Holy Ambition

 From as far back as I can remember I had ambition. I used to sit in elementary classes practicing my autograph because I had ambition to be a professional athlete. I worked out in my junior high and high school years alone in the hottest part of the summers to excel in sports. I pushed my body and mind through ambition to succeed so I could play college football. 

When Jesus saved me, He did not take away my ambition. He redirected that ambition. It became a holy ambition, or at least it started out that way. I never dreamed I would become a pastor and preacher. In my early years in ministry, my ambition was to lead the biggest youth group in town. I worked relentlessly sharing my faith with students and saw dozens and dozens get gloriously saved. God grew that youth group. We saw multiple rows of pews filled with teenagers on Sunday mornings. We were big and influential. 

I left that ministry to become a pastor. My ambition to see the church grow intensified. We did grow in that first church. We doubled in size. It was during this season that God had to refine my ambition. I wanted the growth because I wanted the accolades. We won the award for the fasted growing church in our area one year. It was hollow. Between when we turned in our attendance statistics and the time I received the award our church split. Over the next few years attendance dwindled dismally. I cut my salary voluntarily several times. We met outside in the warmer weather on Sunday evenings because we could not afford to run the air conditioning all day on Sundays. I did not tell the church that, but they probably knew it. 

Over and over again I kept that ambition to see churches grow. To baptize more people. To see attendance increase. Always ambition for more. I struggled with contentment. Instead I chased ambitious success. God had to refine that ambition. I encountered systematic failure over and over again. Failed church plants. Decreasing attendance. Relocations. Only to experience more failure. 

It took decades for God to get me to a place of real holy ambition. To become kingdom of God minded. To reset my mind to not ambitiously focus on building my kingdom. Matt 6:33 exhorts us to seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness first. Paul challenged us to learn to be content in all circumstances in Phil 4:10-12. Holy ambition means to let God set the parameters of our ambition. I am still driven and focused. Still forward focused. Still ambitious. I set a goal this year to lead a minimum of 12 people to Christ. I ambitiously set a goal to baptize 100 people this year. I have never even seen 50 people baptized in my ministry. Only God can do that. Here is the difference than in my early ministry. I wanted to grow and baptize people because it was biblical, but I also wanted the recognition. 

Today, I shun the recognition. I want to glorify God. I got an email last week from the editor of a denominational magazine wanting to do an article on our church. I prayed over it and did not feel a peace about it. I want to guard against pride or ever stealing glory from God. I prefer to do my work with ambition, but behind the scenes where only God sees. I don't want to be in the spotlight. The only recognition I desire is from God. He will reward in eternity. I do not desire the accolades and my pride certainly does not need it. God gets the glory for 100 baptisms. My name or even the name of our church is not the focus. God saving people is all about His glory. It is all about Him. John the Baptist put it perfectly when he said in John 3:30, "He must increase and I must decrease." That is holy ambition. 

A Thousand Compensations

 I have served smaller churches most of my ministry. I have never had retirement set up as part of a salary packages. I will have to work as long as I am physically and mentally able to do so. No problem because I love my work. Small churches mean small salaries. On more than one occasion I have worked bi-vocationally. I am here to say emphatically that God makes up the difference. God's provision for pastors come in a thousand compensations. 

I heard that last statement today listening to a pastor speak on a podcast. God provides for pastors in a thousand compensations. Brenda and I have seen that repeatedly over the past three decades. It may bore you, but I am going to make a list of things God provided for us. Vacuum cleaner. Beds. Chest of drawers. Chairs. Dining table. 9 vehicles. Hundreds of thousands of dollars. Televisions. Bags of groceries. Tuition payments for school. Tanks of gasoline. Suits. Ties. I could d go on and on. God makes up the difference when there is lack. 

God proves Himself faithful to His people over and over again. He also does this for His pastors in unique ways. Many congregations are not able to adequately compensate their pastor. Some just choose not to do so even though they have adequate resources. It doesn't matter. God is able to make up the difference. His storehouse is amply supplied. He never runs out of resources. According to Ps 24:1 the whole earth is His and everything in it. Ps 50:10 is a reminder that our God owns the cattle on a thousand hills. He can meet any need. He knows every address for His people. He can get His provision to those who need it most. 

In I Kings 17, God used ravens to provide for His prophet Elijah. Night and day God commanded the flight of the ravens to deliver meat to His servant. How out of the ordinary. Miraculous. He is able to do those kind of things even to this day. I experienced it again this morning. 

My time with the Lord this morning landed in I Kings 17. My faith was lagging. My vehicle had multiple mechanical issues. I planned to take it to a mechanic and dreaded the diagnosis. Before the morning was over, I experienced God answering another prayer of provision. Provision in answer to something I've prayed for at least two years. I was offered to buy a vehicle that we can afford without going into debt. The offer left me speechless. I certainly prayed for God's provision of vehicles. I just never saw the means by which He would make that provision. Just another reminder that in my life God has a thousand compensations besides my salary. It is humbling, astonishing, and cause for rejoicing. He did it again. 

I asked God for six vehicles without any debt. I did not ask Him for brand new vehicles. I asked Him for debt free vehicles. God has provided two of the six in the last month. If He can do that, and He has, I trust that He can certainly provide the other four in His way and in His timing in a thousand compensations. To my God be the glory.