Pouring Out Your Soul

1 Samuel 1:15 (NKJV)
15  And Hannah answered and said, "No, my lord, I am a woman of sorrowful spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor intoxicating drink, but have poured out my soul before the LORD.

Many of you will wake on this Thursday morning with hearts weighed down with sorrows. You live in anguish. Such sorrow that the only one who can help you is almighty God. So you take your heavy laden sorrowed soul to Jehovah for help. 

You are not engaged in wishful thinking disquised as prayer. You are not going through the religious routine of presenting your petitions. Your prayers are far deeper. More earnest. More sincere. More fervent. Like Hannah, you pour your soul before Yahweh. Like pouring water from a glass, you pour every sorrow, every burden and the depths of your soul out in prayer. 

The travail and distress take their toll, as you come boldly confidently before the throne of grace to find mercy and help in your time of need. [[ Heb 4:16] These sorrows call for more than pretentious pretty prayer cliches. This travail is like labor pains giving birth to a miracle, relief and mountains moved. 

Very often this type of prayer is hard. Hard work. Exhausting. Draining. It is pressing in, desperate, clinging to God's word and accompanied with torrential tears. 

It means shutting yourself up to God. It may include fasting. It requires genuine mustard seed faith. It necessitates steadfast persevering prayer. The sorrows will not be overcome with mealy mouthed halfhearted measures. It means making your request without wavering. It calls for staying at it until the victory is secure. It might mean you are misunderstood by the religious ones around you. 

I saw such praying by a lady named Kay decades ago. Kay could not have children. She and her husband, Andy, tried everything. They finally gave into reality and tried adoption. They were put in contact with a lady who had an unwanted pregnancy. She chose to give her baby up for adoption to Kay and Andy. Kay busied herself setting up a nursery. They stayed in contact with the birth mother. They even joined her when the birthmother went into labor. 

The baby came out perfect. Tragically for Andy and Kay, the birthmother changed her mind and kept the baby. When Kay relayed this story to me, she said, "I went home and dug a deep pit in the yard. I buried all the baby stuff we bought. It felt like a death. We had a private funeral." She could not choke back the tears when she told me this story. 

Andy and Kay were members of the first church I served as pastor. Brenda and I grew very close to them. 

One week I felt very burdened to preach from the above passage about Hannah. I knew Kay hearing that message would devastate her. I wrestled with God all week to preach something else, but could not get free from the burden that was the message God wanted preached. Not to preach that message would have been disobedience. I prayed for Kay all week. 

That morning is etched in my mind. I entered the pulpit with trepidation. Before I concluded, Kay left her pew and knelt at the altar. Her wails were both piercing, and beautiful at the same time. If I have seen anyone pour their soul out to God, I sure saw it that morning. What unfolded was just as beautiful. The flock gathered around her spontaneously to pray her. 

A miracle soon followed. God put another adoption opportunity before Andy and Kay. Only the mother was a drug addict. She did crack the day she gave birth. Andy and Kay awaited anxiously. We prayed as a church for this newborn expecting serious complications from the drugs. God intervened. The little girl came out without any effects. A true miracle. Kay named the baby Hannah. Years later the same lady got pregnant again and gave the little boy to Andy and Kay. They named him Duncan. What an absolute miracle. I have not talked to Andy or Kay in over twenty years. Those little babies are now grown. Miracle children. Biological sister and brother. 

Never underestimate what God can do through pouring your sorrowful soul out to Him in travailing prayer. Don't give up on God. Your miracle could be just one poured out soul away.