Seeking for Food That Does Not Perish

 In John 6, a group of people desired to take Jesus by force and make Him their king. Jesus withdrew from them perceiving what was in their hearts before they could act on their plan. Jesus knew His purpose and mission and was not swayed by popularity and success. Something that seems to be the downfall of many men of God in recent days. 

Jesus perceived why they were seeking Him. He was not content that the crowds flocked to Him. Some today would have rejoiced because their entire focus is on attracting a crowd. Jesus called those seekers out. He rebuked them for seeking Him for what He could do and not seeking Him for who He was. 

People do the same thing today. In crisis moments, how many cry out to Jesus to help them. They do not want to be saved. They are not interested in Him or His teachings. They have no intentions of becoming one of His followers. They just want what He can do for them. Afterward, most likely they will ignore Him. 

I have chewed on a question today? Why did I come to Jesus? Was it for what He could do for me or was it because of who He was? When I came to Jesus, it was because someone shared the gospel with me and pointed out my hopeless and helpless condition as a sinner condemned to hell. I came to Jesus as Savior and because I needed His help. I realized that fall evening I could never earn my way to heaven. I also understood that my sins were many and I could not atone for them. Only Jesus could do that. He opened my eyes to see the truth and stirred my faith to believe His redemptive work on the cross was for sinners like me. I faced a crisis that night but not a temporary one. I did not come to Jesus for a quick fix. To get me out of a jam so that I could go back to my heathen ways. No, I came for something eternal. Everlasting. Continuing in duration. I came to Jesus for salvation. I think it would be more suited for me to say that Jesus came to me. He sent a local youth minister named Eli Bernard to share the gospel with me. The Great Shepherd came seeking after me who was lost. I did not go seeking after Him. He grabbed my attention, had me pay attention to the simple gospel message and gave me faith to believe. 

Many bargain with God. They barter saying if Jesus will heal them or a loved one, if He will rescue them from the consequences of bad choices, they pledge to serve Him. I could not make such an offer. Once my sinfulness was revealed, I had no bargaining chips. I stood condemned in my trespasses. Nothing but the grace and mercy of God could see me through. That is exactly what He gave me. He washed away my sin, took away my guilt, declared me righteous and claimed me as His child. In the twinking of an eye, He changed me. I have not been perfect, but I have been devoted and I am redeemed by the blood of the Lamb. 

I do not seek Him for food that perishes. Sure, He has answered prayers and showered my family with blessings. That is not what I'm after. I am after Him. I want to know Him. To draw nearer to Him. To pursue Him hard. I long to be in His presence. To please Him in my service. To follow His leadership wherever He leads. Those are eternal things. They are not perishable, but imperishable. Like the old song goes, "I have found a friend in Jesus and He is everything to Me." He will last forever and I plan to enjoy forever. 

I Want to be Like Fred

 The past few blogs have been sparked by questions from a book I am reading entitled Replenish. It has made reflect on things I have not considered. I find myself eager to keep reading and to keep discovering new paths to God. The penetrating question I read this morning was, what kind of old person do you want to be? 

I have to admit that is not a question I have considered before. I have considered that, in my opinion, retirement is overrated. Unless people retire from their vocation to become full time available to God. While many people my age are looking toward the finish line of work, I feel there is still much territory to conquer with God's help. I have rejected every single piece of AARP literature with my name on it in the trash can. I am not looking to retire. I am refocused and reenergized to work for my King Jesus. Caleb said he has was as strong at 85 as he was at 40. I cannot say that. I feel aches in my joints I did not feel at 40. The Spirit of the living God is alive in me throbbing with energy and spiritual vitality though. I am just as passionate about preaching and teaching as I was as a younger man. I still get excited when Jesus saves people. I love the work God called me to do. 

What kind of old person do I want to be? Hmmm. My first thought was a joyful productive one. I do not see retirement in my future. I realize a time may come when the church I serve may think it is time to move on from an old pastor to a younger one. I will not fight them on this. At that point, I hope God will open a traveling itinerant ministry for me to keep traveling preaching and teaching like he did for George Mueller who circled the globe over a dozen times in his later years on preaching tours. If that fails, I hope God will allow me to serve churches in some capacity as interim pastor or pulpit supply. If those play out, I hope to preach a Bible study in a local church or in my home for those interested in digging into the word. There will still be souls to win and prayers to pray. I see no reason why my last years cannot be my most productive years. If my sons one day have to put me in a care facility, my plan is to take over the preaching in that facility. I plan to serve the Lord joyfully and productively until my last breath or my health breaks rendering me unable to do so any longer. 

God did not call me to minister until I was 65. He called me for life. I hope to keep writing as well as teaching the Bible until the end of my days. As long as God keeps inspiring material, I hope to keep hammering these keys with thoughts that challenge and encourage others in their walk with God. 

I do not want to become sour and bitter in my old age. I want to encourage the younger generation with Bible truth and discipleship. I know of a pastor up in the Amarillo area who is still preaching weekly into his 90's to a little flock.  That inspires me. I know of a 78 year old who just stepped down from pastoring, only because his wife was ailing and he needed to focus on taking care of her. I know of several pastors who are faithfully laboring into their late 70;s and early 80's like David Jeremiah, Jack Graham, Chuck Swindoll. The late Charles Stanley, Adrian Rodgers, and W.A. Criswell served into their twilight years. They inspire me to keep laboring for the Lord. There is more work to be done. 

Most importantly, I want to be a senior adult who is still seeking and following hard after God. I want a fresh walk with the Master. Not a stale one resting on past experiences. I do not want to coast into eternity but hit the finish line in a dead sprint of chasing hard after God to the very end. That means for prayer, more Scripture reading and meditation, more listening to the Lord, and more encounters with Him. 

I end by asking what kind of old person do you want to be? Some reading this may already consider themselves old. Fred is 80 years old. He could make excuses for not doing more. He has his own health issues, but he does not make excuses. Fred spends his Sunday afternoons at substance abuse detox center ministering to those struggling in addiction. He loves and prays for those clients. The clients love Fred. They see him as a grandfather. Many of them keep up with him once they leave. Fred is the kind of man I want to become. Still seeking, serving, and productive for my Lord when others my age have retired from everything including seeking and serving God. I want to be like Fred. 

Solomon's Quest

I invite you to check out the website www.solomonsquest.org. This is an organization where I have the privilege of serving on the board of directors. It is a discipleship method that I have used for several years. God is using it now and is making our Bible studies come alive with discussion and discovery of truth. My father in the ministry and the man who introduced me to Jesus, Eli Bernard,  interviewed me about the quest. You can find that video on the website or on YouTube. 

I hope you find it as beneficial as I have. If you are interested, please contact our leader, Eli Bernard, at the following:

eli.bernard@solomonsquest.org

This is for pastors, student pastors, small group leaders and teachers. It is well worth a visit to the website and to watch my story. 

Matt

Soul Surgeon

 Like a skilled surgeon, God has cut into my heart, removed the sins of apathy, selfish ambition, drivenness, and the need for validation. He has replaced those things with the sweet and simple desire for more of Him. 

Over the past couple of years my devotions have often felt dry, now they have become like an oasis. His presence is near and He is stirring in me the longing for more of Him. I have spent the past few days shut up with Him and trusting His work on my soul. It has been both painful and joyous at the same time. Painful because the revelation of sin brings brokenness. Joyful because He is making me whole in a way I have not experienced in some time. Times of prayer have become passionate and fervent again. I long to linger with Him again. 

I had to take an honest look at myself. I did not like what I saw. God used a few simple questions to force me to take inventory of my life. 

1. Why am I so driven?
2. Why do I keep pushing so hard?
3. How has my driving to succeed hurt my family?

The answers took me deep into my soul. I found the roots going all the way back to my childhood. It all started with one conversation with my mother. She once told me as a little boy, "If you are a great football player everyone will like you." I am not sure what she meant to communicate. I can only tell you how I interpreted her words. If you perform well and succeed, people will like you. That started a competitive drive in me that manifested itself this morning. Turner and I were in the weight room and he asked me how many reps I did on one exercise. I did not tell him. He sat down and started pushing out repetitions. Not to be outdone, I knew in my head where he probably stopped even though he did not tell me. I went to that point at 30 then pushed out five more just to beat him. We increased the weight substantially. I counted as he did 12 reps. He smiled in another challenge. It took everything in me, but I barely managed 13. 

I have been driven all my life to prove people wrong. My greatest fear is to be looked at as a failure or lazy. This got to the point where I set goals. In my drive to accomplish goals like reading the Bible, I became obsessed with how much I was reading and not on reading for God to speak to me. I don't brag about it, but in the margin of my Bible I have a list of the number of times I've read through the Bible and the dates I completed this. This is for my boys to see when they get my Bibles after I'm gone. My hope is that it will inspire them to read God's word. My drive pushed me to read in a way where I not getting as much out of it because of the drive to read more and faster. 

Today I had to slow down. I only read two chapters in Psalms, but those two chapters fed my soul more than the ten chapters I read the day before. The reason I am so driven is rooted in the need to be validated that I am doing a good job. I did not hear that as a child and have spent much of my adulthood working to feel worth. I lost sight that my worth is already established on the cross and God's salvation of my soul. I needed the Soul Surgeon to come do His handiwork in me. I know there is more to come. The outcome will be a healthier soul. From that healthy soul will flow life-giving ministry. The surgeon's scapula is not pleasant, but it does lead to eventual healing. That is something I have needed for some time. 

A Work in Progress

 We all have a public persona. This is who we are, or at least who we pretend to be, when people are watching us. There is also our private person. Who we really are when no one is looking. Sometimes the two do not match up. To keep that from happening we ask ourselves how is it with our souls. 

Our soul is our whole being. It encompasses the heart, emotions, the mind, will and our passions. The soul of a person is the essence of our being. It is tempting to let the soul be corrupted by neglect as we focus on the external behaviors that everyone can see. When the soul is neglected, we begin to rot from within. This can lead to apathy, spiritual lethargy, and sometimes even hypocrisy. 

People see the outside. They see how we perform, what we accomplish, and the way we portray ourselves. God sees all of that, but He also sees the interior soul. He knows if we are just faking it. He sees right through pretense and playacting. Sadly, there seems to be a lot of that going on in the church these days. The focus is on getting people in the seats instead of getting Jesus cultivated souls in right relationship with Him through salvation and intentional discipleship. 

I was presented the question how it was with my soul in a book I began last week. When I did an honest inventory of my soul I did not like what I discovered. My soul was withered to some extent because of a devastating experience I had a couple of years ago. An experience I have not talked about publicly and tried to hide. It is nothing sinful. It not something immoral I engaged in. It was something that wrecked my faith. The real truth is that for two years, prayer has been hard. Where I used to pray for hours in the past, there have been times when I struggled to pray for a few minutes. Prayers for God to speak to me, to reveal His counsel and will have been met with deafening silence. The motivation to pray ebbed to a multi-decade low. Many times I languished to pray through, to get a breakthrough with God, even after I read His word, sat before in silence for hours listening, and most times I came away with no healing for my wounded soul. 

I do not blame God. The fault is with me. The wound in my soul has been so deep, I limped along in prayer. Confused, broken, devastated, and with an impotent faith on many days. That little question in that book forced me to deal with this. To bring the wounds of my soul to the open. To have some really raw conversations with God. To have to look at myself and to see how far I have fallen. 

Prayer was my passion. I love to preach about it, write about it, teach about it, and testify about prayers answered. I have not done that for two years. Nobody seemed to notice. Nor have I had fresh testimonies to share of God glorifying God sized answers to prayer either. The truth is it has not been well with my soul for some time. 

On top of that, I overcommitted myself. At one point, I was preaching or teaching nine times every week. I always had somewhere to be and something else to do. Quiet times got squeezed in between the next appointment. All the while, my soul shriveled more and more. Wise counselors told me I was doing too much and that it was going to impact my health. Slowly I started evaluating the things I was doing. I made the hard decisions to step away from some things. Now I am prayerfully seeking restoration of my soul in God's presence. This is not just a one time jump start. I did not get here overnight and the full restoration process may not happen over night. 

I want the public and private side of me to match up. That means long sustained times alone with Him. That means letting God's Spirit massage my waning faith back to strength. 

Recently, Turner told me an exercise one of his professors from college had them do in class. He required all the students to describe themselves in three words. Some described themselves as funny, athletic, talented, intelligent, friendly and so forth. Turner's answer was reflective and mature. He described himself as, "Work in progress." That describes me as well. I am thankful that God who began that work in me 41 years ago is still at it. I am still a work in progress. [Phil 1:6] It is better with my soul today than last week. God is helping me to trend in the right direction. I am just a His work in progress. 

A Test

 God tests us. We read about that in scripture numerous times. He stretches us, moves us beyond our level of comfort, and proves our faith. Do we really trust Him? My own journey of faith has been a roller coaster ride. Euphoric moments of victories and deep dips into doubt and discouragement. I have learned a lot over the years. Tremendous lessons of how to navigate the tests when faith is tried. I have even learned to embrace them, because on the backside of these tests God does His amazing work. 

Brenda and I are right in the middle of one of those tests now. It is not that she is recovering from knee replacement surgery. It is not even the fact that she is facing needing the other knee done as soon as she heals from this surgery. Those are challenges in and of themselves. 

Our current test is different in nature. The particulars are not important. What is important is that God reminded us other other day that He is still working in the form of 100. Again, the specifics are not important. I will soon be able to write in greater detail about it, but not at this time. 

I am thankful that God not only does test us, but that He does not abandon us in the middle of those tests. He comes through for us. He strengthens us as our resolve wanes. He comforts us in our pain and confusion. He sustains us when we are at the end of our resources. He gives us peace when chaos rages all around us. He is our hiding place when we need a place to rest and be refreshed.

I have such peace in our test. I look back on God's faithfulness over and over again in our lives. He will see us through. He will come through. He will step in and save the day. He will make a way. He will move our mountain. He will glorify His name when all is said and done. So I thank Him advance. The answer is on the way. What a day of rejoicing that will be. Until then I pray, I trust, and I rest in His character. He will not fail. May He strengthen Brenda and I to pass the test. Then we will brag on Him for what He does. I see it by faith even now. 

You of Little Faith

 God is continually stretching, growing, and testing my faith. Sometimes the trials are easy. Other times, they require serious prayerful seeking for help. Sadly, there are times when I need faith the most I find my faith lacking. I am at times one with little faith. I hate that fact. I want to be a man of great and consistent faith. 

To be a person of great faith I must endure great trials. I have for three decades. About the time I think I have it all down, or I try to convince the Father that I need a break, a respite from the testing, the next faith examination surfaces. Right now I am enduring five tests that keep me asking, seeking and knocking. 

In my younger years, my faith rose and fell based on the tests. When God came through in some powerful fashion, my faith would soar. When the next trial came I would doubt and spiral downward. I am more consistent in my faith now, but I have grown accustomed to prayers not being answered. I cannot say I always ask God fervently. I pray, but I know there are times when those prayers are not fueled with faith. I am just mouthing words. 

In my current trials, I have determined not to stress, not to cower in doubt or anxiety, and most importantly not to doubt God. Just today, He spoke to me twice from His words reassuring me that He knows the trials and already has it all worked out. I just can't see it yet. If my faith was in my abilities, I would have little hope. Because my faith is in God, I have all the hope imaginable. Nothing is impossible with Him. He can move any mountain, open any door, provide any need, heal any disease, cure any ailment, reveal the path of His will, save any lost person, renew any dead congregation, reconcile any relationship, and thousands of other things just like them. 

Based on God's track record of faithfulness in the Bible and in my own life, I should not be a man of little faith. I must be a man of big faith, growing faith,  and gigantic faith. He has earned the right to be trusted. No matter what I face. He is bigger and better than all of it. He is the greatest force in the universe and He is my ally. I do not have to pass my tests in my ability. I rely on Him and His strength. I wait for Him to flex His divine muscle and do the very things I need Him to do. Then, the fun begins. I get to brag on Him. I get watch people listen to testimonies of His faithfulness in disbelief. 

I embrace the path of faith. I welcome the trials as an opportunity to watch God do something amazing again. I welcome the chance to have an enlarged platform to testify of His enduring faithfulness again and again and again. Maybe when He does come through for me and I get to tell the story, it will encourage someone else with little faith to trust Him more. He even told us a little faith could move mountains. Our faith must be smaller than little faith. May He increase our belief and cast away our unbelief. We will wait and see what happens next. 

Passion

 One definition for passion is a strong and barely controllable emotion. This could be good or bad depending on what a person is passionate about. A person passionate about sin and sinning will find a path of destruction. A person passionate about knowing and following the Lord Jesus will lead to a full and abundant life. I am advocating for passion in knowing and following Jesus. 

I heard a worship song with the following words in them a long time ago; Give me one holy passion, give me one magnificent obsession, ... to know and follow hard after you. When I heard that song it expressed the deepest longing in my soul. I have many shortcomings. I am not the most eloquent. I am not the most diplomatic. I certainly am not the most educated. The one thing God seemed to give me a double portion of is passion. I feel a passion for God far beyond what I can express in words. When I preach and teach, I feel the truth in my soul as much or more than just in my head. Brenda says when I preach and teach, that I do so with my whole body. 

How can every true child of God NOT be boiling with passion for Him and His word? It boggles my mind how much lukewarmness exists in the houses of God today. Nothing should stir us more or deeper than getting to pursue knowing God day in and day out. He invites us to know Him. To pursue Him. To follow hard after Him. This is the greatest adventure or quest any of us could take. Knowing God is far different from knowing about God. 

There are scores of people sitting in church houses who have spent decades learning about God. They know many of the Bible stories by heart because they have heard them over and over again. Sadly they are apathetic, lifeless, passionless, and not pleasing to the Lord. Bible study and worship are boring to many of these people. How could that be? The simple answer is that they aren't living in a dynamic and growing relationship with the Lord. They may keep a religious routine weekly, but that does not mean they are communing with the Lord. The same is true of many preachers. Even though they open the Bible to study for messages, they do not all read devotionally and they visit the prayer closet infrequently. Few even notice the sham. 

When I get around passionate seekers of God, I see something different in them. They have a spiritual depth, a diligent focus, sanctified priorities, and they talk of God encounters that are foreign to most, but a available to us all. Passion is the zeal to not be satisfied with current levels of knowledge of the Holy One. Passion gets a person up early to turn those pages in the Bible ravenously eating up the truth. Passion is locking out all other distractions as one goes to the secret place for serious prayer. Passion is spending as much time listening in prayer as asking. Passion is taking the fresh revelation of God and sharing it with others in a gospel witness, a Bible study group, a testimony, or with a family member or close friend. 

Don't substitute passion for mere emotionalism. Many get emotional in worship. My great Uncle Buddy, who was a Nazarene preacher, often told me, "I don't care how high you jump on Sunday, how straight do you walk on Monday through Saturday." Emotions wear off. Passion is fueled by the fresh fire of new God encounters daily. Passion is needed in the pew and the pulpit today. Sometimes I wonder if the preachers really believe the things they are preaching? Do the pew dwellers really believe that they sing or hear preached. Such do not know what they are missing. They settle when they were created by a passionate God for people who would follow Him with passion.

Passion is dripping off the verses of Psalm 42:1-2. Like a dear longing for drink of water, our hearts should long for our God. Nothing or no-one can satisfy like He does. Will we ask Him to fill us with passion. To pursue Him with passion. To serve and worship with passion. To follow Him all our days with passion. He deserves all of that and more. 

Wherever He Leads I'll Go

 We sing that old hymn from time to time Wherever He leads I'll go. It is not wherever I lead, or I wish, or I plan. It is wherever He leads. Make no mistake about it. He is always leading. We never know when God will show up and invite us to an assignment of His choosing. Wherever He leads. 

As an eighteen year old student, I never dreamed that would mean God inviting and calling me to preach. I recently relived that calling in an interview with my mentor. It seemed just like yesterday. Truth is it was 39 years ago. I have followed that calling on my life for nearly four decades. I do not know where He will lead from day to day. Over the past near 40 years I started as a junior high boys Sunday school teacher. I became a youth ministry intern. I served two churches as a youth minister. I have served as a pastor and church planter for three decades. I also spent some time as a full time traveling preacher. Along the way I followed Jesus' calling to write. Wherever He led I sought to go. 

I just know I am committed to go. Wherever He leads. It does not matter where or doing what. Sometimes that means to the prayer closet in the wee hours of the night. Sometimes that means to a hospital for a visit. I have spent whole nights in the hospital ministering to people who were sick or in tragic accidents. Sometimes going means out of town for a preaching invitation. At times, it has meant leaving the country. On several occasions it has meant moving to different towns for a different field of service. 

In recent days, it has meant serving my wife as she recovers from surgery. It meant changing ice in her ice machine first thing today. It meant cooking breakfast, making her coffee, and making sure she had water on her table. It also meant helping her in and out of the shower. It meant driving her to Dallas for a post operation doctor visit. She is progressing nicely. She is my first ministry. 

Now, He is leading me to write. Some want to qualify where they will follow Jesus. According to I Cor 6:19-20, we are not our own. He owns us. He can help Himself to our lives anytime He wants. We are always to be on standby waiting for our next marching orders. Yesterday, it meant sharing my testimony on video. 

One of the verses in that old hymn is though none go with me I still will follow. Not all church people are dedicated to going where He leads. They prefer to drop anchor in a pew and become rooted in comfortable apathy. Sometimes He leads down some rough patches. The sacrifice and suffering are great. The reward for following is greater. 

Sunday morning it meant listening to many heavy laden people. From the time I walked in my office just before 8:00 a.m. until well after the service ended, I talked to many people who needed a listening ear. Sometimes the Lord leads us to people who are broken, hurting, confused, and needing some spiritual guidance. 

The world behind me and the cross before me. Some people in the world would consider Brenda and I rich. We are not poor. We certainly do not live in the lap of luxury. Every member of my family drives a car with 150,000 miles on it. Two drive ones with over 200,000 miles on them. Our oldest vehicle is 20 years old. Our newest is 9. We do not own our home. We live in a house the church provides. We are not well set up for retirement. Retirement does not seem to be an option at this point. I must preach until the end. Serving God has never been about money. We have gone wherever He called us no matter what the salary. Twice in the last decade we served churches that could only afford $500 a week. One of those churches we drove seven hours one way each weekend to minister for months. Somehow God provided and we made it. Twice in our ministry when we owned our own home God has called individuals to make our house payments for us without our asking. We have lived with abundance and we have learned to suffer need. God has been true and faithful in both instances. We are learning to be content in all circumstances. It has never or will ever be about the money. 

I am not saying that we do not need money to survive like everyone else. I am saying that when churches could not afford to provide adequately for us, God made up the difference in other ways. Marvelous and astounding ways. We are a faith family and we are committed to taking faith steps when called to do so. We do not have to have our own home or the latest and greatest. We have the Lord. We have one another. We have His promises and His faithfulness in keeping those promises. That is enough. Even when we are required to bear our cross for a while. We must mind a little suffering. It will all be worth it in the end. Until then, no turning back. No turning back. Wherever and whenever He leads we will joyfully go. 

The Feast

 The places were set. The invitations were extended. One by one the guests showed up. Each took their seat at the table waiting for the feast to begin. They made small talk as they waited. Some were old friends. Some were new acquaintances. All were warmly received as they waited to eat. 

At the appointed time, a prayer was offered and the meal was served. Rich, savory, nourishing, and scrumptious to the taste. People all around the table ate until they were satisfied. In the end, there was so much to eat, boat loads were left over saved for another meal. 

The fellowship around the table made the feast all the more enjoyable. Make no mistake. The feast was the central attraction. Some came hungrier than others. All ate to their content. No matter how satisfied each person was when they left, they will get hungry again.

This feast was different. Instead of roast beef, mashed potatoes, brown gravy, green bean casserole, and carrots, different food was placed on the table. A unique meal that some might turn their nose to eating. A delicacy in certain parts of the world. 

Let me set the menu before you. A book. Not just any book. A living and active book. A holy book. To be more specific a section in the book from the Gospel of John and chapter five. An expository study of solid meat from the teachings of Jesus about Himself. The discussion among those in attendance sharpened one another. The truth was like a soul nourishing heart meal. A feast. 

For those who choose to do so, this feast is offered multiple times over around the world. The bountiful feast of studying the scriptures. A feast I love to serve as well as partake in myself. So much to learn and so little time to learn it. The Bible is an inexhaustible source of truth and revelation. The table is set with life changing soul transforming truth that satisfies the hungriest of hearts. It is a feast that surpasses Thanksgiving. I hope you dig in for yourself. [Ps 119:103] [Ps 119:127] [Ps 119:169]

Sticks and Stones

 The young man was nearly in tears. He kept beating himself up for missing shots in basketball camp. He punched the wall, fell down and stayed on the floor, and talked negatively to himself. It did not make matters any better that his older brother, who is an excellent player, was also at the camp speaking derogatorily to his younger sibling. 

When camp ended, I asked the dejected young man to stay behind. I exhorted him with all the positive things I saw in his abilities. I told him I believed in him, and more importantly, I believe in the God that lives inside him. That is when the eyes moistened and it became impossible to differentiate between the tears and perspiration running down his cheeks. I tried to build him up. The words from his older brother stung. He has been wounded with words from himself and others for a long time. 

Our words can wound or heal. Three times yesterday I got angry and spoke words that wounded. I had to apologize to those I hurt. Words do hurt no matter what the old nursery rhyme communicates. Words may not wound on the outside, but they sure do an awful lot of damage on the inside. We live in a society of the walking wounded. Children, teenagers, and adults a like. People living with gaping wounds from machine gun style words that have assaulted over and over in rapid fire. 

I can look back in my past and recall words that wounded back to my childhood. There are several that stick in my mind as an adult too. No matter how much I may try to ignore them, those wounding words hurt. and some still linger just beneath the surface.  I may not always show it on the outside, but inside I sorrow. It is true that you cannot please all the people all the time no matter how hard you try. You have to take some people with a grain of salt. 

Because I know how it feels, I do not want to be a person who wounds with my words. I want to build others up with them. I want to do that with my family, with my friends, with the flock I serve, and the messages I preach. I am not saying that speaking hard truth should be excluded. Some words offered in love firmly may sting, but they bring ultimate healing. That is far different than seeking to tear someone down with wounding words. I think encouraging people is one of the most beautiful of ministries. 

What type of words have you been speaking? Let the Holy Spirit reveal it to you. If you make a habit of building others up, especially those closest to you, I applaud you. If you are in the habit of tearing others down with the words that you say, I challenge you to repent and make restitution. A positive word that encourages may be just what the doctor ordered for some weary discouraged soul. 

Cuffs and Coffins

 Have you considered lately where you would be if you had never met the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Savior? It is a worthwhile reflection. I know I was headed down a wrong road fast. I would never have discovered the life I have now. I dated a girl who was not saved. Very few in my family, except a great uncle and aunt, were followers of Jesus. I saw alcoholism on both sides of my family. Physical and sexual abuse were rampant. I idolized football and devoted my life to it. It had been years since I had darkened the door of a church before the night Jesus saved me and moved me to believe Him for salvation. 

Like one person recently told me, I was saved from cuffs and a coffin. I can see that for myself. I had a temper and loved to fight. I can see if I continued on my course without Jesus, I could have been arrested for assault. I once got in a fight in a neighborhood in the middle of the street and the police did show up. I did not get arrested, but I did spend some time in a hospital from knocking my opponent's tooth out and getting blood poisoning. I still have the scar on my knuckle. 

I did many foolish things before I met Jesus. Like hotrodding my truck and jumping a small wooden bridge you could clear with all four tires in the air if you got up enough speed. In hindsight, I could have been killed. While I never drank, I ran with many who did and rode in the vehicle with them. A boy we played with when were younger did the same thing and died burning to death in a car crash. It could have just as easily been me. 

Jesus rescued me from a life in the gutter. I certainly would have never met and married Brenda. I would not have had the four sons who bear my last name. I would not have met any of the friends I hold dearest in my heart. All of those things because of Jesus. Everything I have good in my life I owe to Him. My family, my purpose, my friends all came to me as blessings from the One who gave His all to purchase my redemption. 

Therefore, I see it as my privilege and duty to devote to my life to following Him. Today, that meant driving Brenda to physical therapy and then leading a basketball camp. In a couple of hours I will follow Him in teaching from John 5. My pledge to Jesus is to follow Him anywhere at anytime to do anything. That is not just lip service. I mean that to the core of my being. It is the reason I devote Sunday afternoons to sharing Him and His word at a substance abuse detox center. Many have come to know Jesus in that dark place. I want others to find the same One who saved me from cuffs and a coffin too. 

My First Ministry

 I have served as a pastor for 28 years all over the state of Texas. I've experienced the thrill of joyous celebrations of God's movements and heart wrenching sorrows from suffering saints in the flocks. What is my first ministry? Outside of my relationship with God, it is my wife followed closely behind with my children. 

I have been serving in a different ministry these past few days. Brenda had knee replacement surgery on July 10. She has endured the excruciating pain with grit and resolute determination. She has overcome and over achieved in these first initial days of recovery. My ministry has been to her. In the hospital to console and comfort fears. To encourage her as she took her first initial steps. To be her chauffeur. To bring her meals, add fresh ice in her cooling machine, to eat meals in our bedroom together, to gently push her past her comfort level in her rehabilitation exercises and to remind her I love her. I even learned to make her coffee, though I overfilled her cup spilling hot coffee all over my hand. Not my finest moment. Maybe I am becoming one of those baristas. The things we do for love. 

Before I ever was a pastor or even a youth pastor, there was Brenda. That brown eyed beauty stole my heart on the campus of Howard Payne University. We talked about God  and our future together as we strolled around the campus at night. We became not just romantically in love, but we also became best friends. That is still true today 33 years later. We love just being together. It really doesn't matter what we are doing. We enjoy talking, going to the movies, out eating out,, serving Jesus, and I even take one for the team by going shopping. Now, with a new knee she will definitely be able to shop until I drop. 

We just celebrated our 33rd wedding anniversary a couple of weeks ago. We are still madly in love. So in this season, my priorities have changed. She is my priority. She needs to know I value her above my job, above others, and I want to serve her as I have served others for decades. 

She is fiercely independent. She is a servant who always gives. It is hard for her to receive. The church has rallied our family with meals, cards, and much prayer. They love her. Everyone who knows her loves her. I don't know if I have ever met anyone who did not like my wife. She is one of the most likable people in the world. I saw her ministering to someone at physical therapy yesterday choosing to ignore her pain in order to comfort a lady her grief. I am blessed to get to share life with her. I am also blessed to get to serve her like she has served me for over three decades.  She is my first ministry. I am honored to be her husband first and her pastor second. When God gave me her, He gave me the second greatest blessing of my life next to my salvation. 

Once she gets healed, I will not be able to keep up with her. I better get my stamina level increased. She did so much for others with terrible knees. Devil watch out when she gets mobile again. She is and will always be my first ministry.