Darkness

She awoke to a clear, bright, and sunny morning. Her mood did not reflect the weather. She felt dark inside. Alone, Abandoned. Without hope. Her husband had left for work long before she awoke. She had little will to even get out of bed and bravely face the day. It was like something was holding her down and weighing on her more than the comforter on the bed. She laid there starting at the walls for some time. Wondering what difference, it would really make if she decided to get up and try to be productive. Even fake it around other people. 

Everything felt like a chore. Making the bed. Showering. Picking out clothing. Making her way to the kitchen where soon hungry little munchkins would be up wanting something to eat before school. She choked back her inner feelings as she dutifully put out some pop tarts and milk. She got the kids to school and then wondered what she would do with the rest of the day. She wanted to go back home with the blinds closed to sit in the darkness. She knew that would only make matters worse. 

She chose to drive to a little out of the way coffee shop. She purchased her favorite flavored coffee and made her way to an isolated corner table. She opened the Bible app on her phone where her eyes rested on this verse. 

Psalm 42:5 (NASB)

⁵  Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him For the help of His presence.

Her mind was disturbed, in turmoil, like a hurricane of hopeless thoughts swirling around inside. Nobody could see what she was thinking. Overwhelmed, underappreciated, unloved, and hopeless. She could not fight back the tears she held inside all morning. Slowly they welled up in her eyes and then trickled down her cheeks. Each drop filled with the pain and darkness of her soul. She kept trying to brush the tears away trying to hide her condition from those around her. It did not work. 

On the far side of the coffee shop a lady looked up from her journal writing to scan those sitting around her. She noticed the lady on the far side weeping and trying to hide the tears from everyone else. Suddenly she felt the Holy Spirit nudge her to leave her journal and to seek to minister to the weeping woman. She tried to ignore the prompting not wanting to intrude or get involved. The nudging persisted until she knew she had to obey God. 

Nervously she sauntered up to the weeping woman. Softly she said, "Excuse me. I wondered if you needed a shoulder to cry on. I am willing to listen." The weeping woman looked up with red swollen eyes and a defeated countenance. Sheepishly she nodded she did. For the next half hour she poured out a broken heart, shattered dreams, and a broken spirit groped in darkness. 

It was hard to listen to, but the ministering woman noticed the Bible app opened to Psalm 42:5. She gently began expounding the truth of that verse to the broken woman cloaked in inward darkness. Word by word they dissected the verse like a student dissecting a specimen in biology. With each word and phrase explained the broken woman stopped sobbing. She listened intently. The truth of God's word was medicine for her condition. A perfect verse, showing up at the right season, and an available servant of the Lord being available at the perfect time. 

Turns out the broken woman was a child of God. Blood bought and redeemed. Truth, is she had no one to talk to. Her husband worked all the time. When he got home, he ate and then did more work before falling into bed exhausted. Relationships she had at her church were all superficial. She did not trust anyone enough to share her ongoing struggle with depression. For some reason she trusted this complete stranger enough to spill her soul. 

The two ladies prayed together. An interesting thing happened. Neither lady had noticed clouds moving in indicating an approaching storm. The weather earlier had been picture perfect. Another interesting thing happened as the two ladies prayed. The darkness lifted from the broken woman. Hope surfaced from the depths of her soul. Though storm clouds were brooding outside, everything looked brighter, happier and more hopeful. 

They both exchanged contact information and went their separate ways. The darkness lifted for one, the joy of being a vessel for God to the other. 

A Modern Tale - Matt Edwards