Have you ever yearned for something so badly that it hurt? Your desire throbbed and ached deep inside you. You felt the weight of that longing much deeper than just in your mind. It pulsated through you night and day. It consumed you. Propelled you to keep asking and believing God for it.
That sums up what God has been doing in me since the day I returned to Spring Creek as pastor. Many know that I served this church as youth minister from 1991-1993. God did a marvelous work in that student ministry. We grew from 6 students to 45. Most of those new students were gloriously saved and added to the church through baptism. I didn't know anything back then, but God was pleased to pour His Spirit out on us. Those students became a powerful force in their school. It has been an honor to come back to this church as pastor.
From the first week I sat in the office close to three years ago, God stirred me with a yearning for His reviving work. I have often been awakened between 2:00-4:00 am to cry out for His fresh work among us. He put dreams in my heart in the night watches about what He intended to do. He stirred a consuming vision in me I have been sprinting toward since. As I write this, I feel we are on the verge of God breaking through.
Like a wrecking ball that slams against a wall repeatedly. At first, it may not appear anything is happening. When the ball slams against the wall, the tiny cracks weakening the structure may not be visible to the eye. The persistent ramming of that ball against the wall continues to compromise the stability. With repeated hits, the wall eventually falls into a heap of rubble.
God through His Spirit is slamming against us night after night. The cracks in our stubborn pride may not be visible to the naked eye. Night after night God jackhammers His word into us. Each night softening the soil. Sowing seeds of truth. Until it takes root, and we yearn for more of Him. More than we yearn for anything else.
A yearning that supersedes sleep. A longing far greater than hunger pangs at dinner time. An intense craving that propels us to rearrange priorities, to forsake other things for the purpose of seeking Him, and to be inconvenienced with worship attendance night after night. It is a yearning that only God can put in the heart of people.
To live with this burden night and day, week after week, month after month, and year after year takes a toll. My wife commented one time that I have grown much more serious and am not as much fun. When God grips your heart with a burden that drives you continually, you grow serious. You live with a broken heart. You feel the sorrow God feels for a nation unraveling. You weep tears of intercession. You are angered by the systematic satanic shakedown of our society.
The yearning for God to sweep across the land in spiritual awakening consumes me. It is a costly yearning. It hurts each time we gather and wrecking ball slams against us again, but the breakthrough does not happen. I fall into bed exhausted. I often sit at my desk seeking God for the next revival message unable to concentrate. Prayers are soulish cries for God to have His way. Night after night I preach what He gives yearning for the walls to crumble. Many nights I leave sorrowed that it did not happen. Each morning I muster the courage to start the whole process again. That is the depth of my yearning. May it move God to breakthrough at long last.
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