The Fountain of a Thousand Blessings

 Right in the middle of preaching yesterday morning God stopped me in my tracks. He convicted me about a vow I made to Him years ago I had broken. 

Very well do I remember the morning I was praying some years ago. I sensed the Lord say in my spirit, "I want you to enroll in the school of prayer and intercession. I have many things to teach you. Give yourself to prayer." I sat there for a long while that morning. I knew how easily I can be excited about prayer and then the emotionalism wear off. I have fought this for three decades. I did not give a flippant response to the Lord. I knew myself too well to commit to something I knew I could never live up to. 

The truth is I want to be a man of prayer. I want to grow in prayer. That morning I sensed God was calling to a deeper level. A level I could not get to on my own effort. I finally submitted and told God I was willing to enroll in His school of prayer and intercession. I pleaded for Him to put the desire and discipline in me to follow through. Whatever it meant and whatever it might cost. 

I grew. My times with the Lord were rich. He enabled me to spend much time in prayer. I believe He spoke to me in those days some profound things. Something happened a few years ago that changed all of that. I will not go into detail. I have never spoken of it publicly. Let me suffice it to say it was not sin. It was something else that wrecked my faith and prayer life. I have never fully recovered from that incident to this day. Brenda knows about it. She is the only one. 

Don't get me wrong. I still pray. It isn't the same though. It is different. Less intense. Shorter amount of time spent in the prayer room than in previous years. I was still sincere. Really the only way I can explain it is that something broke inside me that has never healed. I did not give myself to prayer as God had instructed me to do. Sometimes it felt more like I was going through the motions of prayer.

Fast forward to yesterday morning. I preached from Ecclesiastes about keeping vows to God when suddenly the phrase, "School of prayer and intercession," jolted my mind. In a matter of seconds I recalled my God encounter calling me to enroll in the school of prayer and intercession. Conviction came as I stood silent in the pulpit. I am unsure of how long this conviction lasted and I stood there silent lost in God's convicting work in my heart. He convicted me publicly and I repented publicly. 

My habit for months had been to get up early and hit the gym. I knew if I worked out early I could get it out of the way and afterward I would spend time with God. Only most mornings my workouts cut into any chance for me to have long sustained prayer times. I repented of that yesterday and committed to readjust my schedule. Prayer first. 

This morning I got up at my usual time, but instead of going to the gym, I came to the office to pray. I recommitted to the Lord to devote myself to prayer. While sitting and listening, I felt impressed to browse through my books for an old classic volume on prayer by E.M. Bounds. I found it. 

Later, when I got a chance to read in that book I came across these words. "Prayer is the fountain of a thousand blessings." - Chrysostom

Everything in my ministry flows out of prayer. Revelation of His word. Inspiration for messages and writings. Direction for future plans. Anointing to preach and teach. To have a tender heart to shepherd the sheep. To believe God for impossible dreams. To trust Him for provision. All flowing from the stream of prayers and time spent with Him. 

Sitting alone with the Lord this morning in solitude and silence I could feel my soul lapping it up like a thirsty dog lapping water. My soul craved God. It drank in the silence and solitude like a parched person on a hot summer day. 

Time with God is a fountain. A never ending forever flowing fountain from which I drink. It flows endlessly satisfying the deepest cravings of my life. From that bubbling brook flows a thousand blessings I could never fully list or explain. 

I have missed that free flowing fountain for some time now. I still frequented the fountain but I was always rushed. In a hurry to move onto the next item on my to do list. Today prayer was my to do list. From that and reading just a few pages of scripture and the Bounds book the blessings flowed. My spirit feels more alive and awakened than it has in some time. 

There is more of God to drink in and more blessings to discover. Today was the first step in a long journey of prayer and times spent with God. I plan to drink long from this fountain and go places spiritually I have never been before. 

Like a school boy headed to his first day of class, I head to the prayer closet. I sit at the Master's feet to learn what He wishes to teach me. It is a school from which I will never graduate. There will always be more lessons to learn. While I do not feel like I am in kindergarten of prayer, nor do I feel like I am in advanced graduate level courses of prayer either. There is much to learn. Today I drink of the fountain from which a thousand blessings flow.