Under Assault

 Last night was not a good night. The constant assaults I have been under for the past several months associated with revival finally took their toll. The pain of it all spilled out. It was awkward. Not cohesive. Laced with pain and confusion I have lived with for some time. It came spilling out publicly in confession. 

One dear brother came to me in my office afterward to pray for me. Several encouraged me in the foyer and outside on the front porch. Others texted to tell me they were praying for me. 

I awoke with a pained heart. Yearning for God. This is where I have felt the most assault in the past several weeks. When I pray I am unable to focus. I often fall asleep. I do not hear from God. My thoughts go in a hundred directions on everything but God and prayer. I have pleaded for God to help me out. My faith has been wounded. Making prayer feel forced, dutiful instead of delightful. I am sad to report I prayed prayers I knew I did not believe when they left my lips. 

I questioned God. Languished in confusion and disillusion. I tried to pray through. It all felt hopeless. I knew I needed God, but God did not appear interested in meeting me. I doubted everything about the camp meetings I once believed so confidently and passionately. Everything felt like I was going through the motions. Numb.  

I felt a little spark of hope in prayer this morning. Then God pulled the veil that hung like curtains over my eyes. I finally saw clearly. Satan used demonic attacks to keep me from praying, to keep me from believing, to keep me from effective ministry. Suddenly, I saw that if the leader was taken out, soon others would fall too. Only the adversary did not know Spring Creek. These people rallied around their pastor. They stood in the gap for me. God heard and intervened. God broke through around mid morning today.  

The oppression lifted. I was able to pray forcefully as I have done in the past. Hope surfaced. Peace returned. Passion rekindled. God's word came alive on the pages filling me once again. For the first time in sometime, I prayed offensively and not defensively. My attitude soared. 

The spiritual war still rages on. The battle for Spring Creek and Parker County will not be won easily. Our enemy is well trained and fights savagely to protect ground he has grained. I am determined to see him driven out. Like soldiers advancing on D-Day, I press forward in this fight of faith surrounded by an army of prayer warriors battling at my side. I am thankful for the grace of God to pull me out and for a warring prayer-minded church to fight this spiritual battle on my behalf. 

More

 We live in a more society. More being defined as a greater amount or degree of something. People want more money. More stuff that money buys. More pleasure. More entertainment. More success. More gadgets and gizmos. More and more. Always wanting more. 

I am thinking of one thing it seems people want less. God. A little bit of God seems to suffice for most folks. A little taste of salvation. A little of religion. Less God encounters. Less pursuit of Him. Less desire for more of Him. 

There is so much more available to us. More of God than we can possibly imagine. We settle for less when He offers more. We are far too easily amused with this world to be fascinated by the God of the universe. We settle for the stale crumbs of religion day after day, week after week, and year after year. We chase after more of what we think will fulfill us. We chase after the wind in vain in this pursuit. 

Imagine being called to the Thanksgiving table only to discover stale moldy breadcrumbs on the serving dishes. You look for the other staples you have come to love, but they are nowhere to be found. How would you feel? Disappointed. Angry. 

God offers us Himself which is far greater than a Thanksgiving meal. He offers us the privilege to gorge ourselves on Him. Like overstuffing yourself on Thanksgiving Day to the point of misery with delectable bountiful savory dishes we have come to love. We get full to the point where we cannot eat anther bite. With God He increases our capacity to experience and enjoy Him for all eternity. We are satisfied but never get full. There is the opportunity to always want and receive more.  

More of God is what we need. More of God is what our souls crave. More of Him should be our life-long pursuit. When you look back at your recent devotion and worship activity, has it been religious exercises void of feeling or passion? Has it been a desire for more God encounters?

More. More of God revealing Himself. More of His conviction that leads us to repentance. More fresh encounters with Him in our private devotions. More God experiences as we obey Him. More time with Him. More power to serve Him. More holiness before Him. More passion for Him. We need more. Greater amounts and degrees of Him. More time spent getting to know Him. 

We pursue more. More of what? That very well may define a life well spent pleasing God or one wasted chasing the wind. May God give us the desire and wisdom to pursue more of Him.