Walled In

God and His ways are mysterious. While we may do everything in our power to avoid suffering sometimes God allows it. That was certainly the case with Job. Satan afflicted Job but God allowed him to do it. God allowed Job to be tested. He also allows us to go through tests as well.

2019 has not started off well for the Edwards household. Though God blessed our family with another vehicle, a 2006 Mazda 6 for Tucker,  it has sat in the driveway un-driven for the past two weeks. Tucker went back to school in my truck until we can get his car repaired. While one of the boys drove it when they were home for Christmas break they ran over something that caused a protective plastic plate under the engine to fall and now is dragging the ground. We have been unable to get anyone to look at it so far. We cannot drive it until that issue is fixed. All the boys had problems with their cell phones at the same time. We have sent those phones in more than once for repairs and each time the phones return not repaired. Frustrating. On New Year's Day I suffered some internal bleeding in my left eye affecting my vision in it. Before that my vision had been the best I enjoyed in several years. I got the sickest I have been in years lasting nearly two weeks. The bank ran our tithe check through twice resulting in being overdrawn on several other charges and will not be able to fix it until sometime Monday or Tuesday. We have operated on just what cash we had for several days. One of my boys suffered a devastating heartbreak. One of the boys' college roommate is not coming back this semester. He only learned this yesterday just days before the new semester starts. Taylor is still trying to get accepted and get some kind of housing in place so he can work on his Mater's degree and go play football at Wayland with his brothers. All of that in just the first two weeks of 2019. We are walled in.

There is more I am not at liberty to disclose at this time. Everywhere I look I see mountains and am walled in. I am not alone. Job felt the same way. Read what he said.

Job 19:8 (ESV)
8  He has walled up my way, so that I cannot pass, and he has set darkness upon my paths.

Sometimes God walls our way. He shuts the door and avenue of escape. He leaves our way blocked and allows us to suffer. No matter how we may try, pray and labor to pass He denies us passage into easier days until His purposes are accomplished. In my case, I have felt this way for seven long years! Nobody has answers. Nobody can explain it anymore than Job's friends thought they could explain why Job suffered.

Job's friends attributed his sufferings to some secret sin. I had a person do the same thing to me three years ago. I was preaching a revival meeting. This person knew of some of our sufferings. They just could not fathom that God might wall a person in and they accused me of suffering because of some sin. I quickly reminded them of Job's situation at which they had no follow up answer.

We are quick to judge. We don't know the full details of people's suffering. True, some people suffer because of decisions they make and the resulting consequences. Some suffer because of the curse of sinful human nature from the fall. Some suffer because God allows it.

God allowing a person to suffer is beyond our comprehension. We cannot fathom why God would wall up a person's way. God walled up Joseph from freedom because He had a plan Joseph could not see. Joseph suffered but in the end Joseph recognized God's goodness in it.

God walled up the way for the Israelites at the Red Sea. They had no way of escape with the Egypt army bearing down on them and blocked by the sea. God used that situation for one of His greatest miracles in the Old Testament when he parted the Red Sea. He also used that experience to destroy the Egypt army forever to no longer torment God's children.

Paul suffered physically and was put in prison. God used his prison years to inspire Paul to write sacred scripture we treasure so much today.

We do not always know why God walls up our ways from time to time and does not allow us to pass. We have to trust Him. In the end God restored two fold all that Job lost. In the end God will prove Himself faithful. It is His nature. So if you are walled in and He will not let you pass keep trusting. If it never makes sense in this lifetime it will make sense in eternity for the true followers of Yahweh.

Pain In The Offering

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

- lyrics by Matt Redman from Blessed Be Your Name

I have tossed and turned for the past couple of hours. I've been mulling over several things. Most of them painful. The pain of others battling terminal illness. The pain of heavy burdened people. The pain of people continually suffering with health issues, financial set backs and the pain of watching others' loved ones destroy their lives through harmful decision after harmful decision. 

On top of all that are the private pains. Deep seated sorrows. That is when I thought about this song God has used to minister to me on many occasions. I have not heard it in a long time and I particularly remembered these lines. "Though there is pain in the offering..."

If anyone knew about pain in the midst of offering praise and service to God it would be Job. I am currently reading through Job. Job suffered immeasurably. God allowed Satan to push Job beyond the breaking point. Job fought painful battles in his mind. 

At one point Job stated, "Though he slay me, I will yet hope in him; yet I will argue my ways to his face." [Job 13:15] ESV

Job did not understand the pain. The loss of everyone dear to him except his wife, his possessions and eventually even his health. He regretted the day he was even born. 

Yet, Job still worshiped and hoped in God. Yes, there was pain in the offering but he still maintained hope and he did not cease praising. 

I spent a good deal of yesterday with a retired pastor friend of mine I have mentioned before. We left his care facility to enjoy lunch at Cracker Barrel. He even got to see some of his former parishioners there unexpectedly but divinely appointed. Brother Bob lost his wife to cancer three and a half years ago. Decades before that he lost a son in a tragic car accident near the church he pastored. He faced many other financial and ministerial set backs over the years. He battles his own health issues today. He kept telling me over and over again how good God had been to him. He maintains joy though he lives with pain in the offering. 

There are many who will awake today to seek God with pain in the offering. Brokenhearted wives and mothers. Discouraged husbands and fathers. Feeble senior adults who seem to go from one health crisis to the next. Those hemmed in by circumstances they cannot find a way out. Those disillusioned because it appears God has not come to their rescue. Grieving people over the death of someone they loved. 

On any given week in worship gatherings numerous people offer praise but there is pain in the offering. Many do devotions with pain in the offering. Nobody may see it but God and hear it but God. Songs mixed with sorrow. Praise and prayer mixed with pain. 

I heard the story of what inspired Matt Redman to write that song. There was pain in his offering too. Over the years I have read hundreds and hundreds of books. I have read through the Bible numerous times. The people God uses most in my life to encourage and inspire me are the ones who had pain in their offerings. Joseph. Moses. Job. Jeremiah. Jesus. Paul. David Brainerd. Charles Spurgeon. John Bunyan. Hudson Taylor. Amy Carmichael. Charles Simeon. Jonathan Edwards. Fanny Crosby. Lottie Moon. Elizabeth Elliott. Vance Havner. William Cowper. These all had pain in their offerings. They still praised and served anyway. Even when they did not understand the pain. 

Brainerd suffered from tuberculosis and died at 29. Spurgeon suffered from depression and gout and died in his mid fifties. Bunyan was imprisoned for preaching the word of God. Taylor lost two wives and two children in China on the mission field. Amy Carmichael suffered physically to the point of being bed ridden for several of her latter years. Jonathan Edwards got fired after two decades of faithful ministry in his first pastorate over a theological stand in which Edwards was right. Fanny wrote hymns though blind. Lottie Moon suffered impoverished conditions in her efforts to reach the Chinese people for Christ. Elizabeth suffered her husband being murdered by the very people he tried to reach with the gospel in Ecuador.  Vance Havner lost his wife and survived her many years but still preached and wrote helpful books. Cowper suffered from life long depression even to the point where he tried to take his life more than once, but still wrote moving hymns. 

There is pain in a lot of people's offering. I wonder if God uses the pain in the offering of your service and worship to inspire others? You may never know. You may never understand why you have to go through what you have to go through. 

Thank you for not giving up. Thank you for still showing up even when your heart has not been fully in it. Thank you for singing praise while choking back the tears because of the pain. Thank you for serving when your personal world is crumbling. Thank you for giving and sacrificing when you personally face critical needs others are not aware of. You are an inspiration. A true champion of the faith. Keep on even though there in pain in your offering.