It was long overdue. A time of personal reflection and repentance. What I thought would be a list of a few sins turned into a much longer saga. You cannot really ask God to search you and to create a clean heart in you without Him turning over every inch of your heart to reveal sins of all shapes and sizes. These sins can be offensive things we do as well as things we don't do that need doing.
My list of sins included attitudes, toxic thoughts, bitterness, anger, doubts, bouts with depression when I did not take my thoughts captive in obedience to Christ, unforgiveness, impatience, grumpiness, harsh words, going through the motions in prayer, undiscipline in multiple areas, and more. Not a fun time.
Most of us do not take repentance of sin seriously. We often offer blanket prayers like, "Forgive me of my many sins. Pardon my many trespasses." The problem with that kind of prayer is that we did not commit those sins in bulk. We sinned individual sins. It hurts a lot more when you take the time to repent of those sins individually. When I confessed the sins of impatience, anger, and grumpiness, I could recall the instances when I fell short in those areas. I felt genuine sorrow for my failures. I wanted to be in right standing with God.
Like many of you, I don't want anything to get in the way of a right relationship with God. The temptation to sin abounds. We can choose to act or react in shameful ways. We can harbor ill will toward certain people who wronged us or we perceive wronged us. We can dwell on toxic thoughts that war against our faith and hope. We can choose to rebel against God and His commands.
It is beneficial to take time periodically for personal house cleaning of the heart. I am not saying such times are pleasant. They may prove painful. They are necessary.
When I played high school and college football, we watched game film of our performance. Coaches would play, rewind, and play again our performance on the field one play after another. Every success and failure were captured on film. Coaches either praised a job well done or critiqued areas where we did not perform well. Consider times of repentance like watching game film. A rewind of how we live and behave. There are days when we live well and please God. There are other days when we choose rebellion over compliance, hypocrisy over holiness, and disobedience over obedience. Some days we have a mixture of good and bad moments.
Aren't you glad that God is loving, gracious, and merciful. Scriptures like Psalm 103:12, Romans 8:1 and I John 1:9 comfort our hearts. God is willing to forgive. He offers to create in us a clean heart. Psalm 51:10 Maybe you could use a little time in the prayer closet to do some reflecting and repentance as we journey early into 2026.
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