21 Years Ago

It just hit me what happened 21 years ago. It was this week. Friday to be exact. I got one of those phone calls you can't forget. Bad news. Another tragedy and I needed to get to the hospital fast. I was tired. I had just returned home from a hospital visit two hours from home.

I grabbed the keys and raced out the door speeding to the hospital. I went to the emergency room to meet with the family. The loved one deceased. The body remained on the gurney. Only this time it was different. The dead person on the table was my mother. After battling heart disease for years she finally got healed in heaven. It was the Friday before Mother's Day 21 years ago.

She never met Tucker or Turner. She died when Tanner was three months old and held him once.  She kept Taylor for the first two years of his life. It's hard for me to fathom that three of my four boys she never got to know. She would have loved them. She also would have spoiled them.

That's 21 Mother's Days I have missed with her. That is 21 years of birthdays and family get togethers we never shared. She still lives in mind. I have many of her best recipes. One bite of those dishes takes me back home and I am a little boy sitting at Mama's table all over again.

I miss our picnics at the lake, trips to the zoo, and family vacations. They were never extravagant in hindsight but they fill my head with wonder. I recall her working hard as a single mother to earn her nursing degree. She had her first heart attack when I was in college. I was preaching a revival in Minnesota when I got a call I needed to go back home early. I was shook up on that return trip back. As soon as I got back in town I went to the hospital. It was not easy for me to see her there.

Just a few months before she died she had another heart attack. She remained unconscious for several minutes until the ambulance got there. Again I was out of town. This time she spent two weeks in ICU in a coma. We stayed for days on end and prayed. The doctors were not optimistic but Mama pulled through. As the doctors feared she suffered brain damage.

My once lively, intelligent and fun mother became like a child. I visited her daily but never knew if she really knew me. I had to feed her once they got off the feeding tube. That was surreal. The mother who fed me, cooked for me, supported me, and sacrificed for me but the tides had turned. Now it was my time to serve her. It was not always easy. Some days she was belligerent. Eventually they had to restrain her hands because she become combative. At times she gnashed her teeth at me and gnawed at the restraints on her hands when she could get them near her mouth. Very hard to recall those days.

I had to put her in a care facility. She was only in her mid fifties. She always seemed pleased when I came to visit but she could not communicate intelligently. It was frustrating. Yet I treasure those memories 21 years later that God gave me the opportunity to honor my mother in her last days.

Then I got that call. The call that terminated my earthly relationship with my mother. I preached her funeral. I bragged on her and then bragged on Jesus who saved her. My mother was not perfect and she and eye definitely had our differences. But 21 years later I wish I could spend Mother's Day with her. I wish I could introduce her to Tanner, Tucker and Turner. I wish she could see the man Taylor grew into she probably could not foresee when she kept him the first two years of his life. Now he is the kitchen baking with his girlfriend. Taner and Tucker are taking finals at college this week. Turner is finishing strong the last few weeks of the school year.

Mother's Day will never be the same for me. It sneaks up on me sometimes before I remember my Mama died this coming weekend 21 years ago. I am not alone. Many people no longer have their mothers to celebrate this time of year. While others rejoice with theirs there are a few of us who have holes in our hearts this time of year. If you still have your mother please cherish her this weekend and beyond. Do not take that blessing for granted.