged soul.